keep calm and get your spa day on [ lindsay and heather ]

"Heather, it's okay. It's nothing a little massage and make-up can't fix. You'll be patched up in no time, and then, I say we head out and take this place in. Drinks, guys, more drinks, more guys! It'll be fun and you need it. You look HORRIBLE!"

I'm just hoping that she suggests she washes her hair because I don't want to have to tell her that there's... stuff... in there. I look at her with a ditzy smile and hand her some shampoo. It's a hint. And besides, I actually like Heather. She's the only gal pal I've got here and we're in this together. Just the two of us. All alone, but together. 

I lay back in the spa and exhale a deep breath. So peaceful and cute! I think I might come back here one day if I manage to make it out alive. And even if I die, I've made plans to have my body shipped off to a Doctor in Miami to basically resurrect me anyway. So, really, whatever happens, this place hasn't seen the last of your girl Lindsay.

"I'm so glad we get to share this experience together," I say, lifting a cucumber from my eye. "There's no one else I'd rather be here with. We got each other now, FOREVER! Isn't that just the best feeling?!"