Which Way Is Up {April+June Rhodes}

APRIL RHODES
EIGHTEEN - DISTRICT 9

I knew June would look for me for advice, for help to handle this when she suddenly came running. I just collected her in my arms and held her there. I didn't know what to say, because there were no words. I could have saved her. I knew that. I could have saved her but I just didn't. I just didn't think of it until it was to late. Tears was flushing down my face all the sudden, I hadn't cried in years but this was a good occasion to start. I never felt that ashamed of myself, not in my entire life. Why didn't I save her? I needed to stay strong now, stay strong for June. "I'm sorry. I'm sorry I didn't volonteer. I don't know why I didn't." The hickups didn't stop. I had to gather myself. I had to stay guarded for her.

As I held my little sister in my arms I realized the missfortune that seemed to be following us Rhodes sisters around. It was like we were cursed. The pain and misery just kept coming. When I finally thought I was happy, it appeared that the gods were just giving my some happiness to steal it away. "Okey honey, I don't know because there is nothing we can do. We can't sponsor her, thats just for the capitolists. I don't know but we have to do something" I took her hands in mine, kissed her on the fore head. "I'm sorry I didn't save her June. I don't now why I didn't. IT just didn't happen somehow." I held her body close to mine, I feel her body heath warming me up

APRIL RHODES
EIGHTEEN - DISTRICT 9

"HEY HEY" I stepped infront of June, and hardly pushed the peacekeeper away. He grabbed tried the shove me away, but I held my ground refusing to move. "You stay the fuck away from her, do you hear me? If you lay a finger on my sister again, I will destroy every piece of you" My voice was cocky, I refused moving a single centimeter. As he hit me with his baton, right in the arm I refused to cry out. I just nodded in disappointed. "Wow. I'm so impressed. Go home to you to District 2 you traitor" I told him, before he could hit me again, I grabbed June and disappeared into the crowds. 

"What the fuck was that?" I grabbed her wrist and gave stared angry into her eyes. What a stupid little kid. "You are such a stupid little child." I signed loudly. I usually never treated her as she was younger than me, but if she behaved like a child she would be treated like one. "Do you really think rage will settle anything? I get that you're mad. That was just stupid. I've been angry too, okay I know what it's like. I've been living this hell a lot longer than you have. Do you think that little outburst you had there would make Mays chances any better? If they found out her sister was messing with a peacekeeper, they would probably do everything in their power to do everything they can to kill her off as fast as they can the second she steps into that arena. Is that what you want? I didn't think so. Behave for godsake. You can't be a child any longer June. I'm sorry you should be able to be, but this world doesn't allow it. Its time for you to grow the fuck up and take some responsibility for your actions" I gave her a hard look.

I barely ever been mad at her before, but at the moment I felt as if there weren't words to express my rage. Maybe I took out my anger on the capitol a bit on here, but since our mother wasn't here to teach her about the upsetting, yet true injustices of the world I had to do it for her. I pulled her into my arms, even if she would hate me for it. A few times, like when she broke my favourite doll. She was just two years of age, but I cried for hours.

My tune got a bit softer, and I kissed her on the forehead. "Okay honey we have to do this the right way" I let my hand slide through her hair, gentle holding her head next to my body. "June, I hate the capitol and their fucking crap too. I'm not saying that you should take their bullshit, but if you're going to e a rebell be smart about it. You can't let your emotions get the best of you. Thats how you die in this world. They hold all of their power, if he would have decided to blow your pretty little face of he would have, and you wouldn't have anything to say about it. Nobody would even raise an eyebrow, just like nobody cared when our mother died or when May got reaped. Every single soul here is powerless. But together we are strong, and thats where the little capitols theories bursts. We have to stay together and we have to stay strong. We have to help May, and being killed is not the way. I have no idea how, but I certainly now that, that is not the way" I couldn't believe how hard I was being towards her, but it was for her own best. She could hate me if she'd like, as long as she listen. When it came to her, I didn't care about the way she felt about me nearly as much as I cared about her safety. 

