Justified punishment

Rowan Springer
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When all that you've tried, leaves nothing but holes inside,
It seems like you're wired, to stay here held in time,
Cause nothing seems to change, oh no.
No nothing's gonna change, at all.
.·.·.·.·.·.·.·.

He had never saw it coming.

They had been making their journey through the woods, hand in hand. They had been talking about their first kiss, how it wasn't Rowan's first, but it had been Nee's first. She had told him it was her favorite; it had been something special. When she had told him that none of the boys ever liked her, he almost interrupted, wanting to remind her that he had liked her longer than she had probably thought. He had let her continue, though, with her tales of falling hard for boys on several occasions.

It seemed that her questions had triggered it.“So come on, how long are we spending out here? We can’t be romantic runaways forever.”

He was about to tell her he didn't know. They didn't have enough supplies to last them forever. He planned on heading back when their supplies were running low. With his appetite, he knew it wouldn't take long to finish off his stash of food. Suddenly, a hovercraft had appeared over head, out of nowhere. Panicking, he had given Nee all the backpacks as quickly as possible and told her to run. Maybe if she could hide, they would only take him, but it only took five seconds to snatch up Nee. The worst part was that they were so far away from each other in the hovercraft. They bound his hands together in metal cuffs, and that's when Rowan knew how screwed he was.

The hovercraft had most likely been a search one, for it dropped off Nee in her neighborhood and then Rowan in his. For the embarrassment, for the pain, he thought. He kept glancing at his front porch, not being able to hold the image in his head long enough. His parents were propped up on the door frame, their heads titled at dangerous angles. Sunglasses had been laid over their eyes even though it was late at night. He could barely make out his brother, Oliver, in between them. His arms were snaked around his parents bodies, keeping them from falling over. Rowan knew that his parents had been filling themselves to the brim with alcohol earlier, only stopping when sleep overcame them.

Rowan knew Oliver had dragged his parents up to their bed earlier. Lately, Oliver had been so much more of a big brother than he had been. He hoped Oliver had made sure their little sister was still curled up in her bed covers. He didn't want his little sister to see the disgrace he was bringing his family.

Rowan had stopped being careful, taking long glances at his front porch. A Peacekeeper had lashed his whip out, the woven strands slapping hard against his back. The pain he was experiencing now was a pain he had never felt before. It had been too much for him, and he had blacked out.

Rowan watched his cellmate as he shook. The man seemed to be in a worse emotional state than he was. The man screamed many things that Rowan tried to censor out. The man slowly wandered over to him, and Rowan pulled his arms close to him, hiding his cuffs the best he could.

"Sorry, I got so loud."

"Uh, don't worry about it. It doesn't make a difference. Either way, we're both trapped in here for a while. It'll be hell for me if I spend these weeks, months, whatever, here in silence. Silence doesn't do me good. Messed up in the head a bit, I guess. Got something incurable."

Rowan shrugged as if he didn't care that his problem didn't have a cure. It was less noticeable now, so maybe he really didn't care. All he cared about now was that he and Nee got out of here with all their limbs still attached. He couldn't imagine what life would be like without Nee. He shuddered at the thought; his cuffs clanked together over and over, making small noises.

Rowan looked back over at the man. He looked somewhat familiar. They had never spoke before, of course. The sense of familiarity was so odd. He shook his head; it was impossible that he had seen this man before. They wouldn't put people that knew each other in the same cell, right? They would put complete and utter strangers in a cell. He decided to continue talking, though, and see if the man would say anything.

"Bloody hell, silence or no silence, I still would go insane. They've got Nee locked up right over there. Oh sorry, you probably don't know who Nee is. She's my..."

Rowan couldn't say that Nee was his girlfriend. It was too plain and simple, and she was so much more than that. He needed the right word; he needed the perfect word.

"My everything. She's my everything."

Rowan turned around so he was now facing the man he would be spending what he assumed to be quite some time. Rowan dug his elbows into his upper thighs and balled his hands into fists. He propped his head up with his fists and took a look at what he would be forced to call "home."

