Hades Awaits [Cassie, DW, MR]

The night that fell upon me passed slower than the other four combined. The trees seemed bigger and the sky seemed darker. There was no comfort anywhere, from anything in the vicinity of the area. Every sound that you hadn’t noticed when you had been with others was now clear as a bell. Sleep was not going to happen, not for a while at least. The sky, which is where I had now directed my attention, was starless. You could get lost in that sky, a maze of darkness and despair, like many hearts now. Who all was grieving now? There were only nine of us left if I had counted the cannons right, and that meant fifteen grieving families, and that was only the minimal. Eight more would join them, and I had a feeling mine would be one of them. I was on my own now, what kind of chance could I possibly stand?

I had taken the powder horn gently from Shadow, and I now clutched it tightly, bringing it as close to my body as possible. It was smooth, except for the couple of scratches and nicks I was sure were from the last four days only. I had held it where Shadow had slept, against my side, his breathing soft and quiet, like everything was now. Except it didn’t feel soft anymore. The world around me felt hard and darkened, a glowing nightmare for those who don’t like the things that go bump in the night. I’m one of those people. There was absolutely no doubt in my mind that if something were to come upon me in the middle of the night, I would have no chance. I would be gone in an instant, and honestly, I wouldn’t mind. There wasn’t much left for me to do anymore, because really, Shadow had been who I was trying to protect, and now he’s gone. I don’t think I’m going to make it home, actually, I know. What chance do I have when the strong still stand?

The night continued droning on, and I thought about the last four days in extensive detail, mulling over the smallest details, the way a leaf looked, the abstract swatches of blood that littered the ground around the cornucopia. The first day had been quick, actually, the bloodbath pouring by in minutes, if even that. That had been the night I held Shadow’s sob-wrecked body, his tears soaking my tunic. The second day Hope had died, and I knew then that we were done. No matter how many people I was surrounded with, no matter how many friends I had, nothing could prevent the quickness of a kill. It was instant, and the scary thing is that there is no way to avoid it. Brendon had died quickly too, at the hands of another girl from that alliance, and all I remember is running so hard and fast that any specifics were blurry and unknown.

And then yesterday, the badgers and traps. It was easily the hardest day for us—me. The badgers had had no problem ripping roughly at my body, and after surviving that fight, I figured we’d made it to the night in safety. But the traps had proven us wrong. We had both gotten tangled up in one, but I had freed myself fairly quickly. Shadow had difficulty getting out of the first one, but on top of that, he got caught in another, and this one was much more deadly. Trying to replay the scene in my mind sent shivers down my spine, his screams of anguish louder than any noise I had ever heard. I couldn’t get too close to him, and I thought he was going to free himself, I saw his body fall limply out. I figured he had just passed out, and would wake up in a few moments, but time passed and passed, the minutes dragging on and my heart sinking lower. The pressing of my ear up against his chest brought no noise, whereas I was listening for the gentle rise and fall. I didn’t know what to do, for he was gone, and there was nothing left for me. I didn’t know whether to cry or punch myself in the face. You decided you were going to take care of him, and now look, you’ve gone and messed that up too. I finally sat beside him and did nothing else but cry. The little knot in my heart wasn’t going away, but instead it was tying tighter and tighter, suffocating my heart with each tear that fell to the earth around me. I walked over to his bag and pulled out his old powder horn. There were other things in the bag, but it seemed wrong to take them. I laid back down beside him, curled as close as I could without getting too close, the darkness enveloping us both. Just as before sleep almost took me away, I leaned over and kissed him on the forehead. Nothing could be done, and nothing could be changed

Even though the sun began to rise, my heart didn’t. In fact, as the sun continued going up, my heart kept falling down, faster and faster, the sadness filling it to the brim of overflowing. I didn’t want to leave the Orchard, but really, if I stayed there, I didn’t know which would be worse, the sight of the sprung trap or the threat of mutts or other tributes. You can’t stay here, just move on. You’ll figure it out. But somehow, I kind of doubted that. I also doubted I would see another sunrise, and I almost hoped it were true. I don’t know where I was going, and I didn’t care. Walking aimlessly was nice, and I thoroughly enjoyed taking my time. It wasn’t until the ordered rows of the Orchard began to disappear that I realized where I was headed. There were still trees, but now they were spread around, like a forest. There was something out of place about this forest though, specifically the noise coming from deep within.

