Wash away all the pain /// Jays+Opal

10th retro gm | paxton hayes
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Wash away all the pain /// Jays+Opal Sept 26, 2013 18:42:45 GMT -5

Post by 10th retro gm | paxton hayes on Sept 26, 2013 18:42:45 GMT -5

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The games have ended, and a victor was crowned, but it wasn't Jabber. It seems like forever ago the games ended. I want to force it out of my mind. I want to forget about the games, but the Capitol makes it impossible. It's torture that they force the victor to go to the districts for a tour. It brings back the pain as I stand in the same place I did when Jabber's name was called. The numbness that ran through my body pulses through me again as I stand waiting for the victor to be announced. I'm supposed to be happy for her, but honestly I think that's impossible. I'll never be fully happy for her. Yes, she won, but Jabber is gone forever. He was sent back to the district lifeless and cold. I don't resent her for winning as it was a fight for survival, and she survived. She came out on top, and I respect her for that, but it doesn't take away the pain.

Maybe hearing her speech will take the pain away. Don't be so stupid Storm. It'll only make the pain worse because Jabber was the first to go. Butterflies dance in my stomach as I wait for her. I want to talk to her. I want to thank her for not attacking Jabber like everyone else did, but I'm not sure how to confront her about it. I don't want to sound rude. I don't want to bring anymore pain to her life, but it's something I can't control. I don't care how much pain she has to live through because I live through the pain everyday with every breath I take. I don't hate her, but I want to hate her. I want Jabber to be standing here in her place, and I know I'm being selfish about it, but Jabber was family. He was part of my life, and now he's gone. He died for her to win. He died a death that nobody deserves, but it's the hunger games. It's part of life, and I'm supposed to accept it. I'm supposed to put a happy face on, and pretend to be happy for her when my heart is breaking.

It's going to be a long day. I just want to get this over with so I can go home. I want to go home. I don't want to be here, but it's mandatory. My heart races inside my chest. My muscles tighten with every breath I take making me feel like I'm suffocating. My breathing becomes heavy and labored. The world spins around me as I stare at the stage wishing they'd get this show on the road so I can go home. I don't want to be here. I want to be at home laying in bed crying my eyes out, but I can't cry today. I'm supposed to be happy. I'm supposed to cheer her on for her victory, but it's impossible. It's impossible to be happy anymore. I would only be happy in death. Death is the escape that's needed to heal the pain I live with, but I can't die. I'm not ready to die. Jabber wasn't ready to die, but he died a horrible death. Nobody should be forced to die at such a young age. I never cared much for the games until the past ones when my life changed forever. Part of me died when Jabber died, and that part of me will never heal.

It's a nice day outside, though. The sun is high in the sky lighting the way for everyone. A gentle breeze fills the air calming the humidity. It's not too hot, and it's not too cold, but it's just right. Despite the pain I'm feeling, I'm glad to be getting outside. I've locked myself in the room for far too long, and it's time I come out and face reality, but I never dreamed it would be this painful as I prepare myself to look at the face of the victor. Usually, it's not painful because I never lost anyone close, but today, I will look at her with pain in my eyes. Pain of the life that was sacrificed for her to win. Some things will never change. I know I'm taking it a bit better than most people would because all I want to do is thank her. I want to say thank you for not attacking him. You didn't attack him causing him to die. I hate that she won. I hate her for winning, but I don't blame her. She wanted to survive. Everyone wanted to survive, but she came out on top. She's the victor, and she deserves my respect, and I'll give her the respect she needs. Maybe she can wash away my pain.

Narration 4C4361
Thoughts A091AE
Hearing 80779B
Speech A3A3D0
Other DECDD1

OOC: Credit for this lovely header goes to Shrimp <3
Also, I know that Ani, Minie, and myself signed up for this, but I'm leaving it open for any Jay to reply if that's okay. :3

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Hafen d4 ⚓︎ minie
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Wash away all the pain /// Jays+Opal Sept 27, 2013 15:02:21 GMT -5

Post by Hafen d4 ⚓︎ minie on Sept 27, 2013 15:02:21 GMT -5

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Devil Jay

A day like this is always the worst. It is the day where everybody decides to be happy, and goes out. Happy days are the worst, I just want to snap the neck of everybody who even dares to put a stupid smile on their worthless face. The sun was sunny and I guess the sun forgot the fact that it was soon winter. I was completely miserable. I haven't seen Angle (my twin sister) the whole day, and my day was getting boring without someone to torture.

