New perspectives //Flynn&Tigs [pre 94th]

Flynn trails off as if there is not much time to spare giving an almost rehearsed speech. It lacks passion, it lacks any kind of interest. I get it, he is a doctor and victor amongst other things. There is probably a long list of things he would much rather be doing with his time.

I scurry along behind him, listening as he goes on about NERVAlink. A term that echoed in whispers along the halls of the tent city hospital in nine. Rumor has it that the shiny new peacekeeper treatment center staffed with the best of the best they could recruit had an all-access pass to their technology. Seeing the firm’s work up close and in person was a new ballgame. The AI nurse that would have made my job and my experience void hovered in front of me.

My jaw dropped and a smile formed, that was the only appropriate reaction despite my mixed feelings towards the technology.

There was no denying how impressive it was, but it also robbed medicine of its humanity in a sense. The nurses and the doctors back at home know everything there is to know about a patient. Sure, we had the paper charts and files to keep us informed but there was an element of tight nit community knowledge you could not replace. The ins and outs of everyone’s business that aided in being able to set up a treatment plan that would fit into the life the patient led. Knowing the history leading to the ability to provide the perfect pastoral care as a volunteer nurse. It also meant that the fatal and heartbreaking cases left a wound uncurable by modern medicine. It was all too common to see the doctors and nurses self-medicate after a rough day. The doctors back home warned me that personal attachments to patients had to be a thought of the past if I were going to make it in the industry. There was a time and place for emotions, sadly they could be the end of my career if I ever got that far in the first place.

Artificial intelligence would just have to be something I needed to become accustomed to, this was the big leagues now.

Flynn went on about the next stops on the tour, the canteen and break rooms. He seemed just excited as I was about the destinations. The way he indicated that we were meant to go there next left me thinking there was hope I could have an influence on what we visited next. He ought to know that the tour seemed to be a formality. Show the poor girl from nine what she could have but probably will not because there are only so many charity cases the hospital can take on. If I could show that there was more to me than a nervous wide eye hopeful then I would stand out. I teetered back and forth on my heels for a second with my arms folded across my chest.

The words that came out of my mouth next would either have me labelled as a problem and kicked out back to nine faster than I could apologize or would make the impression I needed to make.

”Nurse Haven, where is the medical research library?” I questioned with a mischievous grin on my face as I turned around to face my tour guide.
”We have a canteen and a breakroom back at nine.” I began to explain, ”We don’t have a library of any sorts, well except the community one I started. If I were to come study here, we both know that I would have a lot more to prove than anyone from six or the higher districts. I would not be caught dead in the break room because any break I would have would be spent researching and studying.”

It was the harsh truth, something I learned at my fancy school. The girl from the ghetto had to prove everyday that she belonged amongst the fancy peacekeeper children and their fancy education. Hard work did not put me off and the school library was where I made my friends, the ones who wanted to see me succeed because they saw how hard I worked. The ones willing to help me. There would be nothing different about my situation here.

”Afterwards you can show me the labs, maybe an operating room and…and the psych ward.” although my words were formed as demands, my tone remained respectful. I was going to fight to get what I wanted but I still knew my place in the whole ordeal.

My jaw dropped as Flynn handed me the table, all sense of confidence I had was diminished. It was almost dumbfoundedly stupid of me to assume I could come in here and have even the slightest clue how things operated. The tablet just proved that I was in out my depths, and yet it sparked a whole new world of what ifs.

My finger scrolled through the online library that Flynn kindly pulled up display. The array of books on this thing was more than my mind could fathom. I was swept into the world of medicine without ever having to move an inch. Were all students given a tablet such as this? Could I just access any information I wanted at the swipe of my hand? This power, this knowledge was beyond my wildest of dreams. The technology all of a sudden seemed more interesting, AI nurses were cool and all but this…this was something from the depths of my wildest dreams.

”I don’t need to see the server rooms, I would not know what to do with them anyway” I speak in utter disbelief, my face still glued to the electronic treasure chest of knowledge. I type away in the search function for any information I could find on childhood trauma and hallucinations, something that would help explain my mother’s condition. If I were going to have this short all access pass, I was going to reap it for all it’s benefits.

”Adverse childhood events and psychosis in bipolar affective disorder”

Before I could start reading, Flynn has already moved on and did not seem to notice that I fell behind. I make a mental note of the paper and quickly hurry after him hoping he did not notice my lack of attention to whatever he was going on about.

I catch up to him just in time to hear his question, of course he was interested in emergency medicine. That made perfect sense as a victor, possibly the ever-lasting trauma of the games leading to a need to always be prepared. Prepared for any kind of emergency almost in a similar matter to the people in my neighborhood. We had quick fixes and the ability to minimalize damage as efficiently as possible. The mind to use whatever we had to mend a broken bone or stitch up a wound. There was nothing fancy about emergency medicine, it was the ability to utilize what you had. At least that was my perception, I am sure here it had a whole new meaning. Everything here had an entirely new definition than I was used to.

”Psychiatry!” I proclaim without even a hesitation. A field almost unheard of in nine, but something we were in dire need of. ”My mom, well she’s sick, my uncle said when she lost her twin in the games her mind split in two. Doctors back home call it bipolar, I’m guessing you’ve heard of it. ” I had to take care of mom all my life, Icarus helped out before the resentment grew too strong. I, on the other hand, was inspired. It made me curious about the way people function and why they do what they do. ”Raising my mother made me realize how important mental health is and that we need to take care of our brain just as much as the rest of our body. So much goes on up there and yet it feels like it is always overlooked.”

