make love not war [thundy! tom! pika!]

I stroll into the room all casual-like as I drag my most prized possesion, Stabby Stabby Sword (NOSTALGIA) into the oddly-dark room. Was there a black light above? I dunno. I think I used to have one of those in my room when I was little. You know, those ones that glow purple-ish and look really cool? Yeah, those. Anyway, walking around like the Californian girl I am, I am not used to darkness. There's always sun down here, you know? Unlike poor Damen, the Canadian manboy/vampire who never sees sunlight. Just snow. But snow's cool too, I guess. Anyway, I'm in this weird room and something's probably about to go down.

DAMEN

Hey wait, isn't that Thundy? She's that really awesome person that I have a secret crush on, right? Oh and look, that's an axe. She cries out about not killing her and I shrug my shoulders in response. "I'm a lover, not a fighter." My shiny teeth wouldn't like it if I was violent towards somebody who owns a black light. Black lights are like a spotlight for my shiny teeth and me. I was just about to casually slip over towards Thundy and to flirt with my horrible Canadian charm when I felt a squeezing feeling on my arm. I'm rarely squeezed, you know, cause grabbing onto people isn't really common. I mean, Cameron did it once to me and now I repress that memory so as to avoid the horrible trauma. Surely he's scarred me for life. But this wasn't Cameron. "Woah Tom? Already trying to get some action and we haven't even been on a date yet. Sorry bud, you're not my type." But the girl who was walking towards us sure as hell was. I whistled through clenched teeth at Hannah as she approached. "Damn girl, you fine." I wanted both girls to myself. That's just how Canadian manboys roll. Tom was a roadblock. He was a variable that didn't fit into the equation. Let t represent Tom and let t equal death. Sounds good with me. After all, you can't have a triangle or a threesome with four people. That can't actually happen.

[[Tom ; Hockey Skate Knife]]
[dice=200+2000]
[Deep Gash on Left Calf - 8.0]

Oh my god that Canadian just whistled at me. I am not a piece of meat, thank you very much. I AM MORE THAN A ONE-NIGHT STAND. I stand stiffly and defensively, gripping ol' Stabby in my hands with the tightest grip possible. I mean, like, it's probably my lifeline for these next moments, because crap's about to hit the fan. That Canadian, though. I can't hurt him, he's Canadian. I have a moral obligation to protect them from harm. THEY'RE AN ENDANGERED SPECIES. And Thundy is my Washington Lover. WHAT DO I DO. Tom is my Californian buddy. I have a connection to every single one of them, what do I do. I stare at Thundy and her obvious beauty, more than mine. I guess if anyone has to win, it should be me. All the rest of these fools have to die. Yes, even Canadian Manboy. Sorry, hoser.

[attacks Thundy]
[dice=200+1000]
[Shallow Cut on Back, 4.0]

damen

That's right. I know how to use a skate, baby. After all, I am Canadian. All Canadians know how to skate because that's what we do naturally. Ice is our equivalent to pavement, you know. Oh and we pour maple syrup on everything. Even children. But we don't eat them. So yeah. That's when I saw the blade flying by me and planting itself into a random cow that was nearby. But that cow wasn't random! "Oh no! Why would you gash my calf?" My cow dropped down to the ground and I felt my energy drain. That's what I do, yo. I'm like Voldemort. I have many souls so I can't die. Unless somebody is really good at killing souls. Then I'm screwed. My attention is caught by the fight commencing between Thundy and Hannah but I shrug it off. "Girls, your brilliant eyes look amazing under the black light. Just saying."

[[Tom ; Knife]]
[dice=200+2000]
[[Miss - obviously an instakill]]