( felicity grey - d.1 - finished )

I don't know why
I see the truth
In every line
Call me naive
But I would rather believe

( APPEARANCE -- ☆ )

Even though they turn their heads every which way, they will never see me.

They have eyes coated over with greed and jealousy. They seek me for things, little do they know the trap that they're falling into, the spider that their letting prey on their worthless souls.

[/i] Laughter fills the once empty air as they approach me with smiles on their bright faces, [/color]( I look back in sinister repulsion. )[/i] It's used as a warning, I try to tell them that this is their last chance; no one even heeds what I say though, they want my help. I am the mother duck, trying to care for my group of small, ignorant children. [/color]Just that, the beauty who stands at the head of the group, her tall hair flowing from behind her head and small feet placed firmly on the ground.[/i] The other girls may be prettier than I, or possibly think they are. I still win when it comes to plotting, thinking, learning, and following through with complicated plans. They will never compare to me in such as way.

All of them have their high-strung lives and small eyes that follow your every move, its absolutely shameful. They ask me for help with keeping stupid secrets, [/color]wow, isn't Mark cute?[/i] or [/color]do you think mom would mind if I Volunteered next year?[/i] Why would you entrust anyone, namely me, to these personal thoughts. I hear my name whispered throughout the halls,[/color] Felicity, Felicity. Go to her. She can make you he queen of everything.[/i] Most of them disgust me with their slapped on make-up and dolled-up faces. I don't need make-up, I am [/color]the[/i] keeper of all justice and peace. Someone like that doesn't need any artificial products to help with her appearance. Why would they?[/justify][/color][/blockquote][/blockquote]

( PERSONALITY -- ☆ )

They would follow me as a kid,

(ring around the rosey)

[/i][/color] trying to match my every step. Little did they know where I would lead them, I regret keeping my head in the clouds that day; it was possibly one of the most foolish things of my life. It cost me so much, more than some people can even imagine. If only I had looked around my shoulder; time can't be turned back and now I am forced to live with the price of it all.[/i][/color] Little me, trapped in her small corner of lies and secrets. Everything spins around my head in a cloud; it’s all a question of light and death.[/i][/color] Everything is between me and weather I open my lips to tell the whole world about it.

I remember that day so clearly, the clock chiming Twelve o'clock and all us children frantically trying to get out the small door. Recess was always everyone’s favorite time of the day, no one ever thought about the trouble they could get into there. It was all fun for us, we were innocent and oblivious to whatever went on around us, it was all the way of life to us. All except the bright-eyed girls with their whispers and small words.[/i] [/color]I could hear them; I didn’t know how much they could hurt me though, I never knew of hurt, real emotional hurt.[/i][/color] I had been hit many times before; I knew the stinging feeling of being physically wounded. My heart had never known the strain of being broken by cruelty, it was awful that day.[/i][/color]

I never played on the shining equipment the school provided for us; It was simply too crowded. Instead, it became a habit for me to venture off into the nearby trees, no one would ever see me there. At least that's what I thought. Those blonde girls with the headbands, they chased me; they hid behind the bushes and stalked me like a wolf going after its prey. [/i][/color]I was such an oblivious child, I didn't even know they were there.

I finally stopped under a tree, a small one with leaves just beginning to sprout on the supple branches. That's when they decided to go in for the kill.

Before I knew it one girl had my hair and was twisting it in painful ways. Others threw punches at my face and chest and began to taunt me, my crying only made them hurt me more. [/i]I could feel bruises blossoming and welts breaking through my skin. I[/color] screamed to make them stop, I screamed as loud as I could. Eventually that's what made them run away, probably scared of being punished.

I thought that they had left me to die, sprawled out on the ground like a corpse.

No one ever did come, my heart broke.


[/justify][/color][/blockquote][/blockquote]

( HISTORY -- ☆ )

“Felicity, please get your wrenched feet off the table; We are trying to have a family dinner!,”

[/i][/color]At only the age of nine years old, I remember the black boots I had on; perched so carefully on top of the hardwood of our families eating surface. I also remember mum’s face with a disastrous horror as her eyes would light up in a monstrous way. [/i][/color]My fork dropped and I reached down to pick it up, obviously not fast enough though. Mum got to me before I could touch the silver lining of the utensil. She grabbed me by the front of my shirt and slapped me right across the cheek.

“You will learn to behave yourself,” [/i][/color]She whispered in my ear, I still remember the pain blinding me as I could only see the disdainful look that my father gave me. Why couldn’t he help me? Why did he have to sit there like a lump? "Now eat your dinner,”[/i] Mum said, everything seemed to have cooled over by the time she sat down again. [/color]It was no longer her concern as long as everyone was having a good time, that’s all that mattered right? [/i][/color]Mum never knew how wrong she could be until the day that she picked me up at school, I will never forget the way that the other kids stood around me in a huddled mass, throwing punches and calling me names.

Mum came in and saw me there, her eyes glazed over with fury. To this day I don’t know if she was mad at me or the kids, she never spoke a word about it. I simply walked with her home, her pursed lips and glistening eyes told me something was wrong with her though. Was it that she was a mother? Are mothers supposed to care for their odd children? I’ve never known, my mother is so deep in the water that drowning herself will be the only option soon. She can’t bring herself out from the problems she encounters, she never has.

It’s all been a bunch of lies and secrets to compete to the top. To mum, I was never the first priority, she had her own ranking of like and that was it.

You couldn’t change it if you wanted to.

I've tried many times and all it has resulted in is frustration and anxiety; the feeling of hot tears dripping down my face is not something I enjoy all that much. Whispered curses under short breath and tightened fists, the anger is exhausting and as far as I care, unnecessary. [/i]She fights back against me and no one wins in the end, it's a maddening cycle that only upsets everyone. That's how it's always been.

Even when I was just a child still, I remember her hand as it would come across my face. My dad would look at us with a blank face of not caring, I have never cracked the code of his silence, it's something I've always wanted to know more about. What happened to him to make him like that?[/color] Did mum threaten him? That's probably what happened.

I know that's what happened.[/i][/color]

I remember that night, my arms shaking with the wind coming through the half-opened window in my room. I was only seven years old, a small child that just wanted the safety of being able to curl up next to her mother while listening to a fairytale of long ago. [/i][/color]Every night though, at eight PM exactly, Mum would put me to bed in a cold room. My windows would always leak, I would shiver often. It was never fun.

It finally started to get to me one night, the chill that settled itself deep into my bones. I tried to get out of the door and began to go into complete hysterics, I still don't know what came over me then. The screaming though, it was loud; I wanted Mum and dad to hear it, I wanted them to know that I wasn't okay. They came, they did nothing, then they left. It was as quick as that. I saw my dad's eyes though, before he left the room. They were soft like honey, as though he wanted to help me in some way. He payed for feeling sympathy towards me in that one moment, I hate thinking about it.

Over the plastered walls, I could hear sounds of screaming and an impact as though something were being hit. I had never heard Mum to be so mean, it appalled me.

I knew then though; mum was the ruler of the house. That was that. No matter how much I hated it, I was forced to live with it and endure the painful silence and dread that she always carried with her.

I had no other choice; I could never tell a soul. It was my first secret.[/i][/color]
[/justify][/color][/blockquote][/blockquote]

[/size]

----

OTHER :: 4F434A
ALL SPEAKING :: 7A6160
TEXT :: D3C19A
THINKING :: BFA586

[/center]

She looks awesome! But, will you give me more on her history? I'm so interested, but it's so vague and short. If you could add some more and give me a better sense of her family and life, I'd be so happy to accept!

[/color][/blockquote]