Sky of Dimonds {open}

Seeing the people on the other side of the district makes me feel like scum. Even though they live in the same district, they are slightly richer. Seeing them being able to afford things that would take me a months to afford. It hurts feeling poor compared to these slighter higher class people, but I have to remember I'm here for a reason. That reason is not to mope around.

I'm very worried about my mother. She been sick for roughly two weeks now and only has shown sign of getting worse. The sharp autumn air flying in seems to make it twice as worse. It's freezing outside everyday now, and I'm horrified by the silver wisps my breath makes in the cool air. I can only imagine how cold my mother must be even though she's wrapped in a lump of jackets and sweaters and blankets.

I brought a man who claimed he could heal my mother to our house earlier. He said the only way to cure her would be to get medicine that you couldn't get from the apothecary. I would have to bargain for a special type of drugs in the richer parts of the district. He must have known we couldn't afford that right now, for he shoved a handful of big bills into my hand. I tried to tell him I would pay him back whenever I could, but he insisted on me keeping every last dollar. I wonder why he gave me so much money. Would the drugs really cost this much money?

I can only hope I will have some money left over so I can buy some extra food, but I doubt the man would have given a stranger extra money. I really wish he could have gone and bought the drugs himself, considering I've never been anywhere near this area before. I know it is a rich place, but I still have the feeling somebody will jump out from behind a building and steal my wad of cash. I watch as people disperse from their jobs, and I grimace, remembering that even though I would be filling my lungs with smoky air, I wish I could be working instead of wasting my time in the stiff atmosphere. The sun is already starting to set, a swirl of bright oranges and yellows swimming in the air like a painting.

I'm not paying attention to where I'm going and almost run into a sign in front of a shop. I have no idea where any drug dealers would be, nor am I sure what I'm even looking for. I let out a loud sigh, a big ball of the wispy stuff floating in front of my face. All I need to do is find somebody, somebody who knows the area well enough. I ruffle my hair and push the money farther down in my pocket.

Once again I'm not looking where I'm going, and I am only able to stop when I see a flash of velvety red. Near me, a girl that looks my age, give or take a year, leans against a wall. Her coat rests in her hands, and only for a moment do I wonder why. I dare my eyes to dart over to her outfit, and spot that it is a low-cut dress. My eyes dart away, and I shift uncomfortably.

“Hey there... looking for something love...?”

Her tone is so seductive that when she flutters her eyelashes, a small sound escapes from my lips. I'm so embarrassed right now, and I know my cheeks are probably more red than the girl's hair. I wonder, though, if maybe she knows where I can get what I need. I can't describe it, though, so nothing I really say can help me.

"I um... I um... I... I... um... um, yeah. Yeah, I'm looking for something."

The girl puts her hands on her hips and raises an eyebrow. She doesn't look like the kind of person that would have what I'm looking for. Whatever it is that I'm looking for. I don't know why the strange man expected me to know what to get. I've never bought drugs before in my life.

Maybe it isn't drugs I'm looking for, but morphling. I'm not positive what it looks like, but I can assume it would be a clear fluid in a small plastic bag. I wonder if maybe she has morphling. It takes me a moment to remember that she's in a dress, and that there is no way she could conceal anything in it. Of course, she does have a coat, but she dropped that thing so quick that nothing of value could be in there.

I swear I see the girl blush for a moment. I just assume it has something to do with her hair, so I brush it off.

"And what is it you are looking for?"

Even though her tone is normal this time, I finally realize what it is that she hopes I'm looking for. The blush that was originally in my cheeks creeps back. How could I be so stupid? The low-cut dress, the coat on the ground, her tone, they all gave it away. I can't believe I over-looked these things, but then again, I'm not very observant.

She looks to the sky, and I follow her gaze. The sky is beginning to indulge itself in a velvet black curtain. A few stars begin to twinkle in the sky, and it's quite beautiful scene. The wind picks up and slams into both of us, sending a shiver down my spine. The girl is getting impatient; a frown forms on her face.

"Hurry up, I don't have all day you know."

The few times I've seen a movie from the Capitol or One that had a scene that led to... to what the girl wanted, the man would pull the woman into a kiss, and then it would just happen. I know I can't do this in the streets, even if it is at night. I search my mind for the perfect thing to say. I know I have to indicate that I know what she wants, and that I want it as well. I know if I don't answer soon, I won't get what my mother needs.

My fingers slip into the pocket that the money is in, and I let my fingers swirl around the several large bills. I know I must have enough for this girl and the drugs. I run a hand through my hair. This girl looks like she's had this planned, so she must have a place picked out, right? I just have to give her the word, and then she will take me there. I don't have to think of an elaborate answer; I just need a simple one that will do it.

"You," I whisper lightly.

I know I sound really cheesy, but it was probably the least embarrassing answer I could choke out.

She stares at me for what seems like eternity, like she's debating if I'm good enough for her or not. Finally, she smiles, tilting her head. Her red curls spill down her face. She flutters her eyelashes, and I ease up a bit, releasing the tense grip on the bills in my pocket. That's not the only weight released, though, and suddenly my hand is in hers and she's leading me down the street.

I ease up even more, actually smiling a bit. She takes the lead, which is good. I'm unfamiliar with this part of the district. The dark makes it worse, but I'm confident this girl knows where she's going. The house she plans on using is quite old. It is made of bricks, but the color is odd. The bricks are black, like the sky surrounding us. The windows are square, which isn't as abnormal as the black paint on the bricks.

The inside is completely stunning. It's filled with panel walls a bright white color and smooth marble floors. The curtains draping over the windows appear to be a rich red color, looking like they're velvet. Perhaps they are. She leads me upstairs to an equally lavish room, one with large double beds with plush, red duvets that match the curtains keeping out the moonlight.

Any sliver of confidence I gained on the way here has seemed to wane away. The house looks so expensive, and suddenly I'm doubting if I have enough for both her and the drugs. I'm not even sure why I'm doing this. I feel the bills floating in my pocket, begging for me to clench them again and walk away.

"Don't be afraid"

She smiles, sensing my uncertainty and my lack of comfort. A laugh passes through my lips, one that isn't forced. Even though she has calmed me down a bit again, I'm still a little nervous. I'm unsure of what to do. I know something I should do is pull my hand out of my pocket, so I do just that. My arm raises, my hand wanting to run through my ruffled hair, but I drop it. I've already run my hand through my hair plenty of times today.

Even though her hand in mine is the only thing really calming me, I know I have to let go of it. My fingers slowly pull away from hers. I know the next move should be to kiss her, but I'm awkward when it comes to things like girls and kissing and being romantic. I know she can sense my lack of experience. I don't want to screw this up by trying to kiss her and up with our noses bumping or our teeth clinking.

Instead of ruining this, I try to recall the picture of the room downstairs. The house was so wonderful, especially compared to my dump of wooden floorboards coming loose and the paint peeling of the wall. Nothing has ever been changed in that horror. I shake away the memory of my house and try to remember that I'm going to have fun tonight.