Lost in the Echo ღ {//Deenosaur}

The sudden, fleeting rays of the sun brushed across Meira’s eyes as she opened them and heard the slight buzzing sound that must have been her father in the kitchen. Meira was always an early riser, waking up with the sun, but her father was always earlier and in the kitchen whenever she first opened her eyes. A smile crept up her face as she threw the covers off of her and stepped gingerly onto the wooden floor. She always looked forward to waking up when she felt most energetic and ready for the day. She had her work ahead of her and if it was a good night, she would slip out of the house and go out with her friends from work.

She hadn’t been out for a few days, which explained how she had so much energy that morning, but it wasn’t a loss for her; she would just party harder at the next opportunity. But first, she would have to greet her father. Quickly changing, she grabbed her tools and went into the kitchen where her father was just placing the food on the plates. It was always a sight, seeing the big man in a frilly apron holding a spatula in one hand and a pan in the other. Her father was once one of the best fishermen in district four, before he had to start taking care of her mother and it became a full-time job. He never lost his shape or his wits though, as he taught Meira everything he knew and molded her into a fisherman as well. She bounced up to him and gave him a quick kiss on the cheek before pointing to her head.

“Are we having eggs?” she asked, the sound of her voice slightly muted. Her dad gave her a smile and nodded his head. “Yep, and toast too,” he responded, pointing to his chest before making a plus sign with his hand. Meira grinned, her father always knew what she wanted to eat. She placed an egg on her toast before placing munching on it, her eyes looking at the clock to make sure she wasn’t late. She gave her father another kiss on the cheek before pointing to the door. “Okay, don’t stay out too late today. You’re in charge of dinner tonight.” Meira laughed as she closed the door behind her.

Ever since her mother had passed away, it had been only her and her father. It took them a few years and some therapy to completely recover, but they were doing just fine now, even though Meira would still cry in her bed at night and wish that her Mama was holding her. Falling into a pattern did help as did her sessions with her doctor, a kind and understanding man who was very patient with her and not afraid to use hand gestures to communicate either. Her father had told her that he had the same condition as her which explained why they were able to communicate with each other, but it also made her wonder how he was able to communicate with his other patients. Surely not everyone had trouble hearing.

The walk to her work was short, but there was always a crowd of people using that road and it made the walk that much longer. The only thought that consoled her was that the buzz of the crowd was mostly quiet and she was able to ignore the shouts from all directions. Her eyes had to pick up on any warning signs, but the occasional jostle was nothing to worry about. Instead, she took the time to look at people’s faces. There were those who were eager to get to their stalls, worried about the sales for that day, or angry because someone had made a bad transaction the previous day. There was one face that she noticed that looked—empty? Sad? Meira couldn’t quite peg the emotion as she walked up closer to him and tapped him on the shoulder. He was rather tall, but that gave her the advantage of looking up. “Are…are you okay?”

His face looked surprised as Meira managed to grab his attention, but it immediately changed to confusion as he asked her why she was asking about him. Because he’s different. Because there’s something about him that stands out. She wasn’t quite sure how to say it, though, as he kept looking at her and she wasn’t sure what to do next. Were they only going to be staring at each other, trying to understand each other only through their eyes? But he turned away and Meira was able to catch a glimpse of pain before his face was completely turned from her eyes.

This was not the place to talk. She could barely hear in the first place, but with everyone bustling past the two, it made no sense for the two of them to be still when the earth was moving about. A quieter place, a place not so enveloped by noise. Without thinking Meira took the boy’s hand and took him to a bench that was off the main road, away from the possibility of being swallowed by the sea of people. She motioned at his chest and pointed at the bench.

“Your heart,” she moved her hand from her chest to her lower torso. “There’s something wrong with it.” Her hand moved back to her head, tapping it three times. “I’m sorry.” She placed four fingers on her lips before drawing a circle. “I was asking because your expression was different from the crowd.” Her hand lightly tapped the inside of her wrist before folding into the other hand. “I only wanted to make sure you were okay.” She knew from personal experience how much she hated when people asked her if she was okay, but a part of her really did appreciate it, even if she couldn’t communicate her feelings back to them. Plus, her therapist had told her to learn to be aware of people’s expressions, to reach out to them so she wouldn’t be shut in her own world.

Perhaps it wasn’t a good idea to single him out and Meira wasn’t entirely sure she did the right thing. The situation could easily go the wrong way, but somewhere in her heart, she wanted to believe that she was actually helping him out, whatever his troubles were. She tapped her head three times before placing her hand over her heart. “I really am sorry for bothering you.”

