face it all together ~ o p e n

I wake up bleary eyed. The harsh glare of the sun breaking through the curtain blinds me. It's morning, and it is quite late in. It is a day before the reaping. All I can do is wish it won't be me. I rub my red eyes and I straighten my back. It sends a shiver down my spine, but it soon tames. A sore back is the least of my worries. When I enter the kitchen, I see my mother is just as tired as I am. Her eyes have bags under them, and she looks like a panda. I don't like her being unhappy, but I cannot guarantee happiness for her in the next few days. I just stare onwards at her, wondering how she has survived the past few brutal days upcoming to the reaping - tomorrow.

"It'll be fine. You don't need to worry. I will not be reaped. I will come home safe and sound. Then you can relax." The words I promise linger on my tongue, but I cannot say them. I cannot guarantee my fate, it will only be sealed by the name they pull from the bowl. Instead, I place my hand on my mother's shoulder, supporting her as she almost falls over. "But what if you don't? What if you don't escape? What if it's you who will be next?" I cannot answer. I place my hands in my palms and I shuffle away from her. She has me lost for words. I don't want her to realize that I am speechless, that I cannot guarantee this. But she does, and the color drains from her face.

"It'll be okay," I repeat firmly. "It will be okay!" But now she has began to sob, and instead I just sigh and walk from the room. How could she be more angry about my imminent death as I am? I am almost red-faced with burning hatred. If my name is called, and there is a high chance, I am 18 years old, then nobody could be as angry as me. No. And that is all I can really say.

I run away from my house, entering the deserted streets of District Eleven. The families are all locked inside, wondering how they'd be able to save their helpless children from the reaping. Helpless. Small, innocent children turned into merciless, murderous killers within a matter of weeks. It maddens me. Then I realize just how twisted and sickening their games are. I won't stand for this. Not ever. But I cannot help it. I am powerless against the Capitol, so I just wander around like I am just normal. The fact that I am raging, is invisible on the outside.