APRIL RHODES
EIGHTEEN - DISTRICT 9

"Honey don't" I grabbed her hand softly and sat down next to her, leaning towards the wall. I didn't know what to say to make it feel better, but I had to say something. She couldn't be a rebel, she was to little, to vunerable. Doing anything rebellious at all would, either of us would not only put us in a awkward situation with our adoptive parents but also destroy Mays chances. "Honey no, not right now. Not while they got May" I petted her pretty blonde hair carefully. It was about the same length as mine, but lighter.

I got up on my legs and reached my hand towards her. "Lets go home little sis'" We didn't have a home, at least not a common one for both of us. I had to get us a home, a little cabin where we could live. I could be her legal guardian, and Mays as well when she came home. If she came home. I didn't even want to think about it. "Would you mind me applying for your guardianship? I'll get a job, a little cabin for us. May would like to come home to that don't you think? I'll apply for her too". It sounded naive, but I wanted her to be naive. I wanted her to be happy and not think of the horrors waiting for May. I'll make sure of that. "We'll get May sponsors. I'll apply for your guardianship but wait to by a house so I can spend all of the money on her sponsors. I think our parents may have some money waiting for us. We'll talk to every rich bastard in the entire district. I promise you, we'll get her home"

APRIL RHODES
EIGHTEEN - DISTRICT 9

"I know May will come home too April, but I just pray to Ripred it isn't in a coffin. I just don't know how I would carry on after that. If May..." Her words cut like a knife through my heart. My little sisters words. I knew she was right, but I didn't want her to think that way. I just wanted her to laugh and be happy and have a boyfriend and gossip with her girlfrieds, I just wanted her to be a 14 yearold. Was that to much to ask for? Her words were too pure, too honest. The worst thing was that I couldn't lie to her, I couldn't promise her anything. I was as clueless and lost as she were. "I know my dear. It hurts so bad.. But whatever happens.. We'll have to figure it out." Was that really the best I could do? I had always had a strange talent in comforting people, but that didn't seem to come to use at the moment. "I don't know what to say.. You're right. And it's terrible, it's just mad. I keep thinking of ways to save her, to help her but there aren't any. Honestly, even if we tried to send her every penny of both our salaries, she wouldn't even get a pen for that." Sponsorship was expensive, and I'm not even sure if us districts people could send them. "At least she survived the bloodbath. She has a great chance now, with some allies and stuff too. Not all families can celebrate that"

I grabbed her head and pulled it too my chest, carefully kissed her forehead. "I don't want you to worry about that. I make a enough to house and feed us both. I just need you to finish school properly, I don't want the peacekeepers up my butt when I finally get your guardiance. I think it will be rather easy though, because  we were meant to be picked up by a close realitve, problem was no one ever came. We were placed in hostfamilies, just until they came along. They never did though, but since I am 18 now, I am an adult and a close family member, which means they cannot deny me your guardianship" I had done some reseach down at the orphanage. They had hated me for it, because they already knew what I was searching for. Still, they couldn't change it.

"You know if May comes home a victor" If, if if. How could I even say that? I didn't want to create an illusion of something that wasn't sure. It wasn't even in the odds. I had denied it, even to myself but the odds weren't in Mays favour. Most likely, she would come home in that coffin June mentioned. I pushed that thought away, because I couldn't even handle it myself. How was I supposed to support June through this, if I couldn't even handle it myself? "We'll get an house in the victors village, so then we won't have to worry about paying the rent. But until then, I'll get a job. I already got some offers actually" I didn't want to tell her, but they all came up to me after Mays reaping. Petted me on the back and offered me a job. We all knew how badly it hurt loosing a family memeber, all thanks to the capitol. They were just trying to be nice, yet I found myself just mad at the sympathic strangers.