Something about psychiatry seems to set Flynn off a little bit. The unsettling laugh and the dark humor resembles the very same behavior I see in my own brother when I try and address his own battles with depression. Deflection with ill disguised remarks that would seem tasteless to some but also the only way to cope with one’s own misery. Personally, I preferred the method of shoving everything down so deep and occupying yourself with so much work that you do not have even a second to spare for your own thoughts.

If you keep on moving, none of your ghosts can catch up to you. If you were constantly occupying yourself with everyone else’s problems, the hauntings would eventually come to a halt.

I smiled ever so slightly at the tapping of his temple; it was safe to jump to the conclusion that he belonged to the eighty percent of the workforce that struggled but I would almost be bold enough to assume that his struggles were not an occupational hazard of his hospital job. ”Are there even still human psychiatrists here or have they also been replaced with the shiny AI technology that seems to know everything?” I joked hoping to lighten the mood. A part of me wanted to ask Flynn about his own demons, I wanted to get an inside exclusive tour of the inner workings of the victor’s brain. Not just for my own curiosity, but because it was painfully obvious that he needed the help. You did not need a medical degree or fancy training to recognize when someone was suffering.

He held the door to the surgical wing open as he continued to talk, and I followed only once again half listening as I took in the busy surgical wing we just stepped into. Flashy lights and bright colors seemed to indicate the way around, it seemed like a show of some sorts. There were no patients bleeding in corners whilst they sat on the floor waiting for anyone to become available to help. There was chipped paint tearing off the walls or buckets catching the rainwater that dripped through the cracks of the ceiling. It felt so shiny and new, a glorious display of the development of the district and its industry.

”You don’t need to apologize, it’s not your fault.” the words escape my lips as a default response for anyone who expressed their sorrows for my mother’s condition. I never knew any better, I never knew any different. It was tough but it made me who I was, people’s condolences and apologies were not going to change anything. The only apology necessary was from the capitol itself. They were responsible for my uncle’s death, and they were responsible for the poverty we found ourselves in. They were responsible for the lack of access we had to the proper medication. ”Whatever I find out here will be more than I would ever find out in nine, I doubt cutting into a dead person’s brain would give me any answers on my mother’s condition, but I would not necessarily be opposed to a trip to the morgue. I am here for the full experience after all, show me all the sites.” I laughed.

Flynn held out his hand and I remembered I still had the tablet in my own palm. It was nice to have access to everything whilst it lasted, even if I did not use it much. I handed him back the tablet with the article still on display as I tried to think of a procedure I wanted to see. I have seen the occasional makeshift emergency surgeries like appendectomies back at home, maybe it was time for something a little bit out of my league. Something we would not get at home because no one would be able to afford it. ”Is there any plastic surgeries, maybe something reconstructive? If I am being honest, I would just like to see some people involved in the actual medicine while I am here” I shrugged giving him my answer and the tablet.

I was actually beginning to enjoy the tour; Flynn was a lot more willing to actually entertain my interests than probably any other tour guide I could have gotten. Any of the older doctors would have dismissed me in a heartbeat and I would not know what to do with the younger generation brainwashed by the idea that medicine could be practiced through technology. I laugh a little at Flynn’s candidness, he doesn’t hold back his already well-known opinion and he does not exactly sugar coat anything for me either. I was thankful for all of it, it gave me a sense that I did not need to put on a mask and play a role to make a good impression. I was almost comfortable with who I was in this setting.

”They would almost most definitely harvest the information and sell it to the capitol. Just another way they could make our lives even more of a living hell”, if he was not going to hide his distaste then why should I? The government never did a damn good thing for my family and me. We got thrown to wolves and were torn to shreds. It was high time that something positive happened to us, and I was going to make that happen. Not with the help from the capitol, not with any of their fancy technology. Just me.

My eyes widen at the prospect of skin and limbs growing in the lab. I must seem to be impressed with almost everything that was going on here. I mean there was no hiding the fact that I was, who wouldn’t be. In matter of a day, I went through wooden prosthetics if someone was lucky to being able to see a procedure with home grown skin. I think of my neighbors, the ones with burn scars from the days where the majority of the district worked in factories. As a kid scared of the people who had suffered the consequences of the old industry, my brother was the one who taught me that they were not the monsters under my bed. They were the victims of the real enemy, the ones who took away everything.

”But you can grow limbs right?” what a stupid question, of course they could probably grow limbs, hell I would not have been surprised if they could also grow organs. The idea of an entire new human body being produced right in the lab piece by piece was not exactly far fetched from what I have seen yet it felt like it was a possibility from an entirely different reality.

This place was an entirely different reality.

We continue walking towards the direction of the operating room to observe the plastic case. Flynn apologizing about the lack of psychiatric cases and wondering when I had to be returned for my interview. ”Hey don’t apologies, I mean this in the most respectful way possible but what better psychiatric case than a victor?” I shrugged offering him a sheepish smile, praying in my mind that I did not completely overstep a boundary. This had been fun so far; I did not want to ruin it just yet. ”My interview is at four, so we should still have a bit of time to check out all the interesting things!” I hastily moved passed my last comment giving him the opportunity to completely ignore what I said, ever so slightly hoping he wouldn’t.