★--Automatons--★ [Man.; Day 7]

Lemon tree very pretty
And the lemon flower is sweet
But the fruit of the poor lemon
Is impossible to eat.

I killed Luyu Nimmons. I killed Luyu Nimmons. Ha ha. I killed Luyu Nimmons. All my breathing comes out fast and shallow. I remains stationary for over a minute as I stare at the dead body of Luyu Nimmons on the floor before me.

Ha ha, I killed Luyu Nimmons. But she can't be dead. How could she be dead?

Because I killed her of course.

But I couldn't kill her. That's impossible. No I couldn't have... No, that's not possible. I can't possibly have killed her. I'm aware of a deep slash of pain on my head and for a moment the world is dizzy. I turn and remember the other killer who was accompanying Luyu in this fight.

"I killed Luyu Nimmons." Unbidden, the words slip through my lips. I didn't cry I didn't scream. I didn't collapse, I didn't got into hysterics. I stood impassive as truth sinks it's evil claws into my brain.

I look at the girl who attacked me. She has it right. I should die. I deserve to die. More than anything. I'm a worthless slutty, good for nothing bastard who deserves nothing but eternal torchure. Death is too good for me.

But that's wrong. All this time I've been geared towards living and now I'm supposed to turn all the way around and die? No that's not right. I turn to flee, but it doesn't quite happen. I'm stuck. It seems my feet have taken root in the ground. I try to swallow but it doesn't happen. What's going on?

I can't leave! I've forgotten Hatches. How could I forget him? I look around to where he was lying and find that he's no longer there. I'm shocked at his disappearance, so shocked I almost forget about the atrocity I just committed.

I look around and find that Hatches is right next to me. I've never noticed exactly how wide his grin is, and exactly how evil looking. How magnificent his pumpkin head is.

I can't speak though. My throat is still stuck. I don't know what's going on with me, but I can't do anything. I notice, though, that Hatches can. He moves forward and pushes me over The world moves sideways and my head hits the ground hard.

Hatches hit me? Hatches push me over? That's not supposed to happen. We're supposed to be together. Forever. We're fiancees. We were going to marry. What's happened now.

Before I can move again, Hatches comes over me and stifles one of my cries by taking his straw filled hands and wrapping them around my neck, blocking my air tunnel.

"No... stop," I cry in a strained voice. I can't breathe. I was suffocating, one of the worse feelings in the world. I open my mouth and gape wordlessly at the sky trying to draw a breath. My hand comes out and flails uselessly and Hatches back. When I find Hatches unrelenting I stretch it out to the other girl in a plea for help.

I don't want to die. No, I do want to die. This is what you deserve, you bitch. You deserve to die the most horrid death of all. But to be betrayed to feel that awful pain in your belly when you realize you're going to die, never live again, because your loved one hates you? I don't deserve that. Oh yes I do.

NO. I'm innocent. I don't deserve any of this. Why am I in the games? Why did I volunteer? How did I get involved in this mess? I don't want to die. Not like this. Not hated by everyone around me. Not unloved and forgotten.

I suppose that's what the human being wants most. To be either admired or pity. Either way you get attention. I suppose I wanted to die pitied. I wanted to die with my family weeping around me and wishing I was still alive. But truth is cruel and I must realize now what the truth is.

None of my family will miss me. They've accepted me as a lunatic and lost to the world. I'm already dead to them, and they don't regret it. If I did win and returned to them they would not welcome me. They would not welcome the drug addict who was clutching a scarecrow as if her life depended on it. They would despise her and say she was not their daughter.

Friends? I had not true friends.

Enemies? They'll rejoice in my downfall.

Is there anyone left? Of course not. I'm alone in this cold black world. I suppose it's a good riddance I'm leaving it, right? It's a good thing I'm never going to see it again. So then why am I so desperate. Why do I so relentlessly cling to the small tendrils of life I still clutch. Why don't I let myself die?

Because I am afraid. I am afraid of what happens after death. I'm scared I will never wake up, that I will be lost in blackness forever. That there is no more hope for me. Or for that matter, anyone else in this world.

Still, that blackness would still be better than this miserable life. Look at the world around yourself. Would you want to live here? Wouldn't you prefer to be lost in peaceful blackness instead of this never ending hell that rages on the face of this planet?

Look what I did. I killed a girl. A girl I was allied with, no less. A girl I had gotten to know. And look what else I did. I promised to marry a scarecrow. And I helped kill Ocean and Will Atlas. And those animal babies. I didn't raise a finger when Luyu killed them. Maybe death is too good for me, and Hatches is just doing me a favor. He knows that death is the good way out for me.

But I don't get one ounce of comfort. I look into Hatches' eyes and I don't see love but a happy and cold vengeance. I realize then and there on my death bed of dirt and moss that Hatches was evil. He rejoiced in killing and pain. What had deluded me in the beginning.

I can no longer speak. My hand falls limply at my side. The one begging the girl Takeba to help me. She didn't help me. She's just as ruthless as the others. Every other human on this earth. Including me.

I felt life shutting it's doors on me. The black hooded figure behind me gives me a grin and I shudder. Hatches is in front of me, carefully closing the large double doors with a look smugness. Once they're closed, there's no opening them again. I'm stuck with the hooded figure behind me.

My voice is gone, but I somehow find the courage and fortitude to choke out one thing into my lover's face.

"I hate you."

And the doors shut with a clatter. The air around me is cold and I'm wishing for a jacket, but who is there to ask? The hooded figure. The one standing behind me, patiently waiting for me to turn? No, he will not give me any comforts.

I swallow, digesting what's happened to me. Enclosed in this great stone hall with a double door at the end. The door that leads back to life. I run forward desperately and claw at the handles. They don't budge.

"No," I moan. I turn around and look around me. A window maybe? But there are none. At the back of the hall all there is is a small black door looking evil and malicious. It seems to grin at me in the same way Hatches had grinned at me.

No door. No window. No way of escape. There was only one last option. Death. Or am I already dead? I must be. Hatches strangled me, didn't he? But then how am I still thinking?

"Please!" I scream in desperation.

The hooded figure watches me curiously as I let out another agonized screech. He smile again and reaches inside his cloak and pulls out a small ornate silver knife. I run forwards and grab it out of his hands.

"Thank you," I say full of relief. This knife is my savior. The one who will help me from this hole. Without further ado I plunge into my stomach. I feel nothing. No pain, no happiness. Nothing changes. I still see the cold stone hall around me and the hooded figure before me. No blood seeps from my veins.

Before me, the hooded man begins to laugh. And laugh. A cold chilling laugh that wracks my bones. I look at him in horror then I look down at the knife I had plunged into my stomach. I swallow and pull it out.

No blood. No guts. It doesn't even leave a mark in my shirt. No, the knife is just covered in lemon juice. I look at the ornately carved blade in ultimate horror. This isn't possible. There must be a way out.

I notice that upon the blade is writing. I swallow again a prickiling feeling coming up my back telling me that whatever it says, it's not good.

Eternal Damnation

The knife falls to the ground with a clatter that echos just as loudly as the hooded figure's continued laughing. With an effort I drag my eyes upwards to the hooded figure's face.

"Shall we?" he says politely.

He puts his arm around my shoulder and guides me to the small black door at the end of the hall. He opens it for me and gives me a little bow. I have no choice but to cross the threshold.

Lemon tree very pretty
And the lemon flower is sweet
But the fruit of the poor lemon
Is impossible to eat.