beneath the surface // inside&prop&nixie

Victorship was a strange feeling. It was a wonderful one, don't get me wrong, but a strange one all the same. After winning, I almost felt bombarded with attention. Everyone seemed to want to meet me, including other victors, and I mean, I certainly don't blame them, but it was a very different feeling. I spent so much of my life feeling overlooked that it was just a very new thing to me.

Apparently, that's what happens when people finally realize your talent. I've had the talent and ability to win the Games for a long time. The opportunity just didn't really present itself until this year. Sure, I could've volunteered, ripping my parents' hearts out in the process, but what was the good in that? I was sure they were anxious enough when I was reaped. They didn't need the anxiety of their daughter volunteering when they weren't confident that I was going to win.

It'd be a lie if I said I was confident the entire time from the day of the reaping to the day I won, but I certainly was confident most of the time. I hardly ever faltered. Faltering was what got you killed in the arena, after all. That's why I made it out alive: I kept believing I could do it.

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The victory tour had been interesting so far, but it was just getting started, honestly. I was prepared for so much more to happen while I made my way up through the Districts, Twelve to One. There were a few stops I was specifically making sure I made, though. There were some people I just had to see. Abel's family members were definitely on that list. I needed to see his siblings, as well as his cousins, if I could. It just felt important to me, and I wasn't quite sure why. I hadn't seen him die, but I still knew he'd been killed. He'd been killed by Whiskey, and I'd killed Whiskey, so maybe this could be some sort of closure for them when they saw me. I wasn't sure how important that was to them, but there was always a possibility that seeing me would mean something to them.

So, I started with the easier of the two tasks when it came to seeing the O'Malleys. I needed to see Abel's cousins before I saw his immediate family. It would be easier on me, and that's what I really needed right now. Too many emotions might surface if I were to start with seeing his siblings and parents, or whatever his home situation was.

I approached the household where I'd been told Prop O'Malley and family lived, and came up to the door. Abel had volunteered for Prop. That took some courage. The kid was brave, I'd give him that. Despite the fact that how religious he was seemed a bit nutty to me, he was also well-meaning, from what I could see. I wondered if his cousins were similar.

Knocking on the door, I awaited an answer. From what I'd heard, this side of the O'Malley family was especially large, so I really had no idea who I'd be facing when they answered the door. Wait and see was all I could do.

For some reason, I just hoped that Prop wouldn't be the first one my eyes met.