all work, all play // jf(d) day 3

I t z a l

I had a fever
Until I met you
Now you make me cool
But sometimes I still do
Something embarrassing

Niko had it all wrong.

Well – he had most of it wrong.

Which wasn’t really hard to imagine because the kid looked like he couldn’t walk and breathe at the same time, let alone write a treatise on moral philosophy.

Each and every one of us had to kill for survival. That was the name of the literal games. We either put someone in the ground or they put us in the ground. And if we hid in a corner and refused to fight, either someone would come find us and put us out of our misery, or the game makers would get bored and destroy us anyway.

And so what if I chose this?

I wasn't some earth shattering example of someone who killed to survive. It wasn’t that I did this to taste blood or cut off someone’s tongue. I didn’t want to gouge out Ivy’s eyes or make fucking Niko beg. I just wanted to be able to get some sleep tonight without the thought that I was next to go, or that there were so many more bodies to chop up that I was going to make myself sick by the end of it.

Speaking of.

We headed toward a quieter spot on the mountain. I couldn’t help but notice the drops of blood coming from Mirage, who was either delirious from having lost so much or just fucking pissed – hard to tell – walking in front of me and clearly grinding some gears. I don’t think either of us had expected Ivy to put up such a fight, let alone for her to be one bad blow away from having her face up in the night sky.

“Kid’s always been an idiot. The train ride was just him and I shitting on everyone’s reaping videos. Can’t say he could add much to a conversation.” It had been bitter coming out of my mouth. I had laughed at half the things Niko had said that day, but now all that had been rearranged. He was the same as any other five. Moon faced, uncurious, and sanctimonious to boot. “Given he doesn’t have much to work with, I doubt he understands any sort of nuance.”

Should I have felt at least a little bad for Ivy? Or for Niko?

He was out wondering on his own now, and there were still more than a dozen people left.

“Fuck him and his little dick energy.” I shifted the sack on my back. “Yo, slow down, why don’t I help you try and patch you up a bit? Not gonna lie, you bleeding all over the place is gross, man.”