{ katerina swift -- d4 -- fin }

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katerina s w i f t

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[presto]

"look at you, worrying so much about things you can't change" "you'll spend your whole life singing the blues if you keep thinking that way" The sparkler illuminated her face, edging in flickering shadows under the hollows of her sharp face. Her lips tugged at a small, trademark smile, the smile she wore when she was content and far away. This was a smile she wore often. Her starry eyed gaze seemed to have new life in them, sapphire orbs darker than usual, reflecting the navy that blanketed the sky. Normally, they were bright with the light of day dancing in the blue. And yet, at night, they seem to shine the most. Her narrow face caught the moonlight, light pooling in on her angular cheekbones and small nose. Her slender eyebrows, winging up at the edges, rested neutrally on her face. They never did move much. Worry usually never turned them up, anger never arched them down. She gave off an aura of hopes and dreams, and maybe that was because that's what she was doing, standing in the gentle ocean a stick of stars in her lacy fingers. Her wavy blonde hair tickled her halfway down her spine, tangling together like vines. The strands glowed a faint gold in the sparkler light, casting away the brown locks that stalked underneath deeper in the shadows. The waves lapped against her knobby knees, tipping her slight frame back and fourth and back again. One of her skinny arms held up the crackling light, and the other hung limp at her side. Her head, which seemed too big for her neck to hold, tipped upwards towards the sky. Her shoulders were delicate but a little wide, evidence that she hadn't grown into her height just yet. She stood up at 5'10, and though being taller than most boys somewhat annoyed her, that just mean she was closer to the sky and the stars and the moon. Her friends. Gently, she closed her eyes, and then, after a few minutes, she opened them again. Without a word slipping through her lips, she turned around and walked in, the absence of warm water leaving her slim legs cold. Her feet left impressions into the sand, sinking in between her toes and sticking to the water that seemed like glue. Opening the door to the large villa and slipping in, she tracked in the damp sand mixture with her. Without much sound, she went into her bedroom and slid open the window, and the drapes caught in the salty wind outside. She stuck the sparkler, which was starting to die, in the flowerbed that jutted out from the outside wall. She didn't dare extinguish something so sacred to her, something that represented dreams and hopes and wishes and happiness and serenity. Instead she let it stay outside until the fire burned out. And then it would become another stick that poked up from the dirt, a has been that would never be forgotten. Then she closed the window, resting her chin and arms on the sill and watched as the sparkler's fuse was used up more and more. She crawled into her bed, facing the faint glow of stars and muddying the white sheets with her feet. "don't you see the starlight?" "don't you dream impossible dreams?" My fingers carved into the sugar white sand. ( i like sugar. it's sweet. ) A curling 'k', swooping and curving, connecting to an 'a' and then a 't' and then an 'e' and then an 'r' and then an 'i' and then an 'n'  and then another 'a'. Traced in a script is my name. Katerina, Katerina, Katerina. I like my name. ( my siblings say i like everything. do you think i do? ) Maybe they have a point. But I like liking everything. Some of them can be so negative sometimes. Why can't they be cheerful? I am. Why don't they like standing beneath the stars? I do. ( what's wrong with optimism? it always puts people into a better mood ) They say me being so happy is kind of annoying, but I don't see why being happy is annoying. Being happy is... happy. Laughing and smiling, well, what is better than that? I can't think of anything better, except for maybe standing outside at night, holding my sparkler. Those nights are the best. I continue to etch words into nature's canvas. Things I wish for every night I wish the games would end The Hunger Games ( i guess i don't like everything ). The one thing that makes me sad. I don't like death or blood or cries or screams of pain. And worst of all, I am powerless except to hope for the best for every tribute that goes into the death sentence. I can't do anything else. I wish I could rush in there and save each and everyone feeling their life slowly escaping their grasp. But I can't. All I can do really is run away from the screen and try to forget the streams of scarlet pain that escaped their skin. It sends shivers down my spines when I see the cold, blank look in their eyes and the sound of the solemn cannon shot that ends a life. Father says there used to be days when children didn't live in fear or become killers, days when people were actually people. I wish for those days back, I wish that one day I will know all the stars I see Am I a dreamer? Yeah, you could call me that.    