Adrian Swann D6 Done

Main 302a31
Thoughts BFC5C0p
Speech E6EEE7

APPEARANCE

“Adrian, your eyes.” A small whisper sounded in my ear, it sounded like the small intake of breath or the rustling of wind. I looked into the window in front of me and pale blue big round eyes with flecks of grey stared back, full of sadness and wonder. I reached a hand out to it and touched the surface of the cool glass. A small shiver ran up my arm as I stared and stared, waiting for any signs of life. The person just looked at me following my every movement, from my fluttering eye lids to the rise and fall of my chest. Those eyes just stared back unflinchingly boring into my very soul. I raised one curious black bushy eyebrow and drew in a shocked breath as the reflection mimicked me. “Smash the window and jump, I dare you,” a deep voice sounded in my head, echoing around me, “You are worthless you don’t deserve to be alive.” I looked around wildly, searching for the source of the voice. “No I won’t do it, I’m not worthless. Please leave me alone.” I pleaded my voice cracking, “Leave me alone.” It laughed madly slowly fading to nothing, a memory.

I ran my hand in frustration through my thick black hair. It stuck up in every direction, strands of grimy oily hair. I whipped my head around, those taunting voices teasing me and yelling at me. I sank to the ground covering my ears with slim calloused hands. I cried out in frustration and bit my thin pale pink lips trying to distract myself. My deep voice carried around the room as a yelled and yelled for the voices to have mercy for the voices to shut up. I huddled in the corner and leaned against the wall pinching the top of my crooked nose. I felt my eyes start to sting and tears rolled down my face, my normally pale washed out features coming to life, covered with red splotches. I wiped my nose on my torn black fitted shirt and sat there staring into space my broad shoulders shaking.

PERSONALITY:

An open book is what I am to be described as, you can look at me and it’s like flipping through the pages of a book. All my emotions are on display, what I thinking, if I feel desire or lust, if I’m frightened or if I’m happy. One look is all you need. I’ve always wanted to hide my emotions and be the strong one but that’s not who I am. “I know what you’re thinking. You can’t get rid of us. You never will be able to,” the words slithered over my skin as those voices sang and hissed in my ear. I always tried to keep my emotions in check when I’m with my sister, Legacy. She needs me and I have to be there to help, I can’t burden her with my problems. I am her strength and her only family. “You are weak and pathetic. You should die a painful death,” that stupid voice was filled with scorn and hate. I was a book with only very few chapters left, I am fading just a worthless boy who displayed everything he thought and everything in life that was good turned to something horrible.

“Trust me Adrian, I won’t hurt you. Just listen to my voice and trust me.” I was a boy who didn’t trust, a boy who listened to no one. I pushed everyone away and hurt anyone who came close to my heart. If I did they would just be ripped away like everyone else in my life who I loved. The only person who I could trust was my sister but even then I didn’t tell who my deepest darkest secrets. I was full of suspicion and to anyone who met me I was just a crazy boy who talked to himself and screamed outrageous things. “I am real. Don’t you believe that I’m real Adrian?” It just kept repeating and repeating itself over and over. “I don’t trust anyone, not anyone. I cant.” I kept on mumbling to myself. How could I trust anyone when I could barely make my own decisions? Was insane that I liked and trusted the voices or had those voices pushed me way over the edge?

I shot an evil look at the old man who walked by, my lips curled into an evil snarl. “Come on old man you can walk faster than that,” I could hear the venom in my voice. I was an asshole a big one. Maybe that’s why everyone walked out of my life. “No that’s not it and I know it. It’s because I’m insane. I like to talk to voices that only exist in my mind.” I screamed at the old man my voice rising in pitch. I let out a harsh laugh and sat back down on the hard ground. I was someone people avoid, someone where people would stamp dangerous or crazy on my forehead. I always thought I was a funny guy and easygoing but I guess no one believes that only myself. Well at least I had my good looks and charming face going for me. I knew that many I wasn’t the brightest or nicest kid or even the sanest kid but at least I was alive. Alive and breathing, right?

HISTORY:

I took a big drag on the cigarette and felt the nicotine slowly sink into my lungs. Pure and full of bliss, I sighed with satisfaction. This was the one thing I appreciated in life, it wanted me and I wanted it, badly. I flicked the cigarette bud onto the floor and stood up carefully, stepping onto the sidewalk. I stuffed my hands deep into my pocket and a cold breeze ruffled my hair. I was addicted to cigarettes and I was always seen with a bottle in my hand. I slowly walked down the street lost in my thoughts as the sun started to sink below the horizon. “Hahaha…. Smash the bottle and go have some fun.” A rough voice said loudly. “Hello, who’s out there,” my voice rose in pitch as I looked around, frightened. “Look inside Adrian, inside your mind.” The taunting voice grew louder and as it ranted on and slowly others joined in. I fell to my knees, screaming and shaking my head trying to rid the voices but deep down I knew they wouldn’t disappear, they would come and go as they like.

Many months past and days grew old as I watched my sister leave the house every day to go see her boyfriend. I felt a pang of jealousy bloom in my chest as I started longingly out the window and watched my sister walk down the street and disappear as she went to see him. I curled my knees up to my chest and just sat there staring into space waiting for her to return. My only company was myself and the voices I despised. I always wondered what it was like to be loved by someone and to love them back. But no I could afford to be as selfless as that, I could afford to have them ripped away from me. I laid on my back and closed my eyes waiting for time to pass, waiting for my sister to come home, to come to me. It felt like months when I heard the sound of the slamming front door and the loud bang of running footsteps on the wooden floor. I opened on curious eye to see my sister flying into her room. I slowly got up and approached her bedroom door, “legacy, are you alright?” I whispered to the closed door, my body pushed up against it. I opened it slightly and entered when no one answered. My sister sat curled up on her bed, her face tear streaked and red. I lowered myself next to her and wrapped a comforting arm around her and felt her body shake with sobs. She rested her head on my shoulder and I stroked her hair softly, comforting her, for a reason I didn’t know of.

I felt my heart start race as I looked at the small shabby house in front of me. The windows were rimmed in dirt and cracks crept down the middle of the window. “Smash the window and grab any precious things you can find... or else,” the four boys cheered. I can’t I thought scrambling back in panic, I am not that person I don’t go around breaking into other people’s houses. I could feel my breath coming out in ragged gasps and my tongue felt thick in my mouth. “Please leave me alone. I don’t want to do that. It goes against everything I believe in,” my voice came out in a whisper and I felt tears burn the back of my eyes. The boys’ laughs were full of scorn and amusement as they shoved me closer to the window, to my doom. I dug my heels deep into the dirt and kept screaming, “I won’t, I won’t.” I saw the boys grins widen as they slammed my head against the cool glass and I felt the world spin around me. That was when I realized I was nothing like those other boys and that if no matter how rebellious I felt, I would always be a goody to shoes deep down and nothing could ever change that.

Template credits to Kiah <3