The pain of the past (open to all )

I come home from a long day of training in the career center. My friends and me have been doing this for 7 years now and there used to it, that sometimes I just need to go home and relax. The past hurts me, it hurts how I have no family anymore and how even though my trainer takes care of me it's not enough. I long for my parents again, for them to feed me and for them to take care of me. I hated what ever killed them, though I know that hate isn't a solution, that it will only make things worse.

I walk my normal path, thinking of the pain in my gut, how i wished it would go away, how I wished I knew what caused it. I did now it was my long past. I played with the engagement ring on my finger, wondering would I still be making the same choice if my parents were alive? I didn't know, i would never know. I walked through the market where small shops layed wondering why did the past have to hurt so much.