Slow places and constant sighs are the only thing that keeps me going through the district. The alley I'm walking through is completely isolated and nobody was in sight. The people obviously thought that today was some type of stay clear of Devil day. Well everyday should be a stay clear of Devil day, I was just that bad. The badness and evilness that was just perfect for me.

I know today that the victor of the last games, Opal Shor, would be here. I wanted to look her in the face, give her a smirk, then punch her lights out. Not because she won and Jabber didn't, I didn't give a damm about that. I just wanted to punch a victor in the face, because doing that will just make people even more scared of me. Then I wanted to congratulate her on getting rid of Jabber. I wanted Fawn to be there, I wanted her to cry her stupid little eyes out when I mention his name. I wanted her to feel pain.

An evil grin spread across my face. I imagined Fawn sitting there in tears, crying and screaming. I could imagine her to tell me to stop taunting her, stop saying his name. I would enjoy it, breath it in, and it would feed my need for other peoples misery forever. I would have the ultimate victory over the Jays. Nobody would ever question me, not even Mist.

Dear Mist, the one who tries to stay strong. The one who thinks that everything will be okay at the end, as long as she gets her share. Sometimes I just wonder if she was just as breakable as the rest. I wonder what her weak point would be. As if perfect timing her weak point walked by. her dear twin Storm. Could I break her, by breaking him? "Oh Storm, do be polite and say hi to your favourite cousine. It isn't polite to walk by and not say a word. I leaned myself on a tree. One arm folded and my eyes blinking innocently, what fun this could be.

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Last Edit: Sept 27, 2013 15:04:15 GMT -5 by Hafen d4 ⚓︎ minie

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cass
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Wash away all the pain /// Jays+Opal Oct 2, 2013 8:18:27 GMT -5

Post by cass on Oct 2, 2013 8:18:27 GMT -5

I stood for nothing, so I fell for everything
You held me down, but I got up
Already brushing off the dust
You hear my voice, you hear that sound
Like thunder gonna shake the ground

Opal had not known either of the tributes that had come from district nine and she was under the illusion that this place was going to be as simple as one, two, three. Open her mouth, speak and then walk away. Caramel had made it sound that simple, her sweet words flowing through her ears and making Opal’s beating heart slow to a more even, steady pace. Her body had been on full race mode after leaving district ten. Part of her wanted to go back and speak with Mace and make some sense of her bumbling, rambling words and over-active mind. She was curious to know what Mace had thought of her, was she some idiot? A puppet like the Capitolites? Or did he see her as a strong, independent girl? She was more than hoping that that was what he saw in her, it was the type of persona she had attempted to create. Well apart from the really unlady-like plummet onto the chair, and the few things she had eaten – yes it had been a few, no it had not been more than a loaf of bread, two bowls of soup and a piece of cream pie. Or had it been three pieces?

She wasn’t sure, but the food had been delightful, Mace had been eating so she had indulged herself, allowing herself to enjoy the pleasures of what she had achieved. Hopefully that had left her on better terms with the older victor. Believe it or not, but she really wanted to be friends with him. Sighing she crossed her arms, her shirt tightening ever so slightly with the strain. All these shirts were just too tight. They clung to her and when she moved her arms up they bunched up, when she moved them down it took a series of awkward shimmies to tug it back into place. And the whole time the crowd received a flash of her tanned stomach, and maybe a glimpse of a scar or two. It was hardly impressive and she hated the way the shirts sat. They were either too tight around her neck, or so loose she was sure that her boobs were going to fly out and greet the world. It was hardly a fine balance between too much and too little. And yet whenever she brought the topic up her stylist would be oh so clever and quick about changing the topic. Maybe it was because they had had a fair share of arguments about clothing, even after four districts there seemed to be a non-stop string of complaints springing to her lips. It wasn’t her fault, though. Opal just wanted to be comfortable.

