xx that clock keeps ticking xx [spesh!]

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∂αмєη
Capitol Resident

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xx that clock keeps ticking xx [spesh!] Nov 27, 2011 19:03:13 GMT -5

Post by ∂αмєη on Nov 27, 2011 19:03:13 GMT -5

[ calvin maclen hawke ]

61 days to live

For fuck sakes. If that machine beeps one more fucking time, I swear I will rip its mechanics out and then I'll find whoever built it and stick a cigarette down their throat. Still, it beeped once again, nearly sending me off the hospital bed and towards the mechanism that was monitoring my heart rate. It wasn't irregular or anything so I don't know why the doctors were so fucking intent on keeping track of it. I mean, it wasn't like I'd just die right in front of them. I still had plenty of time left. Just over a year, or something. That's what they said at least. Wouldn't surprise me if those ass holes decided to lie to keep me hopeful or something. Maybe they thought they could get a cure before the disease "claimed my life". Fuck man, nobody's claiming nothing. I'll die when I want to.

They say I brought this on myself. Fuck are they talking about? I mean, sure, I'm not the healthiest punk who's wandering around the streets of this shitty hell hole. But I ain't the worst either. I work out enough to keep myself fit and stuff. Enough to keep myself healthy. Or at least, I try to stay healthy. Apparently, it isn't good enough. Here I am dying of some disease and I can't even fight back. There's nothing I can do to fight back. Medical advancements haven't yet reached that stage, apparently. It's stupid, really. There are braniacs building everything and yet they can't find a way to get rid of this thing. A cure of some sort? It was bull shit, in my opinion. Everything the doctor said. I just drowned him out and thought about last night, the way that girl could dance.

"You only have 61 days left to live, Mr. Hawke. That's two months. We'd like to see you in here permanently for the last month so we can attempt to prolong your life as much as possible. There are a few programs that we can get you into that could help you with depression if you end up facing any negative thoughts. Here's a pamphlet on exactly what it's doing to your body." He rambled on even more but I tried to ignore. Two months? That was nothing. I still had a lot of the list to do. Shit shit shit shit. I thought to myself, pushing myself into a sitting position. He was still going on about what they had in mind when I flung myself forward and out the door. I stormed down the hall, ignoring him as he followed me out. And soon, I was outside.

I needed to see Nikon. I needed to go hang out at some club with him and to get as fucked up as I could. I had two months to live! That was fucking horrible! I needed to live my life now. I needed to live it now while I still could. And maybe, just maybe, there would be a way for me to live through all of this. Maybe if we somehow managed to find money we could pay for the research into curing this shit and I could find a way to live longer than two fucking months. He was supposed to meet me here in a few minutes anyways. We were going to head down to the small alley behind the hospital to finish a deal. But no, not after this. I needed a drink in my hand, some drugs in my system and a fucking bitch on my lap or something. I needed to forget about all of this.

I needed to forget that in 61 days, I'm going to be dead, man.

all I need's a whisper in a world that only shouts

Spesh
Capitol Resident

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being old af

xx that clock keeps ticking xx [spesh!] Nov 28, 2011 18:17:24 GMT -5

Post by Spesh on Nov 28, 2011 18:17:24 GMT -5

Nikon Hugo Anthony

Main~00aa72
Speaking~009d91
Sexual Thoughts~00a480
Self-Serving Thoughts~006b53
Other's Speech~00af64

Yeah, man. I know Juniors gonna die soon and all, but like, can't he chill out or something. He needs a smoke, or something like that, it would calm him down, make him happy. A drink or two would be great for him also, hell, I could use on. The click keeps ticking down and my man keeps having less time to live. I gotta spend more of it with him, right? At least that's what he says and everyone else I know says.

Man, I hate to use his white ass, but seriously, that dude gets bitches. We just pop his disease on them and boom, we got them in our beds and hour later. Shit man, who is going to be my wingman when he dies? They need to find a cure or something, otherwise he's gone. Gone like the fucking tributes from this smart town. Maybe if we were a stronger district there would have a cure. Still, I wonder where he is. Apparently he was in the hospital last I check, but I heard from my sources that he left that hellhole. I'm pretty fucking happy about that, I got some fresh stuff ready to go, I need to find my man and get this going.

He wont be far from the hospital, not that lazy ass Hawke bro. He's probably walking slow, checkin out some girls from behind. He doesn't have much time left, I can't blame him. Then I remember that I'm supposed to meet him in that alley we use, I gotta get my head straight. I start to walk at a quicker pace towards wherever the hell that ally is. My head is still in pain from last night, so the quickest way to get rid of it is to have some fun again, and who better to have it with than my bro Calvin?

