dysphoria foxglove; capitol; fin

Dysphoria (from Greek: δύσφορος (dysphoros), from δυσ-, difficult, and φέρειν, to bear) is a state of feeling unwell or unhappy; a feeling of emotional and mental discomfort as a symptom of discontentment, restlessness, dissatisfaction, malaise, depression, anxiety or indifference.

That's my name, that's what it means. Which in a way, I guess is what I mean, then. Huh.
When I was born names like that were apparently really en vogue here. I don't know even.
[My mom is really big on what's en vogue.]
I don't want to talk about her, though. She's not as fun to talk about as I am, so I'm going to talk about me!
I'm a stylist. Not the kind that works with the tributes for the Games [like, ew, are they even human?] I work with, like, actual people. I don't care if you know exactly what you want or you haven't the slightest idea. I'm going to help you get what you want.
This can include: tattoos, cosmetic surgery, hair & body dying, body modifications [claws, whiskers, whatever's your fancy, I don't judge.] Everything you can dream I know how to get it for you. Always wanted to be a lion? I can get you there. Glow in the dark hair keeping you up at night? I know how to find it for you. Whatever you want I got.
Mind you, I don't do the mods myself. You need all sorts of training for that and it's crazy complicated. I know basic mechanics, of course, but I prefer working in concepts for the most part. Art is something I've always liked, and I took all these classes in-they call it Cosmetic Design. It's about getting the pieces of the look to work together into something gorgeous. I once had a customer who had all these really elaborate plans, but she wanted, like, green hair, and purple skin, and pink eyes, and I was like, "That's not gonna happen," and she got kinda mad at me but in the end I added some gradients to make it all flow together better and now she looks damn fine, if I do say so myself.

I do mostly vanity adjustments, but I also have a soft spot for people who are unhappy with their body for other reasons. Like, say you're female, and you've always felt like a girl, but you were born in a male body for whatever reason? I will help you out. Trust me. I know all the proper procedures- and don't tell anyone, but I throw in a discount for these kinda things. It makes me feel like it's worth it when I have some ancient old lady telling me about the butterfly wings she wants when I know that I have helped people become comfortable in their bodies. Does that make sense? It's like validation for all those hours of classes. Cause I always knew I would be helping people with silly beauty things-and that's totally fine! It's actually like psychotic levels of fun sometimes. I had this one customer who wanted to be aquatic, so now she has gills and a fishtail and she literally lives underwater in this big glass tank. It's fully furnished and everything! How cool is that?!
Anyway.
I always wanted more than anything for everyone to be comfortable in their bodies, no matter what you have to do. That's one of the reasons I love my job so much. And no matter how great people look when they come in, they always look better when they leave partly cause they're happy with themselves now, and that makes so much difference.

Weirdly enough, though, I like my own appearance for the most part. I dye my hair different shades of red and orange, and I have a lot of piercings and maybe a couple tattoos and a few practical alterations like fixing my eyesight [okay, and they changed my eye color too. What? They were in there already. It's a matter of practicality, alright?]
I even dress pretty conservatively considering, you know, where I live. It wouldn't be considered weird here if I showed up to work in a string bikini. But nope! I wear t-shirts and jeans, mostly! And tank-tops, like in that photo. It was taken at a CosAlt conference. That's what we usually call it. Cos=cosmetic and alt=alteration. It's kinda hard to say all the time, so we shortened it. We being the stylist community. Not that I really hang out with other stylists, cause it's a pretty competitive community. Everyone's all like "You stole my client!" "You ripped off my design!" "Orange hair is so last season!" Which, excuse you, it is so not.

I live in this big loft apartment over my design studio. It's really awesome, cause if I have concept sketches I was working on at home I can't forget them while I'm supposed to be showing the client! That used to happen all the time. That's a big part of why I live here now.
You probably think I'm really stupid, don't you? Most people do. I'm not, though. I'm just a little ditzy, that's all. I actually got really good marks in all of my classes-even the non-art ones! Amazing, right? And there's no disputing that I'm good at my job. I've never had an unhappy customer! Not yet, anyway. Hope I didn't just jinx myself. Whoops.

I should probably mention my family, shouldn't I? I don't...really know them. I always had nannies and stuff, you know? And I spent a lot of time with my cousins, too, but they were always sorta doing their own thing and I didn't want to bother them. So I just dealt with my nannies and then when I was old enough I went off and got my degree and started up a business! That's about it, really! My parents just never really spent time with me. My dad's some kinda politician, I think, and he's busy all the time, and my mom is kinda irritating so I try to stay away from her. My aunts were way cooler, as I remember, but they went missing when I was nine. Not missing, really? Cause nobody ever tried looking. They're probably just..somewhere, I dunno. My younger cousin-Mal-she never really knew them, cause she was six when they stopped coming home. I feel bad for her. They were fucking awesome. Specially Aunt Keighley. She was my favorite.

That's about it, really. That's my life. I don't really do much outside of my job, you know?

codeword:


comments/other: trying something different with the bio. whoooo.
fc; kari byron
narrating [FFCDA3]
thinking [02E0D5]
talking [FF3C00]
others talking [D10000]