Broken Hearts ~{[Open]}~
Nov 26, 2010 1:55:51 GMT -5
Post by Mr. Howling on Nov 26, 2010 1:55:51 GMT -5
Kareem Sullivan
Darkness. A vivid flash of my father's drunken face. Ear piercing screams from my mother. A push, a shove, a hit. Rape. A scene I wish I could forget. A history I wish I could erase. Life isn't supposed to be this way. A human being should never have to endure what I have dealt with. Why did this happen to my family? Is it fate? Is it divine providence of a god? Or is it just human nature acting at it's worst? I'd like to think choice three. There is no greater truth I have learned than this. Humans are evil.
I sit at my desk, fingers trace the bottom of it, looking for more wood to scratch. I like the feeling of wood shavings under my fingernails. It keeps me from making eye contact with my math teacher. My teacher has learned not to call on me over the years, and I am glad we have that unspoken understanding. The classroom. Welcome to my nightmare.
She passes out the test and I breeze through it. It was a very simple test, and I knew I had nothing to worry about. I'm from District 10 after all. Why would I worry about such a trivial thing as a math test? I sigh and go back to my wood shaving. The teacher continues her lecture, and I listen to it through my thoughts, storing it somewhere in the back of my mind. Her words are unimportant at the moment. I just want class to end so I can finally go.
My wish is granted precisely fifteen minutes later, and I make a swift and quiet exit out the door. I keep my head low, and my blind eye closed.
Curse this wretched eye! Curse this wretched school! CURSE THIS WRETCHED COUNTRY!
I hate my life. I hate Panem. What's the point of loving something that is obviously wicked? Myself. Panem. Wicked. I'm no good. I'm not worth anything. My dead dad has made that very clear. The people in this district have made it clear. The Capitol has made it clear. Life is just a tangible thing nowadays. There is no such thing as value anymore. All it's about is what we want, not what's right. Revenge is what leads this terrible country. Revenge and blood. That's it. Any good thing is a rarity. Am I wrong?
No, I'm not. I'm never wrong when it comes to Panem.
I scurry out of the school house, paying no attention to the other kids running around, flirting with each other like there's no tomorrow. Disgusting. If only these girls could see what I have seen, they wouldn't be so quick to "love" someone. What a pathetic waste of intellect!
I become so angry I take my math book and beat my legs with it before finally throwing it as hard as I can at the wall. I begin to draw some attention from the other students. I quickly grab my book and continue walking. I can feel their eyes on my back, staring me down as if they know the deepest parts of my soul. I can feel their judgement weighing me down, and I begin to shed some tears as I finally escape their site. I reach a building in the shopping part of the district and slide down the outer wall, bringing my knees up to my chest and examining my semi-ruined math book.
I wipe the tears from my eyes and try to focus on other things, but the thoughts of other people controls my mind. I wish I could ponder simple things, like math, or a boy, but to my dismay, math isn't interesting and boys are pigs. Neither would work. Neither would entertain me. What boy would like a blind freak anyways? None. That's why there is no point. That and they are evil, but so am I.
Random people pass by, and I look at each and every one of them. All I see is either suffering or a perverted happiness. What the hell is wrong with these people? The parents of us kids train us and encourage the Hunger Games! They don't love us! They love death. They love the attention that they would receive if their child was a victor. They love being one of Panem's favorite districts. Blind is what they are! They can't see that the Capitol is just using them like they are using every other district. Well, not using them, more like forcing them, but this district doesn't care. Idiots. I don't need any of them. All I need is my family. These morons can "serve" their Capitol all they want! Let them die! There isn't a chance I'll be getting reaped anyways!
I throw my math book again.
I enter the market and purchase some food. I pay the clerk with the money my mother left me, keeping my head low and my eye closed, and begin walking home with my bag in my arms. As I walk, my feelings from earlier today resurface, and I once again sulk, trying to find an escape, but to my great surprise, they linger...
I hate my life...
