//Ending\\With//A\\Bang//---->[Semper|Hayley]

Ugh. I'm still trying to figure out what possesed Daddy to drag me here with him. Apparently he thought we could "spend some time together." Pfft. Please. The last time I saw him was as we were getting off the plane. Some dad I have. 

Yeah, I know he has a big-shot Capitol job. So what? I'm still a person. Really, I'm still a teenager. Only nineteen. I have needs just like any other person. I guess that's why I met them. I guess thats why I like them. Heck, I may even love them. 

"Them" is Bear and Lane. Bear Keeni. Lane Ralyks. I don't know what possesed me to hang around both of them. They were both gross and smelled kinda funny. Of course, that's because they're cannibals. Cannibals always smell weird, apparently. 

Bear Keeni. The first one. I really don't remember all the details of how and where I met him. All I remember was the hatred. Oh man, we hated each other. There were times when all I wanted to do was slap the shit out of him. Most likely, he wanted to do the same thing  There was never a real connection. Things just kind of happened. And when they happened, our lives just went on fast-forward. Somehow I ended up running into him time and time again. Running into is right. Without my shoes on, he's almost a foot taller than me. As time went on and the meetings got more frequent we learned things about each other. Some how these frequent visits turned into nights spent together. Man, those were a hell of a lot of fun. Then, I needed out. It was getting too serious. I told him I loved him so he would go away, out of my life. It didn't work. He just said it back. My first reaction was to think that it was the kuru getting to his head because I am unloveable. I was proved wrong. Again and again, I tried to make him mad, trying to get away before we were together. I wasnt quick enough. As I tried pulling away I noticed the little things. His dark brown eyes, the way I felt when I heard his voice, I realized the horrible truth. I loved him. I actually loved an actual person. That just couldn't do. 

Lane Ralyks. Different altogether when compared to Bear. I really truly hated him. Especially in the beginning. God, I hated that man! He was arrogant, selfish, and thought he could just go around threatning people. He's even slapped me before. Twice. Just the thought of him made me truly sick to my stomach. Somehow things changed. Oh hey guess what? We hooked up, too  he was frightened the whole time. It's like he thought Bear was going to come in and eat him if he caught Lane and I making out. Please, all I could do was assure him that Bear wouldn't randomly walk in. Then I got myself all messed up once more. Yet another beautiful male tells me he loves me. Of course I had to say it back. He would have left if I didn't. Somewhere in the back of my head I knew I meant it, though. After that he asked me to be his girlfriend. Couldn't turn down that offer now could I? This next part is the part where I really worry about my sanity. He told Bear he was leaving. That he was going to District Four to turn himself in. That he was done running. I realized something about myself that day. I'm not as apathetic as people say I am. I do care when I feel like it. Bear was broken. Lane was his literal other half. Oh, what about poor little old me? I came in second for both of them. Yeah, I was a hot commodity, but they were obviously together before I came into their lives and ruined them. It really was all my fault that they were feeling this way. 

I had to stop Lane and Bear before they did anything drastic. If I'd learned anything over the time I've spent with both of them, cannibals are impatient. It seemed as if I was learning something. Realizing something. I think I loved them both. OMG Bella! You can't love two people! Well, apparently you can. Just in different ways. Bear was...for lack of a better word, a sex buddy. Yeah, we did some stuff, but I never expected it to turn into something. Lane was...I still don't know. He seems like he really truly cares about me. He's willing to give up so much just to be with me. That's a new experience. Most guys just want to get the girl. That's it. When you have two people that seem like they actually love you, it becomes hard to decipher what is real and what isn't. What if one doesn't really love you, let alone like you? What if they're just trying to take advantage of you? Yeah, that's happened to me before. Guys will tell you they love you just to take advantage of that slight vulnerability. After a while, though, you start to wonder. Do they really love you? After years of experience with guys you still never know. Mostly because guys are horrible creatures, but that's besides the point. 

As I walk down the streets of the grimy district I look around at the malnourished children and the adults shot up with morphling. It's all I can do not to puke or laugh so I hurry to a house I've visted many times in my stay here. Bear's house. The one he shares with his sister. It's not too far from where I am now. I scurry along the snow covered dirt streets trying to keep warm. 

I knock on the front door but nobody answers. His little sister, who I haven't met yet, doesn't answer. Its still light out but she's not there. He's probably not expecting anyone because I wasnt supposed to come until later tonight. But the door is rarely locked unless he's out somewhere. Somewhere finding...dinner. He hadn't 'eaten' in a while, at least to the best of my knowledge. He knew I didn't like it. I try turning the knob and the door swings open on its hinges. A cold winter breeze flows through the house and there's no sound. It's empty. 

I jump at least a foot off the ground when I hear a scream of pain. No, its not pain. It sounds more like pure agony. And it's close. My heart starts beating wildly. Where did it come from? The geels on my boots make a clacking sound against the hard floor as I hurry out the back door. And then I see him by the trees bleeding profusely. Bear. 

I grip the door frame looking for something to steady myself with. He's just lying there slumped back on one of the numerous trees. Blood is quickly flowing from his side where he's holding a knife in himself. A moment later he leans over and spits crimson liquid into the formerly clean, white snow. I close my eyes and try to block out what I'm seeing. I don't know many people who have to see this kind of horrific scene in their lifetimes. I can't just stand here and do nothing. Sure, the old Izabella Ayone would've just walked away and never look back. But Bear's different. I have to help him. I'm pretty sure there's not much I can do, but something is better than nothing. 

My footprints in the thick snow show my path to him. The bloodstained snow around Bear's limp body makes me sick to my stomach. I pick up one of his arms only to have it fall back to his body. I have to get him somewhere. Anywhere. But where? Lane. He's the only one who could probably get him the help he needs. But how the hell am I supposed to drag a 6'6" monster of a person through the streets? I almost sit down in the snow but I remember that it has pools of blood. And I'd mess up my clothes. Oh, Bear, why do you do these things to yourself?

I seriously need to get him some help, but Im no assitance in that department. If I called some of Daddy's people they'd figure out where I've been and Daddy Definetly wouldnt approve. That or he just won't pay attention. There's a wheelbarrow across the road, but I'm not strong enough to push an empty wheelbarrow let alone one with a huge guy in it. Down the roads there are some guys huddled in a circle, but they look like they're doing drugs or something. Cross them off the list. But what if I could just find one normal looking person to help me out? Is that really such a difficult task? Apparently, in District Six, it is. What if I just went to find Lane? I can't just leave Bear here, though. I guess I'll just have to. 

I run back in the house, grab a blanket, run back outside, and put it over Bear. I hope nobody noticies that a half-dead guy is underneath it. Lane really can't live that far away from here. Yeah, Ive been there once, I just can't remember exactly where it is. It's a small district and most of the houses are i. The same area. Can't be too difficult, can it? Knowing my luck it probably is. 

********************

Down the street and up that path. Thats the route I take to the apartment building he lives in. As I head up the stairs, my heave heeled boots make a clomping sound, and I bet every person can hear it as my feet hit each wooden step. Around the corner and there it is. His door. I knock once more but as my fist hits the door it just swings open. I didn't have to turn the knob or anything. 

Oh damn.

Is everybody in the hellhole of a district attempting suicide today?!?! Lane's slumped in the corner with that bottle of pills in his hand. I scurry over and tug at his arm. Nothing. I tap his foot with my shoe, but still nothing. Finally, I just start kicking him. Why? Why? Why is my enyire world crashing around me today? I sit on the floor with a hollow thud and bury my head in my hands. What kind of shit have you gotten yourself into, Izabella Ayone?