There was so much metal. The beds were mostly metal, the small sink was entirely metal, and the toilet was metal as well. The room was drab and depressing. There would be nothing to do for however long they were imprisoned in here. Rowan had to bite down on the inside of his cheek to keep the scream in his mouth. He would go insane within a couple of days if he wasn't given something to occupy him. Of course, there were the handcuffs, which had become his most prized possession in the past few hours. While they provided pain and suffering, toying with them keep not only his hands busy, but his mind as well.

They never kept his mind busy long enough though. When the blood would stop trickling, when the cuts would start healing, his mind would slip back to Nee. He craved Nee so much right. He wanted to feel the warmth of somebody he loved; he wanted to feel her soft lips on his. When he and Nee were reunited, he wanted to just lay down with her somewhere and hold her until one of them had to go. He just hoped that the DC wouldn't change either of them.

There was a look in this guy's eyes that said he recognized something. Rowan was glad he let his suspicions be known, for most of the time they were right.

"What district are you from? 7?"

Rowan's lips turn up in a sly smile. He nods; he knew that his cell mate had some sense of familiarity. He now knows that his time here might not be as miserable as he imagined. If he and this guy have something in common, even if it is knowing Nee, maybe something good will become of this. He sits up straighter, waiting to see what else the guy would ask.

"Why is she here...your Nee?"

"Well, we were so tired of our life back in Seven, or at least, I was. We ran away in the middle of the night. We got past the fence and we were walking through the forest when they got us. Nee's proably in deeper than that, though. Before we left, she told me she had been in the woods many times. She told me she recently came back after saving some guy..." he trails off as he is interrupted.

"A girl name Nee rescued me...."

"That... that... that was you, wasn't it?" Rowan asked in astonishment.

He shivers in excitement and in fear. When Nee had told him about the guy she had rescued, he had assumed it was some random guy that he would never meet. Boy, was he wrong.

His cellmate walked over to Rowan uneasily. He plops down next to Rowan and leans in towards him, as if he has a big secret to share.

"Is your Nee the girl, who got caught up in a fight in the woods? The one who dragged me all the way to district seven? Brown hair, petit but strong. She's got a funny accent when she talks?"

"Yes, that's her alright. I'm not sure about the funny accent part, though."

Rowan laughed; he figured that hearing people from other districts talking could sound different. His cellmate's voice was a bit different. He talked a little slower and his voice was a little deeper. He imagined he was from Ten or Eleven. Even so, how did he and Nee run into each other? Unless the district he came from was really close to Seven, it was probably pure luck.

It was more luck for the guy, though. Rowan tried to picture Nee in the forest, saving a complete stranger. He had never seen her as the healer type. Maybe he was wrong. This guy was still alive obviously. Of course, rescue could have just been taking him to a safe place.

He tured his head slightly, looking at the guy next to him. He was looking at Rowan's wrists with an odd expression on his face. Remembering what he had said earlier, he laughed and explained.

"I'm not that bad. It's not like I'm some crazy morphling addict or anything. The cuffs do me good though. I usually need something to keep my hands busy."

He looked down at his wrists; the blood had mostly dried now. He knew that soon the smell and the feel of the blood would make him woozy. Rowan stood up and walked over to what he assumed was the sink. He fumbled for the faucets in the dark. It was hard to grasp the small handles, but he finally got some cold water to flow through the tap. While the water was almost silently running, he decided to ask a question.

"So, um, how did Nee rescue you exactly?"

He managed to push the faucet back towards the wall, turning off the soothing water. He awkwardly waddled back over to the guy. Rowan sat on one of the "beds", trying to fight off sleep. He assumed it was early morning, about three or four, but he wasn't sure. A yawn popped out of his lips, trying to lure him into sleep. He stretched quickly, and then pat his face with his still cold, wet hands, trying to wake himself.

His cellmate looked around the room, as if he thought there were microphones and camers planted in the walls.

For even more caution, he lowered his voice,"My legs were cut up and broken so I would have just died out there if she hadn't come back. She dragged me all the way to your home district because it was closer than 10. We even had to use a raft and almost drowned."

