D6 // FEAR KEENI {DONE}

The girl screamed. It started at the very beginning of her throat travelling up and out through her mouth. It clung to her insides, and she just threw her head back and screamed. I watched this all, like an alien away from my own body. My eyes just watched the feeble girl in front of me. She had no control of her body. Was it really me? Does that sound crazy? I look over at the girl, that stood, back arched, as the scream tore from her lips. I stood shocked as I watched the girl scream and scream. I stay rooted to my spot as the girl closes her lips breathing heavily, and once again tilts her head back and starts screaming.

The girl that stood in front of me had long blonde hair, but it wasn't so much as blonde, more brown clung to the fine strands, then the blonde did, but for all cases everyone just said it was blonde. The hair sat untamed and messy on top of her head. On top of my head. I stare down at the messy folds that fall to each side of my face, it was awfully messy hair, that looked as if it had never been brushed. I cringe at the site of the many nots and tangles that were all so visible. Did I really treat myself like that? I watch the screaming girl with eyes imune to the screaming. My focus moves from her hair to her face. Sweat beaded her forehead. her eyes were closed, but i knew that blue orbs sat behind her eyes lids.

I knew better then anyone that those eyes were always full of fear, and that no matter how hard you looked, or how little you looked, everyone would always be able tosee the pain that never died from them, but for now they were closed to the world. Her eyes lead down to a small nose, it was nothing significant. But down below them, were lips that seemed as pale as the skin surrounding them. They were drawn into a tight grimace of pain. They were lips that rarely saw a smile, there was no crease beside the lips that showed a hint, that there had once been a smile upon the face. The skin was all, but smooth. Her face was as pale as a ghosts, and a ppeared to be so frail that it was almost transculent. Her cheeks held no colour, and from the distance that I stood from myself, it looked as if she was so very cold, as if I was so cold, there was no colour on my lifeless face.

My gaze searches her face, I was confused at the pain that was written on my face, it mad eme ache. I didn't understand why I was screaming, but that didn't bother me. My, her thin frail bady, shakes with exhaustion and pain. Her arms were pale and frail and the rest of her body looked as if a small gust of wind would easily blow it away. The only strange thing about watching myself was seeing me naked. I mean I saw it all the time, but I had never seen it from this point of view. My feet barely touched the ground, but that was normal for me. I tried not to touch naything. That was it. I tried not to touch anything. It was my biggest fear in my life. I feared being touched, by clothes, people, and well anything. I had never felt the touch of cloth on my body long, before I would start screaming. I am locked in a world of fear, I fear everything I see.

I look again at the beaten girl in front of me. But my vision was clouded by fear, because that was all i really did see. My whole life was fear. I feared anything touching me, and I feared my own name. I didn't even know it! They all just called me Fear. They all call me by what I am not. I am not fear. I am the very thing fear targets. I'm scared of anything, but my own shadow. I mean what can a shadow do? It's just there. Just there, but then eberything is just there, but my shadow moves. MY SHADOW CAN HURT ME! No, no please stop. I can't be scared of everything. I just can't. I've lost everything including myself

I take a tentive step closer to the girl that was now sitting on the ground, curled in a little bowl. Her eyes were closed tight and her body seemed to be screaming at her,sweat beaded her body and her cheeks had the tiniest fleek of colour on them. She was a weak defeted girl, exactly what I was. I'm a weak person. I don't have the patience for anything. I don't i just want to scream and run from everything. I'm not a kind person. I have no need to be kind. Everything is in my way, everything in life to me is trying to hurt me. But no matter how far I run, or where I run everything still follows me. I'm always being chased by my fears. I guess that happens when you are scared of everything.

The girl in front of me opens one blue eye, the eye seems drained of colour and on the brink of truning grey. I take a hesitant step closer to the figure. I halted just a meter from her. I couldn't get over the fact I was looking, watching myself. It makes my stomach churn. I couldn't remeber me that much. I couldn't remeber a time when I use to be normal I don't think I have ever been normal. I have always been scared. Even before my father started telling me all those stories. Even before he strted scaring me, dragging my fear to the front of my mind, then drowning it in more fears, until I saw nothing but fear. Everything I lay my eyes on is a new horror. Everything Even my mothers life is a horror by itself. She seels her body for money! Slowly I lower myself down to the girl. It felt odd knowing this was me. To be honest I was surprised I had allowed myself to lie downon the ground. The ground scared me. I make sure only my feet touch the ground. Yes, just my feet. I can make a quick escape then, if the ground suddenly decides to swallow me up. Yes, I must run. No the ground, no it can't crack.

"STOP!"

I scream at myself. My hands clash with my head and I squeeze my eyes shut, but the fear was there and it was slowly growing. It was like a bomb that would explode with the slightest provoction. "No, please... Stop, no, NO, NO!" I tug harshly ate my hair. I stand up, and spin around looking away from the girl. Away from my life, bu I could never escape my life. I can never escape the family thatkeeps taunting me, or my twin who always seems there, she thinks she understands. But she doesn't. I'll never be able to escape my father. I'll never escape. The fear builda in me and I start running. I run past them all, my whole family, my fears. EVerything, but it's following me. I look over my shoulder atthe girl lying on the floor, at me. And I start screaming.