I followed it, darting in and out among the trees that provided good cover. When I approached the little hollow that the noise was coming from, I realized I didn’t really know who any of these kids were. There were two boys and two girls, and staying hidden wasn’t going to do me much good. They would eventually see me, and I think that if they had to make the choice, they wouldn’t have a problem with ganging up on me. I moved around to the girl’s side, and popped up beside them, trying to show without words that I would do my best to help in any way I could.

[Sticky Washington, flail]
[dice=200+12000]
[crushed skull; x]

Shock is many things, but anticipated is not one of them. It simply goes against the nature of shock to be expecting things, so when my flail made direct contact with Sticky’s skull, I was indeed shocked. In fact, shocked didn’t begin to describe it. Wasn’t this the same way I killed the badger? Staggering backwards, I felt behind me for anything to stabilize my now shaking body. I was stumbling backwards, frantically hoping that something would stop my path of motion, and thankfully we were surrounded by trees. When the trunk collided with my back, I didn’t notice. No, my entire body was now numb, completely focused on the blood flowing by my feet.

What had this boy done to deserve what I had just done to him? I didn’t know him or recognize him, and now I never would. How did his family feel now? Did he even have a family to grieve over him? I sure hope so, he didn’t seem to be evil. I honestly think that some of the people around me deserve to die some horrible death that will leave others stricken with fear, but this boy, this seemingly innocent kid who wanted nothing more than to live—this isn’t how he should’ve gone. Was there anyone to hold him through his death?

The boy from three was still fighting, and for that I gave him credit. He was fighting an already lost battle. He had courage, but courage won’t always win the war. The girls, they seemed to almost be synchronized with their swinging and slicing through the soggy air. The cool temperatures around us were mauled by the humidity, the sweat pouring freely from all of us. I figured leaving them to their fighting was best, I mean I’d already done my part hadn’t I?

I’ve done more than enough damage to someone’s life; I shouldn’t do more.

Wasn’t I supposed to be proud? My first kill—well, besides the badger, but I don’t count him. It was merely an animal, and my job had been to kill it, so that’s what I had done. Were my actions against this kid right? Not that I could do anything about it or change anything, but I couldn’t help but question it. I didn’t even know why I was fighting or who I was fighting for, not anymore. I wasn’t fighting for myself, so, who was it now? Shadow’s gone, and all because I had messed up the one job I had. It was all my fault that I had to leave his mangled body behind in the apple orchard. There was nothing I could do to bring him back or trade places. This was just one more mistake I would have to deal with before I died, which is upsetting, because really, I’ve already made enough mistakes for a lifetime. I would’ve loved to die without making too many more. That’s really all I seemed to do, make mistakes. I’ve spent my entire life pushing people away and pretending that nothing mattered. But with life and death hanging by a thread, I realized it all mattered. Every single thing I have done, good and bad, all affected someone in some way. My choices don’t just change me, they change the ones I love and despise, and that somehow makes me accountable for everyone that stumbles into my life.

“Cole, I want to come home.” The words were incoherent and not actually words that could be understood, but I knew what they meant. Cole would know, and he hopefully still wants me to come home. I still need one person to not leave me. I am desperate for one last chance to live, just like anyone else in this arena. Nothing separates my motives from theirs, and that’s probably the scariest thing of all.

[drops nightvision goggles and walkie talkie]
[takes Sticky's longsword, 2 iodine tablets, 3 matches, and axe]