ROCK ON! Aidin Grasswood's DP of drum roll Day 2

Life is complicated. All this very time you believe Death is the end of life. This thought rises up to never be erased from your mind only after a certain event forces you to recognize this false title of Death. Most of Panem, for them, it is the realization that there is the Hunger games at age four. Exceptions include me. I never thought about death before I was reaped. Yeah I knew I could get killed in the games. I also knew if I was ever called I would die, it never consumed me like most. I was more amazed by the work I could do, and the things I could accomplish to help my family live, I to look better, and for LOVE. Love is another deceiving thing since it is a part of life, besides the point,The true pounce came when I was reaped . THOUGHTs of death, that is, hit me in the chest. I tried to cover them up like most. Sometimes I did not even have to try my face just would not let me show what I felt. I could argue however surviving past the Blood bath made me more apparent of this ever coming force. The force I kept trying to say I could overcome, then make my mind again and agreeing that it would come no matter what. My hand flashes across my face. I see the one hand still beaten off my own accord. I don't have time to sigh.

Blood gurgles in my mouth as blood spurts out of my chest. My knees start to buckle at the final blow. These are the actions that brought about my thoughts. ONE of my fingers I see flash by my face as my hands go up in the air our of instinct and slowly fall. One score. The score of one. I take it as number one for my own image. I take the twelve ounces of sweat on my face, neck, legs, and fingers as a reminder. IT reminded me of my district. Twelve. I had twelve and many more chances to get out of this alive. I did not take them. I had many chances at love, real love. I ignored them. The girl who I watched in district twelve, I knew I made it up that I ever had a chance with her. A chance of love with her. Many others wanted me. I could have taken one of them off their feet. No what I did was cheat me and those girls. I always pretended I had interest when I did not. Perhaps I did and not know, either way I should have told them how I felt instead of giving them misguided hope.

My knees fully buckled I start to fall forward. Time goes by fast when you are dying, but slow enough to think about what is life. I fell for another girl is what I am reminded of. I know probably younger, but I did. Anni dorst. I let that go with out realizing. I settled on protecting her by giving her some lessons on weapons. I did not ally her like I should have, I did not ask her to join my alliance with Keanu and thistle. No once I saw her talking with another kid. I moved on. I kept my promise but moved on. I know how stupid I am now. Protecting her was supposed to be many things. Doing what I did, allying her, and never, I do mean never putting her in a position like I did. I can tell my self I only attacked her ally, not herself. Was that better however? NO a part of me is saying worse. I made a bigger gap in her confusion. In her sorrow and split decision. She granted me mercy all the way through. I should have realized it. I want to speak as time speeds up when needed, but I was falling forward faster. There was no time to say sorry. A part of me knew it was my own personal gain to say sorry, to get my morals clear, and un fogged. A part of me knew that the damage haves already been done, and sorry could make me in debt of another one which would not come. So time saved me with that. It saved me making another bad decision. Another bad decision on love and everything.

My knees. They started to scratch the sand. My eyes start to close. I was ready for the impact of the sand. I expected it to hurt, but I knew it will be less painful since it was sand. I start paying attention as I continue to fall of my environment. I know I have said and thought that this was an awful place to die, but was it really? Was it any worse than district twelve. I hear the water rising up on the beach. Some bird mutts chirping. No it was better than district twelve. I will not have to see my parents die first, or my kids go in the games later on, I had a beautiful place to die, even if it was a fake one. I was dying with those not cut out to kill because they like it, or want it. NO I was with those who had to. Could I blame them if they also killed me because they had to? The answer to that is yes, but I won't. I was never cut out for this world anyways. I had too much of an ego, but with too much of a heart. I was virtually split in two in a world that was already mixed up with its two halves. Flower pedals sway past my head as I fall to the sand.

The sting is quick, fast, hurtful, but relieving. A part of me already starts to realize what is coming next. AS I feel my chest press up against the sand. The grit scratches my open wound. People say you know when death is coming. People say it is painful, people also say it is painless. Contradictions is what makes it all wrong. It is both Painful, and painless. You feel pain, but it feels like nothing in the whole scheme of things when you know where you are going. What people say about death. Now that is where people are completely wrong. You don't know when death is coming, because it never comes. My breathing starts to slow. I can already feel the inner part of who I am being ripped from my outer torn part. I can gently see where my closest part of my body on the sand is and where my shallow now lies gently above. I can only gently remember that I have to breathe my final breaths in the arena. I know now that death is not death. There is no such thing as death, as my body and inner self leaves my Panem body. I almost forget to leave my other body crying for my parents as I completely leave that part of life. I enter a white fog. I have realized that death is not really death, but another part of life. AS I exit the clouds. I give a nod at who I see. I give an true smile that was rare in my other part of life, that I have a feeling will be common here. I walk up to Thistle and Keanu to give them a hug, a memorable one, and in this part of life we won't be from different regions, or districts of Panem. We won't even be from Panem. No we will be from the same place. We will know each other for the whole part of life, not just the part where our neutral need for an alliance forced us together, or where a games to fight to the " death" to get us scared drove us together for the first time, where we would be torn a part for too much more time. We will be friends for the whole time, and till the end of time. And we will ROCK ON.