drag {me} down with {you} Elwyn's
Mar 4, 2013 5:32:28 GMT -5
Post by cass on Mar 4, 2013 5:32:28 GMT -5
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Gently, ever so gently the water would tug teasingly at my long lean limbs. It would pull and slide, gracefully slipping over each leg, each arm, over my torso and my chest. The clothes I wore were covered in dirt, it had weaved itself into the very fabric and no amount of scratching would ever remove it. It was a permanent stain. It was a simple dress; it tangled itself down towards my knees, where it was cut off abruptly, a rigid edge that looked as though it had been simply ripped. A careless hand had grasped the fabric, tearing the length down until it appeared to the eye to be more comfortable. Long dresses held no pleasure, they often disrupted each of the movements of your legs, and they destroyed the freedom of feeling. They restricted and contorted your ability to simply be free. I had hated the length, and it had reached my feet, enveloping itself into each of my steps and destroying the usual elegance that had bestowed itself upon me.
The water tickled me. It made small shivers ripple up my body. As they cold disappeared small little Goosebumps took over. The floated their way down the entire length of my body, till every inch was covered. The pond water was cold, and it stretched its fingers into my body. It seeped into each of my limbs and it froze my blood. Traces of snow still lingered over the small forest that I called my home. It was the first day since winter had ended; it was the first day that I had dared step into the icy waters. My heart, my head and my chest had ached for me to go sooner. I craved its touch, even if it killed me. Every day I tried to breathe, swallowing in lungful’s of water, and every day it would never work.
But when winter befalls the district I knew I had to stop. I knew that the only way I could die was within the waters grasp, and freezing to death was not an option. It took every bit of strength and every bit of effort that I had to not step onto the ice and watch it break beneath my bare feet. Sometimes I would tease myself by tempting fate. I would carefully edge a single foot out onto the ice. The cold would bite viciously into my skin and within seconds it would feel as though some fire was tearing into my flesh. But I would keep going, and slowly, - as though the Gods were watching and waiting - I would lower my weight onto that one foot. Leaning forwards, closer and closer to the edge of the iced pond, where everything was hidden under that thin, delicate layer of ice.
Sometimes I would never hear the sound of the ice giving away, under the weight of my foot, and it would just slip through the ice, slip through the thin glass that had only seconds ago separated me from my life. Sometimes I would hear the loud cracking as it snapped, as it fought against the weight of my foot, and even in those times I would not draw away. I would hold myself there, pushing the ice further, daring it to hold me, and pushing it to its limit. It would never hold me, it would always give way. Sometimes I would almost fall in, the black waters swaying under the broken ice, as though they wished it would happen, but I never did. Some part of me - no matter how fragile and frail it was knew that if that were to ever happen I would die. I had to learn to breathe before I died.
No matter if I did or I didn’t my foot would plunge into the water, the broken ice skittering around my ankle. Sometimes I would scream, sometimes I would cry, dragging my foot away, as the fire ripped through the skin. It hurt; it made me hurt so much to know that the water was doing this to me. But no matter how much the pain hurt, no matter how long it raged through my body, until I could warm my limbs up again I would do it again.
Lungful’s of water slipped down my throat, its ice cold touch burned the whole way down. As the seconds past my lungs began to burn, familiar, but painful. My head began to pound as though I had been kicked, and my body forcefully dragged itself away from the water, the surface that had been so still and calm, where I had laid only moments ago was now rippling, shaking. The water thrashed around my body as I fought the urge to breath in air. As my body fought against every instinct it had to just forget to breathe the air and breathe in the water. But it would not work. As the darkness crept along my vision, as the darkness seeped into my own mind and heart I give up, and I throw myself upwards. As I break the surface I suck in massive lungful’s of air. It was painful, so very painful to breathe in the sweet, sweet air and within seconds the blackness had faded from my eyes.
I still ached painfully, my head throbbing, my throat, my heart and my body ached. Furiously I kick at the water, thrashing my legs carelessly this way and that. “Stupid, stupid, stupid! ARGHHHHHHHH.” I screamed. Frustrated I slap pitifully at the water, but as always I give up after a few seconds. The water paid no heed to my cries. It ignored every curse, every outraged cry and fury filled hit. I hated it, I hated it how it would ignore me. Fuming I storm out of the pond. I was so tired of the failure that I had faced for ten years now; I was so tired of the days, upon days of trying, but never, ever receiving. It made me hurt, it made me ache painfully in my chest to know that I was always failing. All I wanted to do was breathe and be free, all I wanted to do was feel that water trickle down my lungs and not make me want to scream in agony. I just wanted to breathe.
With an empty heart I walk away from the pond, clothes soaking, hair dripping, and dirt clinging to my skin, and for once I'm too dejected to even spare it a glance.
Away from the life that you always knew
We are calling to you
Come away little light
Come away to the darkness
In the shade of the night we’ll come looking for you
[/color][/center]We are calling to you
Come away little light
Come away to the darkness
In the shade of the night we’ll come looking for you
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