drop the guillotine | niko v mirage v elm | day 6

e l m  -  e r r i n g t o n

The beauty of the sunset, sitting there with Theo, is short-lived. I still think of the beauty of this place as something menacing, something poisonous, and as night descends upon us and the anthem blares, I’m reminded once again that we are not here for any enjoyment. This beauty is not a kindness; it is cinematography for those who want to watch us bleed.

My sleep is fitful, but I’m switching off the watch with Theo anyway, so I use my sleeplessness to give him some respite from reality. I stare into the night with a blank expression on my face, thinking of Dorothy, of Svet, and of Autumn.

I killed a person. Not alone, but I did it. Me, responsible for another human life.

Self-loathing wraps its way around my thoughts, tangling through everything. I feel the pain of it in my body, a physical ache.

What do my moms think of me right now? How could I ever step foot back home in Ten?

I sit there for hours in the dark, pondering it.

The answer becomes obvious somewhere around mid-morning. I’ve just stepped away to pee, and within moments I am engulfed in a deep purple fog. Here is my answer: it’s another day with another fight, and odds are that I’ll never step foot in District Ten ever again.

Heartbreak and relief mingle like old friends in my heart. I think of the creek by my home. I think of the sheer fight in my body the day before, the will to live, and wonder how to hold onto it. I wasn’t doing well before these Games even started, and now what do I have to cling to? What is there hope for? If I die, I will never have to face up to what I’ve done to Autumn.

I’m too wrapped up in my own thoughts to know where I’m going when I wander back to our camp. I’m wandering up, up, up, and I keep thinking I’ll turn the corner and see Theo just there, but I never do. The break in the fog gives me hope at first, but after a long time wandering through the mist, I know that this is by design.

I know, suddenly, that I will never see Theo again.

My heart rate picks up. I am alone.

I am going to die today, I think.

I’m —

Oh.

Just out of the corner of my eye, I see movement. Not Theo. Someone else, someone familiar. Do I know his name? I wrack my brain for what it might be, but the word escapes me. And he’s talking, but he’s not talking to me. Fuck.

I see another tribute emerge from this mist. I don’t know her name either. I see the boy lunge at her, hear him throw a taunt through the fog, and then – "Great, I guess I'm going round two with you too.”

I’m not ready. I'm not. He surges toward me, and I try to back away, but his blade slices deep into my foot, mangling it, tearing flesh from bone and skin from muscle.

I scream. My vision blurs.

I’m so lost, so absolutely overwhelmed by the pain, that I barely hear what the girl says. Something about Mirage. God, the pain. GOD.

But then she’s on me too. She lashes into my arm, and the pain is immediate, doubled, blinding. I scream again, living somewhere beyond anguish. My weapon falls to the dirt in my other hand as I try to hold my arm together. Every moment is an agony.

All I can do is scream, sob, bleed.

I take too long to pick my weapon up from the dirt. I can hardly move. I can’t speak. All I can do is scream bloody murder at the people who are ending my life.

Mirage waited impatiently for the floppy-limbed newcomer to stop writhing in pain so she could take a good look at their face. Their screams were unfamiliar, so they hadn't met yet. She was never against kicking a dog while it was down - if Nikolas was going to maim them, then she had every right to keep them on the ground. It was strategically sound. A moment later, the name and face clicked together when she finally noticed the details of their face. Elm Errington. She had assumed it was someone else.

The issue with cornered animals was how ferocious they could be. Even in their own clumsiness, arm and foot dangling on fleshy strings, Elm managed to surge forward like a rhinoceros and catch both of them with a spiked metal club. That caught her off guard. She felt a new, searing pain in her lower leg. Something unfamiliar. She heard a crack and didn't know if it was from her own body or Niko's. She gritted her teeth, silently admitting to herself that this was absolutely irritating. Fighting two people with Itzal at her side was one thing - fighting two people who wanted each other and Mirage dead was another matter. It left her open for lucky shots like that one.

"Oh please, you took that as a compliment and ran with it? Typical man." It was painful to roll her eyes. She realized how exhausted she was, and the aches were starting to catch up with her. There was an unexplained ringing in her ears, or maybe that was Elm. Either way, it was difficult to make out what Niko was saying.

"Can you shut up already? We're trying to have a conversation," she snapped at Elm. The incessant screaming was too much. "Fall on my sword if it's that bad. Save us the trouble."

She heard the last bit of Niko's snide commentary before he was on her again. Everything in her body reacted on instinct; it knew how to prepare itself for a defensive strike, but something in her leg didn't cooperate. There was that searing pain again, and her leg bended at an unnatural angle. Fuck. Something was definitely wrong, but there was no time to think about it because Niko's sword was trying to make a home in her leg. She pushed the hilt away, coating her own palm in blood, and attempted to smear it on Niko's face.

"Eat it and weep, hypocrite"