why is your life traumatic? { jimmy/emerson }

why is your life traumatic? { jimmy/emerson } Oct 15, 2023 10:06:45 GMT -5

Post by d7f amber bosch 🌿 tris on Oct 15, 2023 10:06:45 GMT -5

When Emerson hears that his next partner is going to be one half of the unfortunate Garner duo, he would be lying if he said the idea didn't intrigue him. The familiarity calls to him, the chance to meet one of the few people who can actually understand the circumstances of his tragedy.

Watching a family member endure the horror of the Games is its own separate, terrible thing, but witnessing that terror and then being tasked with facing it is a cruel punishment. It is an executioner's blade balanced against his unsplit neck, the steel already slick with blood. Sometimes, in the peace and quiet of his own mind, the fear clings to him like briars, roots deep in his earth. He remembers the first time he watched a younger version of his grandfather cut a coin out of a dying boy's throat. So red, so gold, but nowhere near as inspiring as the sunrise.

It doesn't make him feel ashamed to admit he had to be consoled by his father that night. The nightmares that followed the experience were as awful as they were vivid, and they still haven't left him completely. Given his lineage, he's not sure they ever will.

After that, he watched his grandmother's Games, and then Saffron's, until finally all that was left for him to catch up on were the awful endings of his family members that didn't make it out alive. This whole ordeal feels very full-circle, in the way that the thing he has always been most afraid of is slowly but steadily coming to life all around him. He knows that the only people who can wholeheartedly understand his situation are his brother and sister, but they are miles away, standing on the edge of a life where he is still the big brother, the eldest. If he dies here, the entire structure of their lives will be altered forever.

That thought unsettles him, so he focuses his attention on Jimmy, offering a polite smile as he joins the younger boy at the table and takes a seat. "Nice to meet you," he starts, aware of the tension that sparks between them, the questions that must go unasked. Or, at least it had been his own perception that actually talking about their trauma would be restricted territory. The other tribute surprises him with his candor, not interested in the little facts where he can ask for one big truth.

"What's the most disappointing experience in your life, Emberstatt?"

He hates that he has to consider the question deeply. His brow furrows in thought, considering just saying 'being reaped' and being done with it, but he knows he has to be a little more interesting and original than that. No one wants to know about the tragedy they can see clear as day. "Uh, I did a battle of the bands concert when I was thirteen, and I wasn't as ready for it as I thought I was. My friends and I got third place, and I was really beaten up about it." He considers making a comment about how you can't win them all, but then he realizes that in a matter of weeks, one of them could be a victor and the other will be a loser. It doesn't seem right to chance fate.

Thinking about the question he wants to ask in return, he decides that anything must be fair game. Aren't disappointment and sadness sister spirits? "How are you handling all of this? Being related to someone who went into the arena and made it out alive, I mean."

^{{ fox }}