W//Cristobal Corcoran <done>

[/color]//[/size]Cris
Gender[/color]//[/size]Male
Home[/color]//[/size]Everywhere
Age[/color]//[/size]17[/center]

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Every single memory of mine will always be accompanied with notes that sing despair, a lost dream that was never recalled

[/i], it flows through my right ear and wrapping it's thick gray twine around my brain in a way a snake would with it's prey. Every memory whispers sins of the pass, a history that I wanted to drown in the bottom of the sea[/i]. Or stuff in a sack and bury it six feet under and dance around on it where only the dead could read every secret that terrorizes my inner being. Where they whisper with no one but the worms of the ground.

But I'm your--

I knew someday that my past would come back and haunt me. What goes around comes back around. Everything in this earth revolves around the word karma[/i]. Well it was all that my mother believed in at least. But my father thought differently, nothing but a bunch of bozos making things up so that the rich would be good to the poor, or the lazy as my dad would describe them. Well dad if you could only see my life now, you would know that everything mom said was true. Now you could guess what happened next.... Right! The devils did come back and torment me with visions and whispered of what was the pass.

But I'm gonna always be with you dear.

An image flew by my blue eyes, it was oh so familiar. A little kid flew ran to his parent and for a moment I saw their faces. The rich dark eyes of my father as the man eyed his son. The soft fingers of my mother as the female ruffled the boys hair. It was--- beautiful, a perfect image of heaven, the angels were singing and saying everything will be all right HELL. Their loving look at each other was nothing but an insult for me.

See how much we love you?

It was insulting the way my parents looked at me, eyes full of love and maybe even a silver drop from the slits of their eyes. It was all so very dear to me but now it meant nothing. It was but a symbol of where all my misfortune begin. It made me feel horrible,amazing I could go on forever[/i] special. A feeling I have never felt till now as I see the parent and child. It almost brought a tear to my eyes. Then one blink ruined the perfect image of happiness. And that was all it took to also ruin my entire life.

I did it for your good.

It was all right if he told me before I found out from sources unreliable or maybe not. They said that everyday he would be seen going out of his office and meets up with a girl. At first i thought of it as nothing but lies, deceit maybe by people envious of our riches and to try an kill a mockingjay. But as the whispers spread like wild fire, so did my curiosity. It was all bubbling inside of me the facts and the lies all blended in me in a homogeneous mixture i couldn't distinguish which was which. So one day i decided to follow him, it was our lunch break. I followed him out of his office.

Espionage wasn't one thing I was very good at, for one i couldn't keep my steps light as a feather. Surprisingly he didn't catch me stalking him, five feet away. MY breathing was getting heavier since his pace hastened like he had somewhere to go to, like he was a lion rushing for it's dinner hidden in the far away corner of his lair. There was a hunger that I noticed in his walking, his face looked like it wanted to rip it in shreds unseen. His hands would twitch every five steps. I wonder what he is late for, suddenly his pace slowed down. He started to regain the composure I was oh so familiar with, he started to regain himself from the demon he became while he was walking. He makes a sharp turn towards a dark ally behind a bar. What could be his business in a place like this. The place was filled with mean looking people, people who I thought never existed in the hierarchic of district one. They shot looks of confusions and grins that signify that they had something wrong with their brains. Fear started to creep into me, I just wanted to know where my father would go, it was a long ally and there were even small houses made of scrap in there and all dirty stuff. I was terrified when I got there, I wanna go home. Then I saw my father. He was in a dark corner with a girl.

It was a girl probably five years older than me, I was astounded because he was touching that girl in places I shouldn't name. I wondered what he was doing with the girl then suddenly something glinted from the side of my dads hand. There was little light in the place where my dad and the mysterious girl was, it was close to onyx. But there was enough light source to see the light bounce of the knife. That was when it struck me, my dad was going to kill the girl. Before I could finish my thought he did what I expected. Slowly his hand cover the girls lips, then he shoved the knife into her stomach. I could see the fear of the girl as her life slowly faded into nothingness, so did my emotions. Never did I think I would witness anything like that so I did what anyone else would do I ran away.

I ran back to where my school was, never did I want to be reminded of it ever again. All I mused about it was that it was all a dream because of my weariness. A dream that placed me in the sweet ocean of doubt about my dads ethics. No he is a good father that wasn't him, no he is everything you didn't want him to be, he is the devil in human flesh.