To her dismay, however, the Jay family had greeted her with cold glares. She hadn’t even known Jabber, how was his death her fault? Hell she hadn’t even laid a finger on him, let alone spoken to him. The two had had no relationship whatsoever, there was no need for that gigantic family – like no, seriously, that family had more children than a rabbit, and that was honestly a pretty hard animal to compete against. When Opal had first glimpsed the extent of those people she had gasped, turning to Topaz, unable to hold back the first things that came to mind (“Hey Topaz, is it just me or does that family need breeding control?” ~~bad dum dum tisssss~~. Rightly so, Topaz had not been impressed at all, she had instead clopped her over the head before shoving her out of the train). Yet the family had asked for a personal meeting with her. What to get angry with her? To yell at her for something she hadn’t done? Part of her was already in an expectant mood, mind swirling with the endless possibilities of what was going to be said. And she was not in the mood to take shit from a family she hadn’t harmed in any single way.

Sighing heavily she stepped off of the podium and walked over to the ever expanding family before her.

ooc --

You held me down, but I got up
Get ready cause I’ve had enough
I see it all, I see it now
I got the eye of the tiger, a fighter, dancing through the fire
Cause I am a champion and you’re gonna hear me roar

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Last Edit: Oct 2, 2013 8:19:18 GMT -5 by cass

Hafen d4 ⚓︎ minie
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Wash away all the pain /// Jays+Opal Oct 3, 2013 6:44:50 GMT -5

Post by Hafen d4 ⚓︎ minie on Oct 3, 2013 6:44:50 GMT -5

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Mist Jay

OOC: I'm going to pop in with my other jay m'kay

I really don't know where to start. The games ended and Jabber was dead. The whole family except Devil was constantly in tears. I didn't know what to do with myself anymore. I wasn't the same girl that barged in the room and shook his shoulders making him promise something unpromised. We all new he was dead meat and we couldn't change anything. Could Opal have changed anything?

I knew that we were all depressed and we all wanted to have some words for Opal, but I didn't have any. I hated her because she won, and jabber didn't. I didn't give a damm if they knew each other or not. I had no business with Opal Shore, but still I was going to see her today. I was going to congratulate her on winning and for once be the only civilized person in our family.

She gave the standard speech we hear every year from the victor. It made me sick to hear how happy they are to be alive. It made me sick that there even was a winner to these games. If the capitol wanted to taint our damm souls forever with the blood others, it was okay. If we wanted something it was never okay, and it never will be. I probably looked like one of those girls that don't give a damm anymore. maybe I even become one of them. Whatever it was i'm sure Opal wouldn't be impressed with my attitude or Fawns screaming.

She walked closer to us now. I know Mama told us to behave ourselves, though she wasn't doing the best job either. I didn't know what to say, and if someone didn't say anything quickly then we would be doing this evil staring thing for a long time and that couldn't happen. "I guess I have to say congratulations on winning. I'm Mist Jay and it's definitely not a pleasure to meet you" I said holding out my hand. At least I didn't forget to bring my never present manners with me.

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10th retro gm | paxton hayes
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Wash away all the pain /// Jays+Opal Oct 3, 2013 15:09:06 GMT -5

Post by 10th retro gm | paxton hayes on Oct 3, 2013 15:09:06 GMT -5

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My heart breaks when I look at her. I don't want to talk to her. I don't want to be around her, but I have to. I want to talk to her, but I'm terrified. I'm terrified I'll say the wrong thing and make her feel worse. It's a situation I never wanted to be in. I can't change the past as much as I want to. I don't want to be here. I want to be at home. I want to be in my room hidden under my covers so I can cry myself to sleep. I can cry a river and never forget the pain that I'm feeling now. I can flood a lake with tears, but it wouldn't stop anything. "Oh Storm, do be polite and say hi to your favorite cousin. It isn't polite to walk by and not say a word." I sigh silently. Devil, my cousin. I don't want to be around her. She has a devil living within her. She's constantly bringing pain to my life, and I don't want to be around her.

"I didn't know I had a favorite cousin." I scoff as I walk on by her. I stare at Opal unsure of what to think. I don't want to be around her, but I need to talk to her. I don't want to talk to her, but I want to thank her. I don't want to thank her because she won, and Jabber is gone, but she didn't attack him. She didn't bring the pain upon him that ended his life. She deserves the thanks for not attacking him, but I still hate her. I hate her. I hate the Capitol for making this happen. I hate everyone that attacked him, but they are all dead. She's alive, and everyone else is dead, and that is a huge accomplishment for her. As much as I hate to admit it, I want to say congratulations. I don't know what to do. I want to thank her, and congratulate her, but I don't know what to say.