I like to wish and hope and think of things that are too good to be true. I think of music and stars and constellations. I think of being free from the Capitol's clutches, I think of all the families in our villa to share instead of compete who might take on my grandparent's fortune. Sometimes I pretend I can fly, sometimes I dance across the beach, sometimes I try to walk on water, sometimes I try to skip stones on the ocean. I know I will never do these things, but I will try. I will try and I will try and I will try. Because how do you know what you can and cannot do when you never try? Maybe one day I will. But, for now, I will believe ( even though i'm never really "now" ).  "and i said oh my, what a marvelous tune" "it was the best night, never would forget how we moved" "That's Orion." My small finger found the constellation, which was surrounded by stars. A dizzying amount of stars my little ten year old brain couldn't believe how many there were. And yet I was still able to pick up those clusters of lights that seemed to blend in so evenly with the rest of the sky. My arm wrapped around my teddy bear, because Rum Tum Tuggers was the only one who wanted to go out on my star trips. "And that's Ursa Minor, but it's usually just called the Little Dipper." And I would lift Rum Tum Tuggers up above me, staring into his beady black eyes. "It's cool, isn't it?" And my hands would make him nod. Hugging him to my chest, I would smile. My back flattened the grass underneath me, on top of a hill by the villa. It was my grandparent's villa, but all of their children lived with them. None of my aunts or uncles or my parents had a birth right; whoever produced the family of best singers would get to keep the fortune. Right now, we live in harmony. But there's competition. "The villa's big enough for everyone, Rum Tum!" I would complain. "We should just share it." And I would make him nod again and then I would be happy and start naming more constellations I learned about in the books I had discovered. "Nana! Nana, I can't find Rum Tum!" I remember tears running down my face as I ran into my grandmother's arms. And she held me close, her lips planted on my forehead. I was twelve then. I should've grown out of Rum Tum already, but it was hard to let go of such a friend. And then she would sing me the lullaby my mom would always sing to me, before she grew ill and died when I was three. "Don't you see the starlight? Don't dream impossible things?" And slowly, my crying would subdue. She told me to go take a nap and she would search for Rum Tum for me. I went to my siblings for help first, but they said it was probably better if I let go of that old teddy bear anyway. But Nana would always help me, I could trust her. So I snuggled into the white sheets, singing, "Don't you see the starlight? Don't you dream impossible things?" Trying to sound sweet like my mother. Over and over and over again. Trying to see her beyond those blue eyes and white smile that are only vague memories. Pretending that I knew her. "This is a sparkler." It was a few weeks after Rum Tum disappeared. My birthday. Nana gave me my new love that day. They mesmerized me, they made me happy. The sound, and how they only gave off the light needed. It taught me how to be more selfless. But, most of all, it taught me to dream. It taught me to hope and wish. There was just something about it that made me... new. And who knew something so little could transform me completely. Of course, I could never forget Rum Tum or how he supported me. But sparklers gave a new meaning to me. It was like having a handful of stars right at my fingertips, rather than gazing at them from so far away. It was like a dream come true. My collection of used wishes grows outside my window today, my garden of has beens that I will never forget. And, on my wrist strung to a ribbon, is one of Rum Tum's buttons I found a few days later on the floor. The Swifts are a wonderful family. A decent sized one, too. My mother died when I was three, but my father is still alive. And my siblings are fine as siblings go. I've sort of been ignored by them. I don't get in their way or nag them or annoy them except for my constant smiling I guess. I don't get into fights or side in any wars. I'm more neutral, swaying however they push me. I'm just the quiet middle child everyone outside of the villa forgets about. I'm not sure whether to be pleased with this or not. But, I am happy. And a dreamer. And a lover of the stars.      "and we were dancing, dancing, dancing" "like we're made of starlight, starlight, starlight"  [/presto]

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she said one day she'd paint all the stars in the sky