My mind was running out of explanations as to why he did that. The thing you called conscience, started eating me alive. Everyday I saw him the clip of him stabbing the girl would play all over and over and over and over again until I was used to it. But still it terrorized me. In my sleep I dream of the girl sitting in the corner with a knife in her stomach and says "Why didn't you help me?" then she would grab the knife out of her the stuck it into my ear. That was the moment I would wake from the dream with sweat dripping from my head. That would be the cycle for three years. I had to live with it, I tried what people would call a lucid dream, I tried to talk to her but everything would end up the same. But somehow was able to cope up with it and I never whispered what my dad did to others. It was all inside of me, kept in a jar behind my heart so that I wouldn't think any of it. But sadly everything I never forgot, it was like a video that kept repeating the movie even though it ended it would go back to the beginning and it goes on and on and on until your last piece of sanity evaporates just like the girls life.

Every night after that incident my father would disappear after dinner and come back looking tiered like he went into wrestling or something. Now and then their would be a crimson drop on his clothes which I knew was blood, but I just kept my mouth shut so that my mother wouldn't know and get into spiraling depression as what happened to me. But I tried to be cool with that and I know I could handle, but I wasn't so sure with my mom. Every night I try to keep my poker face on for my mom not to read the expressions on my face when my father gets home. MY mother would always ask, "Honey where have you been?" and my father would answer in his deep solemn voice "I had business to attend to my dear." Just like that my mother would go on with her reading, actually my mother was my inspiration for everything. Ever since I could remember she would read to me every night. That's where I developed my love for reading. She would read whatever she could get her hands on like the papers she would read to me about the economy an all that.

The second is my love for the finer music. The violin for example, my mother would play it everyday and I would listen to er even if I stand outside her door and put a cup around my ear to hear her music very clearly. I would touch her violin and play with it even though it would be very big my mother would just laugh and say, "When you grow up I would teach you." And would ruffle my dark hair and laugh. She was my model for everything good in my life. She was like the sun that shone in the icy darkness of the arena in the 54th hunger games. Her warmth would try and spread around my body but there is an even greater force pulling me back into the abyss of ice and darkness. It would prevail.

Did she ever teach you?

And that Power destroyed the last hope in my life. It was the night of my birthday. The whole day my father wasn't their in the morning he was gone. We waited lunch time but still he didn't arrive. I didn't mind since I knew what he would be doing. He would be killing. Taking lives and burying the bodies some where no one can find, and that was what he was also doing to me. Every person he killed would start whispering to me about why I didn't do anything, why I didn't tell anyone. I love him I tried to explain but they would say, no amount of life could bring all of our lives back, and I would let them take my sanity away as they continue to whisper to me. When finally my father arrived home, my mom was furious she told me that I should go back to my room, but what I did was I hid under the table which was covered with table cloth and I heard my parents screaming at each other. My mom said that my father was evil since he couldn't appear on the day of my birth day and why he couldn't just take a break. Then I saw it. It was dim but I saw it, my mind suddenly took charge I needed to see my father kill my mother, the only good thing in my life and he is taking it away from me. Knowing that I had no match for my fathers strength because I witnessed it myself when he was helping me with training.

I was supposedly going to be a career but then I got lazy and my dad told me that he would just teach me somethings he knew. So we were fighting at the back of the house. We were in fighting stands I was awfully bruised but my father didn't even break a sweat, "Stay strong and don't let your opponents see your getting weaker. show your strength!" then he rushed for me and lifted me up and threw me.

That image was he same as this one, but now my father had a knife in his hand and then the worst happened he wrapped his hand around her mouth and stabbed her. The time I came out she saw me looking then screamed but it was muffled by his hand, but I knew she saw me my father had his back turned so he didn't see me. Doing what a sane person would do I ran.

I ran again from the problem I didn't try to stop him, the tears streamed down my eyes and I knew I already had to ell someone about this. Going across to the justice building I combined my thoughts and formed an explanation convincing enough to make them to just check on my parents home. Miraculously they believed what I said and quickly rushed to my house, I didn't o with them since they told me to stay inside the building. Minutes later I saw them taking my father in a cell but I know he saw me because he suddenly laughed like a maniac. That was the last time I ever saw my parents.

