Mist Jay D9 (Resub)// wip

Tony Cullen taught me how to walk again.

Not literally, but in the most metaphorical sense possible.

Although my weekly meetings with Stellar to practice counting numbers were a good start to a long journey of healing and improvement, it was not till Violet, the youngest of the bunch, told me to get my shit together. That is when the real change happened. I sniffled and cried as I dragged my feet through the muddy paths of the woods, along the banks of the river, searching for anything to give me a reason not to turn around and go home.

At least I could say that I had tried.

What at first was an infuriating encounter dripping in self-indulged misery, turned into the first day where I truly felt I was capable of walking this earth without my brother.

We were not supposed to fall into the river together that day. Tony was just trying to throw me in on my own. Let me struggle against the current, fighting for survival. Truth be told, if I went under I do not know if I would have had the fight in me to make it back up. Maybe I would have just let myself drift away, follow the current all the way back to you Storm.

The fates had other things in store.

Our bodies crashed against the water together and the tension broke with laughter. A moment so small and sincere. A moment that changed it all.

Next thing I knew, I was infatuated with a schoolgirl crush. Planning parties where he would meet my family, going on walks together. The adventures I went on with Mick slowly turned into adventures I went on with Tony. I found the person in my life that made me feel whole again. I found the distraction that consumed me more than my sorrow.

A month passed. Then a year. I grew up and all the pain I hid behind what I thought was true love came to bite me in the ass.

Tony and I fought; we fought a lot. A relationship that started with kicking and screaming was only doomed to go down in flames. And the flames burned bright. It became clear that whilst he loved me unconditionally, I was incapable of loving anyone. That is what he let me believe. Believe that I was reckless, impulsive, and so stuck in my own mind that there was no hope to ever find the light behind my blue eyes.

Tony left.

I was truly walking on my own now. No twin to hold my hand and no boyfriend to use as a crutch. Just my own two feet against the earth.

Do you know what it is like to fly? To be one with the wind, ever shifting and ever-changing course? To be able to see life in a way that is almost an indescribable high of emotions and immortality. There is nothing like the feeling of being untouchable, above everything else. Never needing sleep, a mind full of ideas and adventures. The best part, the ability to do it all.

Limits did not exist.

Ecstatic laughter as I ran through the woods on my two bare feet, jumping over tree branches and wading through little creeks and puddles. Only an hour before when I woke up, there was a sense, a feeling that the woods were calling me to the next adventure. They whispered tales of mysteries to be solved and paths to be discovered. A blank parchment beckoning to be filled with stories beyond anyone’s wildest imagination. I was the one they were calling to write their histories. I just knew that there was more to this world then the average eye could see, and I was blessed with the sight.

I had found my purpose. I had found my calling.

Time became a construct. Night and day blurred together, irrelevant in the grand scheme of things. Man made ideals were in a sense too humane for my complex mind. Simplicity in the structure of society would only hold me back from unveiling the truth. I would return home baring the answers to the universe. I would have cracked the puzzle for us all. There would be no more poverty, no more suffering for us all. We would reap the benefits of the earthly deities and the controlling forces.

I gathered my evidence of the gods and their stories. I placed them gently in ma basket making sure that each and every item would be secured safely away. I needed the world to see, to open their eyes to what was right in front of their noses. When I believed that I had gathered enough of the divine objects, I turned my direction back home.

Follow the river. Always follow the river and you will never get lost.

”Mist where the hell have you been? It’s been over a week!” Ma cried as I walked back through the door. No. She could not have been right. There was no way it was more than a day or two. I could not recall sleeping more than once or twice. She must have got it all wrong.

”Ma, you must be confused” I giggled at her mishap. ”I was not gone that long; besides I was doing important work! ” I held out my basket to show her just exactly what I found. She would understand then. Understand the importance of my absence and the importance of my adventure. Looking up, I saw a confused expression. An expression that was not warranted in this time. She was supposed to share my enthusiasm, my joy. Why was she not basking in the moment? How could she not understand what I showed her?

”What am I looking at? Did you really disappear for that long just to collects some feathers and rocks?” Her voice rang of disappointment and concern. She looked down on my finds, unable to appreciate the beauty of the truth. Her mind was closed off and she was unable to truly open her eyes . I needed to make her see. She needed to understand.

”Look again!” frustration taking over my voice. I desperately held out the basket for her in the hopes a second sighting would be clearer. Her expression did not change, and anger bubbled up inside of me. ”How can you not see it! It’s all right here, the answers are in my basket!” I screamed stomping my foot on the ground. ”Don’t be so stupid! It is all right there!” arms flailing to get her to look past the human façade of the objects. Tears of anger building up under my eyelids. I felt two arms wrap around me trying to get me to stay still. I struggled; I fought back against my fathers restraining embrace. ”Let me go! Let me go!”

***

I knocked back shot number six or seven of night four or five of my bender. The past month I have learned the ins and outs of district nine’s party scene. I was at the fine age of twenty-three, too young to be a proper adult and too old to be a kid anymore. It was a time of self-discovery and self-indulgence.

Tight little black dresses clinged to my pale skin as I roamed the streets at night looking for the next thing to keep me alive. I was here for anything, new friends, dancing the night away, a bar fight or even a stranger to keep me warm at the end of the night. Especially a stranger to keep me warm, that is always how the night ended. The validation of being wanted only confirmed what I already knew. I was special, something close to a god, indestructible in my own nature.

When the morning came and the sun would rise, I would be making my way back home. A little house at the edge of the district, the only thing I was able to afford with my ever-switching employment. It was not much, but it was mine and it served me well. Breathing in the fresh air with the morning mist while holding my high heeled shoes in one hand. The life of wild nights, never knowing what would happen next. Adventures one could not imagine in their wildest dreams. The life of excitement fit for kings and queens; poverty would not hold me back from experiencing all the joys the world had to offer.

I was full of life and ready to embrace whatever mysterious event the world would throw at me next.