.: won't you come back home :. [shine/sticky] Oct 18, 2013 21:53:06 GMT -5
Post by slate • d9f • zoë on Oct 18, 2013 21:53:06 GMT -5
“but there are some things, child, that you should steal. that you must steal, if you have enough love and courage in your heart. you must snatch freedom from the hands of the tyrant. you must spirit away innocent lives before they are destroyed. you must hide secret and sacred places.”
✖ - ✖ - ✖
A conundrum of options lies underneath my fingertips. They nag at me, laughing with patronising silence and frustrating hidden clues. Selecting traps for this morning's session has come back to haunt me, but the only soul that will have the ability to haunt is mine if I don't learn how to unlock them.
Secrets are Paige's thing, yet stealing is mine. And try as I might I cannot force the answers to appear in my hands as I jam pliers into a lock on the trap in-front of me. Impatience rattles me, boiling in my blood. I have to discover the secrets to unlocking it with no key, dig up what's underneath with practised patience. I'm about to give up altogether and march over to another station, but in the Hunger Games quitters don't win. They die.
For Paige, for Paige, for Paige. If there's one thought that has not wavered since I arrived here, it's that one. Every movement I make is for my sister, every morning when I wake up and haul myself out of bed, every sickly-sweet mouthful of food I shove into my mouth, every sentence of value I soak up and every smile and wave I give to the Capitolites who are so undeserving of my attention. It's all for her, everything I do. Don't quit on me, Saffron, I swear I hear her whisper. Don't quit now, please.
So I trek on. Blades slicing together and feet hammering across training equipment clatters around me. It's hard to find a quiet moment in this place, but only when I'm alone in my sleeping quarters and the night presses down as heavily as the realisation that I am going to die do I wish for the comfort of human sound. I wonder if death is unbearably quiet, and hope it at least lets me listen in on the world of the living every once in a while. Whether or not I want to hear Paige's screams when my body eventually gives in and I fall to the floor for one last time tugs me towards the latter, but any noise is better than none. It reminds me that I'm human, that a heart still beats blood through my veins and that I haven't given up yet.
"Stupid lock!" I groan, throwing it down in front of me so my hands are free to grab my hair and pull my head towards my palms. "Just open yourself!" Frustrated tears sting in the corners of my vision and threaten to foil my determined plan to be nothing but brave, so I blink them back and pick up the pliers once more. I refuse to be defeated by a silly little trap, one that in time I know will solve itself. "I just need my key" I mutter to myself, convinced that it could open anything and everything. "I need Paige to bring me my key. I need her to come find me."
Come find me, Paige, I silently beg. Bring the key to all secrets with you, too.