The Final Goodbye [Kendall]

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"No, Paisley, you can't," I mutter into her hair, noticing the sweet smell of her shampoo. Even though it's over, and she can't change anything anyway. "It wouldn't be worth it. We'd both die, or maybe end up having to kill each other. What good would that do?" I know it doesn't matter anymore because the Reaping is over, but the fact that she had tried to volunteer still bothers me. I wouldn’t be able to forgive myself if she volunteered just so I wouldn’t be alone.

"I love you more then you will ever know. I will be so proud of who ever you turn out to be." she tells me, stroking my cheek and pushing back my dark brown hair. I can tell she's close to tears. "I love that I know I will always have you." It’s a little strange to think that only about a month ago, we weren’t anything more than best friends. Now she was telling me how much she loved me. It all happened kind of quickly. And now, only a month after I poured out my heart and told her how I felt, I was leaving.

It’s funny how little time we have to enjoy the good things.

This is the last time I will ever see her, this girl with whom I spent my childhood, and who knows, possibly the one I would have spent the rest of my life with. All foiled and ruined by the games. And what good did it do?

Paisley pulls something out of her pocket and grabs my hand, opening and closing it around the object. ”Can this be your token?” she asks. I inspect it, seeing that it’s a necklace with a little clay bird pendant on a leather string. A sparrow. It must have taken hours to make. Other people might have thought it was a dumb gift, but to me it’s beautiful. A lump forms in my throat and for a minute I forget to answer her question.

”Thanks, Paisley.” I say, not trusting my voice at the moment.

"I made it. I was going to give it to you after the reaping, but..."

I feel a flash of guilt before I remember that it’s not my fault. It’s not my fault that I was chosen in the Reaping. I still feel bad, though, for Paisley. I was supposed to meet her today after the reaping. We were going to celebrate another year of surviving the Reaping with a picnic, in the woods by a pond. She was probably expecting a nice, romantic day, where we could be alone together and away from the rest of the world for a while.

And even that was taken away from her.

I feel Paisley’s hand in mine, turning the little bird pendant so I can see its miniature belly.

I will forever hold you close.

”So you always have me,” Paisley says, folding the object up in my hands. She smiles at me sadly, her eyes meeting mine. She has the most beautiful eyes. They’re swirling pools of chocolate brown that sparkle when she laughs and turn stormy on the rare occasions when she’s angry. She sometimes tries to hide how she feels inside, but her eyes tell the truth. They always show how she feels. And now I recoognize something in them that was never there before.

Fear.

I need to cheer her up; I need to say something instead of just standing here while she says all of this heartfelt stuff. I only have a few minutes before I never see her again. And I’m not going to waste it. I have to tell her how I feel.

”Paisley,” I start, clutching the necklace in my fist and meeting her gaze. ”I want you to know that I love you, I always will, no matter what.” The lump in my throat gets bigger with every word, and I try to keep my voice from cracking. “I’ll be thinking about you, okay? Even in the arena. Just… try to be strong. For me.”

”Never forget me,” she says, a tear falling down her cheek.

“How could I?” I say seriously, wiping it off with my thumb. My arms go around her waist.

And I kiss her and I kiss her and I kiss her.



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