NOWLES & YALE: WITCH HUNTERS
Jan 1, 2024 21:51:03 GMT -5
Post by calla on Jan 1, 2024 21:51:03 GMT -5
Picture this - Sal & Kade & Nowles & Yale enter the forest, but only Sal & Kade exit.
Or at least that's what I think happened. I was twelve. I was on some other shit.
And yeah, maybe Yale and I were kinda kicking around even though Dad told us not to wander off, but it was mostly Yale's fault, okay?? He tried to stick a worm down the back of my dress and so I tried to punch him in the nose and before we knew it we were off the path. Yale's big head was blocking the sun so I couldn't even triangulate our position or whatever.
Anyway, we ended up wandering. Dad's kinda famous for walking in circles, so we figured if we just did the same we'd meet up at some point. But you probably know how the story goes - the candy house, the witch, the oven.
Yeah. That was us.
Shanked that bitch.
Now it's a business, Nowles & Yale: Witch Hunters.
BADASS!
And baby, it's huntin' time.
Peak rush is usually around the autumn equinox. Something about the witches get real witchy around then. The amount of pigeons we get with the classic oh please help oh we're being magicked please save us we need youuu-
Well, let's just say it puts the food on the table.
Except maybe don't say that to Yale. He's still sensitive about that first witch bitch trying to sweeten him up so she could uh, you know, eat him. Poor guy can't even look at chocolate anymore.
Speaking of!
We round the corner of some redwoods, I've got Sweetums slung over my shoulder - world's most precious flamethrower - ready to go, and there's the hit. It's a pretty typical candy house. Chocolate bark shingles. Liquorice eaves. Lollipop doorknob.
No one's original anymore.
I grin at Yale. These ones are always the best. They see a couple of cute little kids and go all sappy before they recognize the danger of the weapons we're toting around.
"Should we knock?"