After so long, Meira knew that she had to read lips but also understand what the other person was trying to say with their facial expressions, but it wasn’t until she saw the boy’s eyebrows furrow that she realized that she had been talking with her hands and it made her very self-conscious. Her face turned as red as it could with her tanned face and she looked away quickly, folding her hands within each other and behind her back. How could she have forgotten that not everyone knew what she was saying when she started talking with her hands? That was why she had so much difficulty talking with other people—it was as if there was some language barrier between the two.

Except she knew what the other person was saying—or at least the idea of it. Words didn’t matter even if Meira could hear them; it was what every other part of them said, and this boy was looking rather skeptical. She had to give him points for at least looking like he was okay with what was going on, but as she looked down at the ground and mentally scolded herself, she knew that she must have looked quite strange to the boy. She had to think about what to say, how to form the words without using her hands, and gain the strength to speak. Her hands had become somewhat of a crutch and while her doctor and father encouraged her to introduce it to the people she knew, she knew that speaking with her hands could also alienate other people.

“I’m…I’m really sorry.” How much was she supposed to tell a stranger? “I have…trouble hearing so my father and I learned to…to talk with our hands. That way I don’t have to worry about missing the words.” She shuffled her feet as she tried to ground herself. “My doctor, he said to talk to other people. I just forgot that most people…only talk.” She looked up every now and then to try to read his facial expressions but was too embarrassed to keep her eyes on him long enough. Her hands were held tightly behind her back, trying to break free so that she could use them. After so many years of developing the language with her father and doctor, it was hard to break the habit when she had to speak for a long time. It was much easier to do a simple yes or no at work, when words could hardly be heard over the waves and the shouting of other fishermen.

She slightly jolted as she felt a warm hand on her shoulder, and she looked up to see what he was saying. It wasn’t as if Meira was completely deaf—she could still hear words if she was in a quiet environment and the voice was clear—but she struggled for a bit as she tried to separate background noise from the boy’s voice. She understood that she had surprised him; it was not every day someone tried to pull someone else away and start trying to explain herself with her hands. It wasn’t every day someone tried to communicate with you with just their hands either.

There was some silence in the air and Meira took the time to look up. His eyes were closed as it looked like he was thinking hard about something. Was it about what he had thought about while walking? It seemed like it had taken over his mind when she first saw him. He then slid off the bench and alarm rang in her Meira’s mind as fear coursed through her body. Oh no, I’ve frightened him. Ugh, Meira, you should know that not everyone talks like you do. You should know this by now. How could you have done this to the poor boy? But the boy did not leave but instead knelt in front of her.

Her eyes widened with surprise by the close proximity, but what took her even more by surprise were the two words that he uttered. She could read the words so clearly and she knew that it wasn’t because her skills had improved in the past few minutes; he was making an effort to convey that message to her. She shook her head furiously, wanting him to know that there was nothing he should be sorry about. “You shouldn’t be sorry,” she said, her hands still twisting in her lap as she resisted the urge to scare him some more. “I…I should have known better.” She coughed, regaining some composure before looking into his eyes. “Please, just sit on the bench. I’ll be fine.”

But what she really wanted to know was why he had been so pensive earlier. Was it rude of her to ask? “I don’t mean to pry and I think I did a terrible job asking this before, but you seemed like you had something on your mind.” Meira, stop prying. You know you shouldn’t be prying. But she saw a bit of herself in him, back when she would get lost in her own mind because she could hardly understand the world around her. She had been wrapped up in sorrow, in guilt, in heartache at the time, and the world did nothing to help her. “You just reminded me of a time when I was younger. I guess…it was more recent than I thought.”

How could I have been so stupid? Meira thought as she saw him stiffen. She really hadn’t tried to alienate him, but she was doing a good job at it. His words were slow, tentative, and Meira closed her eyes as she knew that she had gone too far. The one time she tried to reach out to another person and she made him feel uncomfortable. He still seemed to be caught up with the fact that he had hurt her when he really hadn’t, but it also seemed like she reminded him of someone. Her eyebrows scrunched up in confusion as she could not recall anyone in District 4 who remotely looked like her, but District 4 was a big district and it was impossible to know everyone.