"I guess I have to say congratulations on winning. I'm Mist Jay and it's definitely not a pleasure to meet you" A small smile forms on my face. Mist is always one that can make me smile no matter what. She can always bring out the best in me, but this small smile doesn't do a thing to mask the pain that I'm feel everyday of my life. The pain that sits in my chest crowding my heart making my chest tight every single moment. I take a deep breath preparing myself to speak to her, but the words escape me. I'm lost on words as tears start forming in my eyes. I've never been able to speak well. I'm terrified of talking to people, but I want to talk to her. I don't care what she says to me because I'm going to be nice just like I was told. I'm going to behave, but nothing will take away the hatred I feel towards her.

"Hi, I'm Storm." I try to keep my voice calm hiding the hatred towards her, but it shakes. My heart races under my chest. My breathing picks up, but I force myself to be strong. I have to do this for Jabber. He would want me to do this, and I'm not going to let him down. I take another deep breath. "I-I-I-I just w-w-want to thank you for not attacking Jabber when several others gained up on him." I can feel the blood flowing away from my cheeks turning them bright red as I lower my gaze towards the ground unable to look at her anymore. I can't look at her because I'm on the verge of crying right in front of her. My eyes are watering, but I try to blink them away. I wish I could tell you how much I hate you. I look up at her again hoping for a positive response. I take a deep breath before I look at the ground again.

Narration 4C4361
Thoughts A091AE
Hearing 80779B
Speech A3A3D0
Other DECDD1

OOC: Credit for this lovely header goes to Shrimp <3

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lest we forget [the characters]

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Sage
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Wash away all the pain /// Jays+Opal Oct 5, 2013 17:12:03 GMT -5

Post by Sage on Oct 5, 2013 17:12:03 GMT -5

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Fawn Jay

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Thinks Someone else says says

Fawn's eyes flickered open on the morning of the Victory tour. Opal Shore, the victor of the 64th games would be in the district today and it would be her one and only chance to talk to the victor. She had stuff to say to her although she knew she shouldn't blame her for Jabber's death, she still couldn't help but feel a little bit of resentment for the new victor. She was here and he was not. She sighed, figuring that she might as well get up, there was no way she was falling asleep again. The sun was just barely peaking over the horizon, casting a soft glow on her bed. She looked at her two sisters, the two of them were sleeping soundly in their beds. She flung open her drawer, rummaging through the clothes before she found a nice skirt and a worn but in good shape shirt. She dressed before heading into the bathroom.

Looking at her reflection in the mirror. she realized she looked like absolute crap. She had dark circles under her eyes and her hair was a mess. She found her hairbrush and ran it through her hair until it was relatively smooth and tangle free. It's not her fault, she didn't attack him so I can't blame her for his death. She told herself. She left the bathroom and padded downstairs, searching for something to eat. Her stomach rumbled, reminding her that she really needed to eat something. She searched the cupboards, finding some bread that hadn't been devoured by the rest of the family and pulled down the loaf, opening it and smearing a piece with butter. She ate quickly before she heard her other siblings stirring and swiftly put the loaf away. Before anyone could come downstairs, she left the house and headed for the square.

When she arrived, she found, to her disappointment, that hardly anyone was there yet. She longed to have a conversation with the Victor in private but most likely she wouldn't get a chance to. She sighed. I guess I'll just have to be patient she told herself.

As the square started to fill up, she found her family members and joined them, waiting for Opal to make an appearance. When the Victor finally did show up, she seemed to be slightly nervous at the prospect of facing the families but other than that, she seemed relaxed. As Fawn listened to her speech, she came up with what she would say when she spoke to her. As soon as Opal's speech was done, Fawn watched as Storm approached her. "Hi, I'm Storm. I-I-I-I just w-w-want to thank you for not attacking Jabber when several others gained up on him." He said. Fawn wanted to hate the Victor but she found that she just didn't have the ability to hate her. She hadn't been one of the people who'd attacked him, it wasn't her fault. She tried to smile but it turned into more of a grimace. When she approached Opal, she hoped she didn't come off too badly. "Hello, I'm Fawn. I know this must be a little overwhelming for you and I'm sorry. I want to say thank you for not hurting him. He meant more to me than anything in the world and the fact that the Victor was not responsible for his death is comforting." She said. She wanted to hug Opal. They'd both lost people they cared about and she thought she could see something in her eyes that reminded Fawn of herself.

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