Too Painful To Take (Open)

Shayden Agatu

[[ooc: Sorry for the late-ness. There's also a very minuscule amount of power-play. Shayden takes Ivan's hand and I had him pull her up. I was hoping he was planning on that anyways?]]

As she fell on the ground, Shayden felt a flash of anger. Ugh! What an awful day! Was it too much to ask for some peace and quiet? Mostly she felt unsettled in her mind, but now she had to fall to the ground too! It wasn't fair. Her life was spinning out of her control, and she couldn't stand it. Ced was ignoring her, and Aaliyah was angry with her. She couldn't keep track of what everyone was doing these days, and it was so upsetting, that Shayden felt like bursting out in fury.

But she didn't. It would be far too out of character for her, and she would feel so guilty for snapping at someone like that afterwards. It was so unlike her to act rude, and she wouldn't want to get off to a bad start with whoever had knocked her down. After all, it was also her fault.

She looked up from her place on the concrete, and saw a boy (man?) about her age. His face was a little long and pale, and dark brown hair fell down to his jaw. His eyes were a grey color Shayden found intriguing, mostly because they seemed antagonized. A tortured soul. Of course, he must be.

Shayden was good a reading people.

Although she had no clue what he may feel tortured about. So many bad things could happen to a person that could simply crush them. Shayden wished she could help him, but she didn't even know him. But helping people was pretty much what she did, and it had never been so obvious to her that someone needed help.

He was a perfect gentleman, offering her hand and asking if she was alright. Shayden smiled, all traces of anger gone, and took his hand. "I'm fine, thanks. Sorry about that, but I wasn't watching where I was going. All my fault."

Now standing, she shrugged nonchalantly. He was looking at her a little curiously, just as Shayden had scrutinized him earlier. She fidgeting, slightly uncomfortable, and tried to keep smiling, although it waned slightly. "It's a nice day, isn't it?" she asked, to start a conversation.

It indeed was a beautiful day, or so Shayden thought. The temperature had recently dropped, so it was slightly cool, and the wind blew pleasantly throughout the district. Normally, on nice Autumn days like this, Shayden had high spirits. However, it was not the case today. On Fall days when she wasn't in the best of moods, she often thought about how all of the flowers and herbs in her garden were dying, and how winter was approaching. That, in general, meant that the death toll was getting higher in the districts.

Even in their medicinal district, they couldn't save everyone. The cold caused even more sickness. Even if they did operate some of the best labs, those were meant for the Capitol. They couldn't always save their own. Shayden found it a point of sorrow. Didn't they deserve to live? It was so depressing.

She briefly wondered if this man (she had decided that he seemed too burdened to be a boy) had lost someone because of the unpleasantness the Capitol caused. She couldn't be sure, of course, but it was always a possibility. Shayden felt guilty for the discomfort she had felt earlier.

And she had thought her brother ignoring her was bad.

[[ooc: Sorry....I kinda fail. My life is so busy right now, and I don't have any all that much muse for Shayden.]]

He was trying to blame the mishap on their height difference, and it made Shayden laugh lightly, the sound ringing like a bell and then echoing as it abruptly faded away, because she felt kind of bad for laughing. It just hadn't been a good week for her or her family, and it didn't seem like the right time to joke about anything.

"I hate winter," he grumbled, probably thinking that Shayden wouldn't hear him. "It kills almost as many people as the Capitol." Shayden quirked one eyebrow. He had spoken with a particularly bitter tone. She suddenly knew with certainty that the Capitol had killed someone he loved; it was obvious to her from what he had said. Shayden's heart reached out to him, and she wondered if there was possibly anything she could do to help him.

"I'm sure whoever you lost, they're at peace right now," Shayden said, before she could bite her tongue. Stupid! Who knows, maybe he hasn't lost someone! Maybe he did, but they're an Avox! How tactless are you, Shayden?! She felt like she had just said the worst possible thing. For all she know, his lost companion had died painfully, slowly, and violently.

The Capitol did so many terrible things. They ruined the lives of so many people. The Games were going on as she thought about them, and tributes could die at any moment. And the Games were publicized. Just thinking about what went on behind closed doors made Shayden shiver violently. She had never blindly trusted the Capitol, only tolerated what they did because really, what could she do?

Nothing. There wasn't a single thing she could do to help any of the people in the Capitol who were being tortured. Shayden wasn't naive; she knew that some people were living in extreme pain because of their corrupt government. She knew that she was incredibly fortunate that she wasn't dead, that her family wasn't dead. She knew that she was selfish and self-centered to worry about her family falling apart.

But what else could she do? She didn't have control over anything. She had no influence in the laws of the country she lived in, she just lived by the laws of country. Shayden constantly wished that she could bring peace, but she couldn't. She accepted that it her hopes and wishes couldn't do anything, and neither could any of her actions, because they would get her killed if she did something wrong. She just had to deal with it.

"So...uh, what did you say your name was again?"