Waiting For The End To Come(Atoa)

It had been a long day out on the field. First Feliciano dropped the feed bucket, spilling its contents everywhere. Then Lovino whacked him upside the head when he forgot to add tomatoes in his sandwich. Then he got distracted while looking in the clouds for odd shapes, letting one of the wool lambs wander off who-knows-where.

Quitting time was long ago, and it was dark. Being the forgetful boy that he was, Feliciano had not thought to bring a torch to light the way. He was sure that the farmers had now started the evening bonfire now and were drinking and singing songs, and wished he could be there. But he promised the wool farmer that he would get the lamb back, so he went on ahead and kept searching.

It's awfully dark out, he thought as he treaded through the woods at the edge of the farm. It had been hours since he had started, and he began to wonder whether he would be able to find his way back. This would not be the first time Feliciano got lost in the woods, but he was still terrified every time he went so far the farm was no longer in view. Even though his brother could be such a bully, Feliciano hoped that Lovino would begin to worry and come find him and bring him back to the warmth and safety of the bonfire soon. Although he had the thought to stick bits of white cloth on stick in the ground so he could find his way back, it was likely that he would miss them anyways. At least the evening air is warm, he thought, tramping through the trees. It was the most terrifying on cold nights when it rained: then he would curl up under a tree and cry until Lovino found him. The tree leaves were so dense he couldn’t see the sky, and he hoped and hoped that it would please not rain.

He was starting to think of turning back when he saw it -- there! With a cry of delight, Feliciano took off after the lamb, which ran surprisingly fast, through the wooded area. Several times he tripped over roots or rocks on the ground, and each time the lamb got a little farther and a little farther. "No! Wait!" he cried out, scrambling to his feet. "Come back! I only want to take you home!"

The lamb was clearly not listening to him. It bounded a few feet further and disappeared. Panicking, Feliciano took of as fast as he could when suddenly there were no more trees or leaves, just a plain dirt road. Stumbling out of the brush, Feliciano looked left and right: there was no sign of the lamb. He groaned and leaned forward with his hands on his knees, catching his breath. Had he really just chased that stupid lamb all the way to near the edge of the district? He supposed now he should turn back and start finding his way back to the farm before the whole district sent a search party out for him and tell the farmer that the lamb had run too far. The farmer was a nice man, and would forgive him since he spent so much time and wandered such a distance trying to get it back.

Feliciano stood up straight and looked up to be greeted by the sight of thousands of stars in the sky. The sight took his breath away. Sometimes back on the farm when it was late at night, he would snuff out all the lamps he had on in the barn and look out at the sky; whenever there were stars, he wasn’t afraid of the dark. Then he would stare and stare until he fell asleep. Remembering he was supposed to be heading back, Feliciano tore his gaze away from the sky, reminding himself that that was exactly what he would do when he got back.

Now he looked left and right on the dirt road. Which way was he supposed to go? He was startled to make out small portions of the wire fence that surrounded the district. Was he really this far out? What if a Peacekeeper found him this far and thought he was trying to escape, and shot him right there and leave him to die? Feliciano shook his head. Of course that wouldn’t happen…right?

Then he saw him: someone standing a few yards off the road. Who else on earth would be this far out at such a ridiculous hour? Curious, Feliciano walked closer to see what was going on, and was startled to see that it wasn’t a man, but a boy, about as old as him. Why would a boy be out here this far? Did he loose track of some livestock and come all the way out here to chase it, too? Feliciano had the terrible feeling that was not the case.

The boy wasn’t wearing any tops, just a pair of jeans. He looked much stronger than Feliciano, with visible muscles on his arms and torso, the kind that he sometimes wished he had. Wavy locks of dirty-blond hair fell to his shoulders, the light breeze tugging at them every now and then. He was sitting and staring up at the sky. Feliciano realized with a jolt that he was standing at the edge of the chasm Lovino had told him about. "I’ll friggin’ throw you down there if you screw up one more time!" his brother had said; his threats were all empty threats and Feliciano laughed each time. But now he saw the chasm for the first time and was terrified. Of all the places in District 8 to sit and stargaze, why here where it was so dangerous?

"H-hello?" Feliciano called out at the boy. "Are you alright, sir?"

The other boy eyed Feliciano warily for a moment, then said harshly, "Go away!" Feliciano flinched; why was this boy talking like that. It felt rather mean. "There's your lamb! Go get the the damn thing and let me..."
The boy trailed off on his last sentence. Feliciano felt like there was the slightest trace of guilt on the boys face as he did so.

