show you what it really is; chelsey
Apr 1, 2013 8:42:05 GMT -5
Post by Tattletale on Apr 1, 2013 8:42:05 GMT -5
[/b][/i] This – the blackening sky unfurling quickly, a nightmare, the screaming wind drowning out your cries for help and the waves stir, slosh, and jump in your boat until it has swallowed it whole. There’s no use looking up when all you see is the cause of devastation, and so you plunge down, blindly swimming for any chance of refuge, not before you look down into the dark abyss that has been the unceremonious funeral of a thousand unfortunate bodies. You could be one of them.
cistella marina arva
I am the antidote
I’ll suck your venom out
Show me where it really hurts
I’ll show you where it really hurtsBoundless.
Wanderer.
Lost.
I have always been deaf to the rest of their words – “you shouldn’t really be doing that” but most of all, “Cistella, be careful, you’ll drown” (they have absolutely no idea) – but some slip in quietly, like the thought of spontaneous abandon on a grey day, and you say to the world, “why not?” and the world says back: this is why.
With a contented smirk, I know for a fact that I will never be. I am the daughter of the ocean; I am the ocean’s and the ocean my own – every wave, my own blood streaming in my veins and every sand the dust that makes every particle in my bones. Boundless, wanderer, breathless, lost – that girl with flippers, fins for feet, a stumbling whirlwind without the ocean underneath her feet – and I couldn’t agree more.
We all have heard of shipwrecked tales, stories of how sailors came to be as good as dead when they hear the first note of the mermaid’s voice, singing the song of oblivion. People who seek refuge in the danger of the ocean put stones in their pockets and hope for the best – their best the definition of the worst, seawater rising up and down your throat, the sky, a faint color behind the sea, fading away as you fade. (You, whoever, child, will never know how it feels like – how it would feel like – because you embrace the water like the waves rushing up the shore.) I seek for refuge in the same place, but in the wrong way. Submerged, I take solace in it, finding a breath of life instead of cutting it off. There is a sweet sense of peace when I open my eyes and find nothing, no noise, no one else – just the darkness that goes on forever right underneath me and times that seems to stand still, light hair suspended and flying when it’s been brittle and dry on land, pale skin that burns whenever I step out but right here, it gives off something close to a glow, nothing like what I’ll ever come close by shore, already turning as dry as how I feel.
Mother and Father never come to an inkling as to what I want, and that is to spend my days by something that makes me, for once, just like everyone else. Maybe I was born wrong or backwards to want something that causes so much destruction, because it’s all about how we see things. They see the sea as a murderer, I see it as a surrogate home I never had. They both say it is beyond wrong for me to want something so far from my reach, but that’s all they ever say and it has become tiring listening to broken records that play the same old song every single day, every single waking second that I have. But as it has become tedious, the effect is almost astonishing as I find myself with a little more doubt unlike before, almost looking over to the stretch of water like it’s an endless question I’ll spend my life answering – or trying to answer. I have never been patient, at least that I know, and it only takes a second for me to pick up a pebble and send it far away then down. The ripples makes no sense to anyone but me, now it is a map, and as my eyes follow the farthest - yet faintest - ring, it reaches a rock, and in the far distance I can see a flicker.
Of what? I don't know, but I'm about to discover.
Head slowly rising up and nearer - it's a girl after all, with hair like a flickering flame of a candlelight. Fire. This is will be entertaining. "Would you care for a swim?"[/color][/justify][/blockquote]
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a n a u t h o r ' s n o t e | one step closer to rastellaaaa[/center][/size][/blockquote]