He started tearing up and he turned his face away from her. Meira felt shocked and uncomfortable as she realized that she had done this. At that point, it only made sense for her to leave before she caused him more pain. She reached out her hand and lightly held his before giving it a small squeeze. “I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have asked. I’ll…I’ll go away before I hurt you more.” She let go of his hand and stood up slowly, her mind trying to find a way to salvage the meeting but no solution appeared. “I truly am sorry,” she said, her hands resting calmly by her side. No hand motion would be able to convey her emotion. With a sad look, she turned and walked away.

The strap from her bag felt heavier than usual as she pushed herself past the crowd, ignoring the ‘sorry’s and dirty looks she was receiving for not apologizing. It wasn’t her fault that she couldn’t tell the difference between apologies and shouts in the world of constant but muted noise. All she really cared about was making up for lost time and getting to work. At least when she was at work, she didn’t have to worry about making someone uncomfortable.

Maybe Meira shouldn’t have left the boy there. After all, it was her fault that he had been brought out of the crowd in the first place. She should have at least been nice about it, been the last one to leave. It was the least she could have done. Her eyes stared forward as she kept making her way through all the workers and schoolchildren were the mornings always this busy?, and regret continued to lap at her until surprise replaced regret when someone grabbed her arm and she reached into her bag instinctively.

Her father had always told her that she should be on alert, but as her hearing gradually worsened, he knew it was better to drill her in protecting herself. Any tool that was in her bag wouldn’t be enough to incapacitate anyone, but it would have done enough damage to let her run away. However, Meira wasn’t given the chance to strike as she saw the face of the boy she had pulled away from the crowd earlier. Her surprise changed to confusion as she wondered why is he here and why he looked like he had just been crying. When she had left him, he looked a mixture of confused and discomfort, but she had never picked up sad.

His next words made her body stiffen and for the first time in a long time, she wished she was completely deaf. What the hell? Maybe her hearing was so bad that it completely distorted words. A part of her wished that was the case because then she could easily brush it off and the both of them could pretend that he had said something else. But she was able to see his face clearly and she saw those lips form the three words that made her think he might be slightly crazy.

“I’m…I’m sorry.” It felt like she had been saying those words a lot ever since she saw him. “What did you say?” He knew that she had trouble hearing—there couldn’t be any harm in using that card. But her mind was still reeling as she tried to understand what had just happened. Was it something she had said? Was he delusional? Or was he really just that crazy that he would say something like that to a girl he barely knew?

Meira watched intently as she tried to unscramble the boy’s words of explanation. He was saying something about friendly love but that made no sense as they weren’t even friends. Did she look this frustrated when she was trying to explain her condition to him? She wanted to tell him that it was okay, but the truth was she barely understood what he was saying. She finally removed her hand from her bag and wanted to shake both of them in front of her so he would know that it didn’t matter, but he stepped closer before she could move her hands to view.

A part of her brain told her to take a step back as if there was a cushion between the two, but her feet were planted on the ground as he started talking into her ear. It never reached her mind how close he actually was, but his words were clear for the first time since she met him. He was right—she did have somewhere she needed to be—but was it really more important than hearing his explanation? She was the one who had pulled him away initially. The explanation would have to wait until lunch, however, as she really did have to be at work. She nodded her head silently as she took the card from him. Her eyes quickly glanced down to mentally note the name before slipping the card into the left pocket of her bag. “Lunch at noon. I can do that.”

His expression changed to one that looked admittedly cute, and Meira forced herself to look away before her mind wandered into a different territory. “I’ll…I’ll see you at noon,” she said before turning around and walking away. The conversation had become so strange for her with those last few minutes but she knew that it had been strange for him since the very start. The least she owed him was the chance to explain what he meant—or whatever it was he wanted to talk about.

Work was the same as it always was, but the boy’s earlier words still lingered in her mind as she ran a check on her supplies before heading into her lunch break. “I will be back in two hours and I’ll make up for lost time,” she notified her boss. He only gave her a small nod before turning back to the customers at his stall. With her employer’s approval, she walked to the café, the card in her hand so she could find the place. It was tucked in a street not too far from her employer’s stall, and when she entered the café, she knew that she never would have otherwise gone in.

The place was quite small with only a few customers at the time. Perhaps it would fill up as children got out of school or adults left their workplace, but most people couldn’t afford to leave in the middle of the day. Even Meira didn’t take long lunch breaks on a typical day; just some bread and smoked fish would tide her over for the second half of the day. But that day was not a typical day as she looked around the café, hoping to spot the boy.