when a heart breaks [Fawn Standalone]

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Fawn Jay

I'm still alive but I'm barely breathin
just prayin to a god that I don't believe in
cuz I've got time while he's got freedom
cuz when a heart breaks no it don't break even

Fawns tears trickled down her cheeks as she laid on her bed, her head burried in her pillow. It wasn't fair. It wasn't fair for them to take him away from her so soon. She cried, her voice raw with grief, sadness, anger, and sorrow. she sniffled and curled into a ball. Pain wracked her chest as she lay there, feeling the sadness of Jabber leaving her so that he could go and die in that stupid fucking arena with 23 other kids and probably never come home to her. She hated them, the other tributes who would take him from her. She wanted them all to die and for Jabber to come home to her. She finally understood what it meant for someones heart to break because that was how she felt, as if someone had taken out her heart, stepped on it, and torn it to pieces.

She could hear her siblings knocking on the door, calling to her but she didn't want them right now, she just wanted to be alone and she wanted time to grieve for the lover she'd lost. She knew that even if Jabber did come home, he'd never be the same. He'd be haunted by what he'd seen in the arena and their relationship surely would crumble. She looked at her tear stained pillow and felt a fresh wave of grief wash over her. Why did it have to be her family who was reaped. Why couldn't it have been some other family? She wanted to bury herself in her grief and shut the world out, so that is exactly what she did. She numbed everything and everyone in her life. Unable to take any more hurt. She curled up in a ball, the tears halted, and didn't make a sound, her mind numb to all feeling. She knew it wasn't smart because she should have allowed her family to be there for her but she didn't care, her heart was in pieces and nobody could ever repair it

What am I supposed to do
when the best part of me was always you and
what am I supposed to say when I'm all choked up and you're okay
I'm falling to pieces

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