sorry for the shared trauma { liza & toby jb

Tobias was the last person I ever thought would visit. Izzy, sure. They had a real connection, a bond that not time nor distance could break. She and I are true sisters. Chosen, not blood. But neither of us cares about that semantic honestly. Toby, though? I never would have pegged him for sentimental, and I certainly wouldn't have thought he'd give two shits if I died.

"Naturally," is all I say back, and I turn around to quickly wipe away my prior visit with Izzy from my eyes. I'd never let anyone in that house see any weakness before and I wasn't going to start now. Sniffling away the last little bit of sadness, I focus my attention back toward him where he sits, sprawled out across the sofa like he owns the place. He never did have good manners.

"You know, when I win," I smirk in his direction, confidence never wavering, "I won't need that room back anyway. I'll have a whole house to myself." Pushing myself away from the wall I was leaning against, I close the distance between us with a few paces. He looks far too comfortable for my liking, so I hike my foot up to kick against the heel of his shoe and knock him off balance.

"See if I invite you over now, you shit."

I sit down during the lull, the small space of deafening silence. It breeds anxiety in the form of a dull ache right between my shoulder blades. But it turns quickly to a knife piercing my flesh when Toby's question hits my ears. I never thought quite this far. If I'm honest, I never thought I'd see any of them again, let alone have my named called on my last reaping day. Just my fucking luck, I think quietly to myself as I shift uncomfortably next to him on the couch. 

"It's not wrong," I answer, hesitant to share this with him because that name is the only piece of the old me I still have left. "It's just different. From before she took me from the orphanage." Once I finish I realize I'd been clenching my fist so hard my nails broke the skin on my palms, and I wince as I pull my fingers away. "It's my real name." Tears sting in the corners of my eyes. My chest fills with sadness but my blood rises to a boil.

"Not Strauss."