A shiver was sent down Rowan's back. He tried to picture this guy and Nee together, both bleeding to death. He wondered if this was a talent Nee had, fixing people up. She had certainly fixed him up. He brought one of his trembling hands to his lips, letting his shaky fingers run over the place where Nee's lips had been what seemed like only an hour ago. He locked his hands together, trying to steady himself.

He unfolded his hands quickly, knowing it wouldn't work, and laid his head in them. Right now, he wanted nothing more than to see her right now. There wasn't enough light in the cramped hallway to squish his face up against the bars for a peek. He didn't even know if he could catch Nee's attention to look through her bars at the same time. He lifted his head up, though, at the guy's words.

"She risked everything to safe a total stranger."

He looks down at his legs and tenderly touches the spots where he had been injured. He looks back up at Rowan, the two's eyes locking.

"You got yourself a real gem."

"Yeah... I really do."

He smiled, feeling the warm blush spread all around his cheeks. He didn't try to hide it. First of all, his cell mate couldn't see it, and secondly, he was proud.

"Is she in the detention center as well? Is she okay?"

"Yes, she's in here. Right across the hall in fact." He pointed his thumb to the cell to his left."I'm assuming she's fine, but then again, I haven't seen her since we got caught."

He shrugged lightly, making it look like he didn't care. He cared so much though, but he knew if he said anything, the tears would come back and he might not be able to stop himself a second time. He chewed on his lip; just thinking about talking about Nee almost brought him to tears. He missed her so much that words couldn't even express his feelings.

He looked down at his wrists and the shiny cuffs for the umpteenth time. Now he wished the guard had taken them off him. He knew he couldn't sleep with these things, if he ever did sleep. If he did, he knew he would reopen wounds and maybe craft new ones. He tossed and turn in his sleep often, and occasionally he would even thrash about, throwing punches and kicks with closed eyes.

For now, he would have to live with it. Rowan shook away another yawn, not wanting to go to sleep. He was afraid is he slept, the next time he awoke, he and his somewhat friend would be separated. He wanted to give this guy information about Nee just as much as the guy wanted the information from him.

.·.·.·.·.·.·.·.
But everthing will be okay,
I know that it's so easy to say
.·.·.·.·.·.·.·.

Still staring at his cuffs, he let his eyelids flutter shut for a few seconds, allowing just a little bit of sleep to pass him.

"Can't you talk to her?"

"I wouldn't. Guards are stalking this section of the hall. You'd probably get hit with something."

Despite Rowan's advice, he hobbles over to the bars, pressing his face against them. His eyes shift back and forth, and he finally pushes himself away, realizing it's no use. He makes his way back over to Rowan. He pointed at the bed and asked if he could sit there. Opening his mouth, Rowan wanted to object, saying that there was another bed, but the guy sat next to him without waiting for an answer.

He scooted over, making room for the not-so-strange stranger. The guy leaned close, whispering to him once more.

"How long have you been here? Have you received any punishment or seen anybody else? I mean, I don't even know what I'm being charged for or what they are going to do to me."

"Listen, we've all been here the same amount of time. Everybody. No matter what you've done. How long we stay depends on what we've done. I obviously haven't received any punishment. I've been locked up in here with you the whole darned time. Calm down, dude. You'll be fine."

He rolled his eyes and turned so his back was shielding him from the guy. He was asking too many questions that he didn't want to answer, nor did he have the answer to them. He huffed out a sigh, sleep really starting to overtake him. He decided that once the questions stopped pouring out, he would climb over to the other bed and sleep.

"I wonder if they know who I am...they executed my brother for theft. Is that what they are going to do to us?"

"Listen, if they were going to execute us, they would have done it in the squares."

Realizing he probably didn't make his roommate, he let out a laugh before adding, "Like I said, you'll be fine. I promise." Rowan shifted, ready to climb to the next next bed, when his partner spoke again.

"Be strong. Don't give them the satisfaction of seeing you cry."

"What? I'm not crying."