So I make my way over to the alley, but I see Calvin in front of it. Not going to lie, the dude looks like a crazy dude, that's why I love him. I probably see him before he sees me, but this dude gives away nothing, he leaves me guessing most of the time. My pace doesn't change while walking over to him, going slow is just how I role, I don't have any need for speed. As soon as I get close enough, I give him a punch to the arm, I'm not the hugging type and this dude has nothing on me.

"Hey stupid, whasup?" Yeah man, it's a stupid question, we both know what is happening. He just left the hospital, the dude still has a year to live or something like that, pretty long time, I know. Gotta get some while I can, right? I'm hot enough to get girls whenever I want, but I don't have to use any skill at all with a dying Calvin. I don't mean to use him wrong or anything like that, but just saying, the bro is pretty good to have around. "I got some of that Mary Jay, where we going, bitch?" My bro will respond to that well enough, I figure. He is looking kind of down, though.

∂αмєη
Capitol Resident

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last seen Feb 25, 2016 23:49:47 GMT -5

xx that clock keeps ticking xx [spesh!] Jan 4, 2012 15:48:01 GMT -5

Post by ∂αмєη on Jan 4, 2012 15:48:01 GMT -5

[ calvin maclen hawke ]

61 days to live

Hey, it's not my fault that I was staring off into space. I didn't even hear what my bro had to say. Everything just rushed past me, almost as it would when I was high on something. Nothing reached my brain, if there even was one in my head, but I really didn't care. Nothing really mattered at the moment, to be completely honest. I was out of it and I would be for quite a while. People prepare for their death and shit, right? But it's different when you're preparing for a day that you aren't sure of. It's different when you don't know when you're going to die. Here I am, standing outside the hospital, knowing when I'm going to die. That's sick. Not a good sick either. It's horrible. It's making my stomach turn and do crazy shit. And really, I don't like it.

Nobody ever has the chance to control death. Unless you're batshit crazy and you think you have that power, there is no way to ensure when you're going to die. I can't just say, alright bitches I'm going to die on this day because I said so. No, that's not possible. You die when you die and once you die, you're dead. It's as simple as that. But it really sucks when you know that there's no way you can change it and you know when it is. 61 days. That's all I have left in my life. That isn't even a year. Two months. Exactly two months. How am I supposed to live with the knowledge that I only have two more months to live. It sucks. It's the worst fucking thing to know. And that's why Nikon can't find out. He needs to believe that I still have a year left like the doctor said last time. If he found out, I don't even know what would happen.

I open my mouth to speak but nothing really comes out. He's surely getting worried that I hadn't spoken in quite a while, but who really cares. Nikon can suck it if he has an issue. I'm just doing what's best for him because there's nothing I can do to fix myself. Was Nikon going to follow the same path? He did the same shit I did. Drinks were the same, chicks were the same, drugs were the same. If I had any disease from sex, he was sure to have it too. Would he die the same way I would if he kept on this fucked up path? I couldn't let that happen. Bros were supposed to watch out for bros. If I was going to die, who was going to make sure that he didn't drink too much. Nobody would be. Nobody liked Nikon enough to be there for him. He would never have a girl to be there if he kept up the life he was living. I couldn't let him do that to himself.

"Uh, I don't know bro. Let's just head to the club by factory E." My voice was empty. It was like I was completely out of it and there was nothing inside of me. Fuck, I needed to start drinking. With a few drinks in me, I'd forget all about what the doctor said for the night. I could have fun, you know. "I'm going to get fucked out of my mind tonight. Can you lay off a bit tonight so you can get me home? I'll owe you one, bro." Yeah, that aught to help. Maybe if I could keep him from getting too messed up, he would realize I was trying to save him. Once I was gone and dead and six feet under, maybe he'd realize that for sixty one days, I was trying to help him. That would be my goal.

Yeah, we had the list. I had plenty of things I wanted to do before I died. But there was one thing that would stand out among everything else. I wanted Nikon to be able to live. He was my brother. My family sucked. I would leave them if I had the chance. But Nikon. He was the one person who was there for me throughout anything. He was my bro and I loved him. But not in a romantic way or anything. No, that was for those District Eight guys. I loved him like a brother. And all big brothers watch over their siblings. I couldn't let him die because of the lifestyle I chose. Yeah, that would be my goal. I would save Nikon's life because there was no point in trying to save mine. I could be the hero, even if it was the last thing I did. My eyes flicked towards him as I shot a quick glance. I had to save him. Somehow.

"Let's fuck shit up." I muttered, looking forward to start walking.