They brought me to an orphanage after that since I would be a burden if I stay with my relatives. There I never talked to anyone I became as mute as an avox. People thought I was the insane kid I was fine with that I didn't want to talk with them anyways. Then one night I was kidnapped, some guy covered my mouth with some chemical and I passed out. Some would get scared but I wasn't, to me it was the best thing that ever happened because when I woke, I knew no one. I could start to make friends but since my father got into jail I thought the voices would die slowly, but no it didn't. They grew louder and louder as the months pass by. The time I would talk to someone all I would hear are the whispers of the people my father killed. Seeking revenge for what he has done to them. They say that the payment was me. But their was this one voice which was dearly familiar. At night I went to sleep early, the dream was not about the girl again but it was about this other girl with brown hair. She was fighting with a man, struggling even. But the man wouldn't let her go so she grabbed the knife and stabbed it into the mans chest. Quickly she turns around and my eyes grew large. It was my mom.

"Your next my dear". And that's when I screamed.[/color]

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Spirits would come to me and cover up my perked up ears with their intense whispering therefore I would not be able to hear what anyone would say. Nothing but the words revenge, payment and life is all I would ever hear for the rest of my life. But my eyes are the only way, the intense blue eyes would yell out my fear and my anger, would catch the people's lips moving, up and down like the demons and I would use all my knowledge, of words from what I have learned and from what I would soon learn to combine their kinetic lips and the sound of the letters to understand what they are saying, and make a quick reply to it. But I'm not deaf not yet at least, it's only that the whispering becomes intense when someone talks - demons surround you and soon we will eat your soul and take you with us to hell. No never will I ever be a slave to you! But music calms the demons me. The sweet hum of a violin feeds our hunger, the sound of every notes from the piano nourishes our souls, or any musical instrument that is, are the only way to stop the whispers because they listen and enjoy it as I also love it.

At times I wouldn't even hear what my pale red lips would be saying they speak the words of the demons our words, so I stutter and tumble over my sentences but it could never be helped I'm sorry. Some would think of me as a boy with a speaking disorder and would teach me how to talk, but I wouldn't mind them silence is the only way I would make sense of what they are telling me and we tell you the truth of your pass be happy. At times they would make me feel small even though my height is five feet seven inches tall which was your father's height if you wanted to know. The louder they got the claustrophobic I felt in the corner as they surround me and sing the anthem of revenge. Sitting there I would grab tight my scrawny, long legs and rock back and forth whispering:

"Seven Devils all around you,
Seven Devils in my house,
See they were there when I woke up this morning,
I'll be dead before the day is done,
Before the day is done."

But no sooner did I know I have died even before the day came, and I've been dead ever since I placed my dad in jail. The person who they say I look similarly with. My symmetrical nose would be the one they say looked like my fathers, but the bushes above my eyes they say ruined my looks. That's the reason why I constantly pull it out with tweezers I sneaked away from the mother hen in the orphanage I used to live in before I was kidnapped. But as my frail body would clearly tell you I was not taken cared of when I was there. No one really cared as long as they gave you food and a place to stay, they think that they would already have a one way ticket to heaven. But instead that gave Lucifer a signal to keep his arms wide open for them and nuzzle them for the rest of their after life. Which was forever. And that is as long as I have been dead, now I will have to try and restore my right ful place in my body.[/color]

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I'm insane.

And to be honest that's the only word I could ever describe myself with, but it isn't my fault it's the demon's fault. We'll stay with you forever and be one big happy family. Never could I ever make good decisions, because we judge for you. Silence will forever be my friend, so will loneliness, since I never even hear what my mouth coughs up. To me the world is but a place of silence and death. I'm confused a lot, even with the simplest of things - because we tell you what not to do. Everyone who could speak fluently will instantly be my idol it's easy for him or her since he or she doesn't have any demons talking to her or him. Don't blame us blame your father. Sometimes I think everything that happens is just an illusion but as time progresses, my hope lessens every time I see a person talk to me, they make me feel depressed since I will never hear their voices. I feel hypocritical sometimes since I fool myself into believing that everything will be okay. But it never will. Visions sometimes pass by in front of me but I keep silent about since no one would even understand anything I have to say.

But music calms the beasts. And it is the only thing that will help me keep my sanity.

or else you would stay with us, Forever.[/justify][/color][/blockquote][/size]


[/blockquote]odair[/center]

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<SONG>: Seven Devils | Florence + the Machine
<FC>: Grayson Vaughan
story
think
speak
hear
souls

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