Chuckling, he made his way over to the identical bed. He sighed, laying on his back, staring at the ceiling. He wasn't sure if his eyes were closed now or not, for the room was as dark as the black hole that took him away to the land of sleep. He tossed and turned throughout his sleep. He never was a sound sleeper, especially not on a metal bed with no blankets and pillows.

In his dreams were wonderful things. Dreams of his cellmate, whose name was still unknown, going back to Ten and being with his girl. Dreams of him and Nee getting out unharmed and reuniting. Dreams of his parents going sober. Dreams, dreams. Despite the circumstances, he was smiling in his sleep the whole time. He desperately clung to the dreams, hoping all would come true.

For a brief moment, though, the good times slipped away and the evil nightmares slipped in. The nightmares of him being tortured, of Nee being tortured. There were ones of him going home and Nee never coming and vise versa. There were ones of his siblings being tortured, one of his siblings having a terrible time at home without him, and within the moments of these nightmares, all hope was lost.

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If we hold tight, shadows will be lost in the light.
Oh cuz sometimes, fate and your dreams can collide
.·.·.·.·.·.·.·.

Sleep was meant to be peaceful, and obviously his mate didn't realize that. Falling off your bed and smacking against the floor wasn't something you were supposed to do while you were sleeping. Rowan's eyelids fluttered open and the sound and the sudden shaking of his bed. He groaned and flailed his arms, trying to escape the land of between being asleep and being awake. He finally woke, his head throbbing and his mouth dry.

He could have only been asleep for half an hour. He groggily moaned and flailed his arms once more, trying to beckon his cellmate to come closer.

"Now listen 'ere," he muttered, his voice coming out as if he was drunk. "I just 'anna sleep. Try not ta fall off the bed next 'ime, okay?"

Sleeping was not the only thing he wanted. He wanted to know this guy's name. After he knew that, all he wanted was sleep. The tantalizing dream he was taken from had been him and Nee; just the two of them. They had been in the vast forest at work. They had dove deep into the thickets of evergreens and pines, hiding from the world without getting arrested. The scent of pine wafted through the air as the rested against a trunk together.

Rowan had been lacing Nee's hair with flowers as they lay there when the smack of the body had woken him. He wrapped his mind around the dream, wanting to plunge back into it when he went back to sleep. He sat up slowly, waiting for the guy to crawl over. He wasn't too sure if he was anywhere near him, since now not even a trickle of light dripped through cracks in the ceiling. He ruffled his hair and croaked out, "So uhh, what's your name? Uhh... mine's Rowan, in case you were wondering."

He tried to emphasize his name, in case Nee actually was across the hall and was possibly awake. A pain shot through his chest and a small moan passed through his dry lips. He wanted to lay back down and go back to his dream. He wanted to go to any dream that could seem like reality. He reached to scratch his head and found his wrists soaked in blood. His eyes widened. He didn't realize what he had been doing in his sleep, and the sight of his now darkened wrists made him want to tear the cuffs off with his teeth.

He sighed, wanting to cleanse them again, but at the same time not wanting to get up. So he resorted to wiping them on pants, the blood spilling over his already dirty jeans. He turned away, sickened by all the blood he was losing. He wished he could the cuffs off so desperately. He wrapped the chain around a pole holding up his bed and began to tug back and forth, hoping that he could cut the chain at the least.

It wouldn't work though, of course it didn't; it was a terrible idea to begin with. All it did was produce a god-awful sound that pierced his ears. He stopped and removed the chain from the post and sat cross-legged on his bed. Sleep was forbidden now, or at least it was until he learned his cellmate's name. It still called out to him though, begging for him to succumb to the drooping eyelids and warm heat. He stayed strong though, for him, for Nee, and even for his cellmate.

He rambled on and on in his mind, as if sleep was an actual being standing next to him, draping all over him and pulling him on his back. He would be able to hear the guy's name even if his eyes were closed, right? Right. So he fell backwards swiftly, resting his head and rolling on his side. His eyelids folded down over his eyeballs and he tried to keep his ears tuned in, but once again he feel into a luxurious sleep with colorful dreams.