Then the boy took a step back and Feliciano frowned. Certainly this boy didn't plan on jumping...no, of course not. That'd be a silly thing to do! Feliciano thought. No, he mustn't jump to assumptions like that. But the fact that a boy was so far out from the District this late at night -- and by a cliff, for heaven's sake -- was much more interesting than wherever that lamb might have gone. Besides, maybe he is much nicer than he sounds.

"Um...might I ask what you're doing? It's pretty late out, and if people catch you out here it won't be very pleasant. But I don't blame you, there's a nice view of the sky out here; are you here to stargaze? It's an awful nice night to do that!" Feliciano blurted out in his usual manner, smiling.

At first the boy smiled, to Feliciano's relief, until he noticed that something was off about it. That smile sent chills down his spine, and he shivered slightly. It was the same sort of smile those Careers on TV gave when they were about to kill.

"I'm here to join someone who I had lost!" the boy screamed. Feliciano flinched, shrinking back at the sudden, violent words. The boy took a step back and he could hear pebbles falling over the edge. His head started spinning, and it was everything he could do not to hyperventilate.

Feliciano looked into the eyes of the boy. They were quite unlike anything he had ever seen; not angry or upset, like Lovino, or any kind of emotion that Feliciano could name. Of everything that had happened in his life, those eyes probably scared him the most.

So this boy indeed planned on jumping.

What was he supposed to say to something like that? He had never encountered a crazy suicidal person before. Lovino was crazy sometimes, but he was bent on threatening Feliciano's life, not his own, and even then he was never serious about it. He wished Lovino where here right now: then he could just whack this boy like he did to Feliciano whenever he started crying uncontrollably and bring his wits back about him. But that was a rather violent thing to do, and even someone as oblivious as Feliciano could tell that what this boy needed was not someone to talk to, but someone to listen.

Feliciano bit his lip. This was really starting to scare him, now. He should say something quickly, before this boy went on with what he was going to do, because that would be so sad if he died like this. This wasn't even the Games, where you had no choice; this boy has a choice. His family would cry, and Feliciano would feel terrible if he saw someone he didn't even know die in front of him. This whole thing was so terrible Feliciano thought he might burst out into tears at any moment. I have to say something to stop this! he thought. But what? What should he say??!

He looked up at the sky, praying for help, when it came. "Oh look! You can see Pegasus clearly now," he cried out, suddenly, pointing to the eastern sky. "That means the harvest is right around the corner. Do you know, Pegasus is the name for that constellation of this horse with wings -- can you imagine, a horse with wings! But I wonder why they would name it Pegasus, because that's such an odd name for a flying horse, don't you think?"

Feliciano watched the boy carefully after he finished speaking. Would taking his mind off to something else work? It seemed to, because he hadn't jumped yet. The boy closed his eyes for a moment as Feliciano waited to see what would happen next.

"In ancient Greece, Pegasus literally meant 'winged horse'," the boy said calmly, much to Feliciano's relief. "He came into existence when Percesus cut off Medusa's head. He was formed from her blood and was given as a birthday present to Heracules."

Feliciano looked up to the sky in wonder; the things that people in the old days came up with! He decided he liked the ancient Greece, whoever they were; they seemed to share his own vivid imagination.

"It's nice to see when you're about to leave this world."

Looking back to the boy, he was startled to find him breaking into tears. What that boy meant, "when you're about to leave this world" -- Feliciano felt a pang of sadness and sympathy for him. What must he have gone through, to put him to the point of no longer wanting to live? Of course, now that he was no longer bent on dying at the moment, Feliciano felt a bit better about what to do. Crazy suicidal people, he had never dealt with; but he and his brother were District 8's two biggest crybabies imaginable, and when Lovino started crying for whatever reason Felciano would always go up to him and comfort him, hug him, tell him everything's okay, just like Lovino would do for him.

So he'll do just that. The fact that he was not as scared as before intrigued him, but he pushed that thought to the back of him mind. He was no longer scared now, and that was fine; now he just had to make this boy feel safer, too. Taking slow steps as not to startle the boy, Feliciano walked up to the edge of the cliff, careful not to look down, and wrapped his arm around the boy's shoulder. He waited until the boy's sobs died down a bit. "What happened?" he asked gently, patting him on the back.