my hands are shaking for you [Opal/Potato]

My hands is shakin' whens I see her.

I ain't sure they begun ter do that. It's like they all excited ter hold her an' when they see her that yearnin' grows an' grows. She looks like an' Opal, an' I'm in ther knowin' that's her name an' all, but she do. She shines, jus' like an' Opal. An' I'm wonderin' how anyone is expectin' me ter be able ter jus' walk away from that when they come fer me, when they take me away from her. It's like pullin' my roots from ther groun', an' how kin I be growin', how kin I live long enough ter preform tricks, when I don't got her.

I offer her a smile anyhow 'cause she said ther other day that she weren't wantin' ter talk about the time when I'll be leavin' her. I don't really knowwho else ter talk ter. There ain't been a victor from Eleven in ages, we ain't got no menter. All's I got is my bones an' even then, they ain't great listeners. They ain't in ther nature of carin'.

Her kiss she bestows on me warms me, thawin' the ice that has frozen unner my skin. It blooms there, like ther first seed planted in ther spring time an' I remember it, jus' as I've remembered every other touch she's given me. In the Autumn', when ther time ter harvest comes, I will be a patchwork of greenery.

She teases me with a roll of bandages, an' my smile grows even more. "Here, you show it on me, an' I'll practice on yer," I say, grabbin' my own roll.

I don't care what
t h e y s a y
I am already awake
My hands are shaking for you
F o r y o u

Despite all of my doom an' gloom, havin' Opal Shore aroun' does make me feel a heck of a lot better. She's got this way about her, I reckon that no one could hate a thing like her. She's happiness as a person, she's my happiness.

I laugh as she wraps up my arm, "Aroun' an' roun' an' roun'," I agree with her an' wrap her up 'roun her wrist as she switches ter wrappin' up my head. She goes 'roun my nose, my mouth, my ears an' then my eyes so's alls I kin see is whiteness. It's strangely peaceful unner there, like I'm already dead or somethin'.

I catch her wrists as they try to go aroun' once more an' hold them apart from me. She tells me not ter ferget ter kiss them better. I c'ain't be kissin' anyone, I'm all wrapped up. I cain't even say anythin'. It's real peaceful in here. I pull her close, like the way Pa an' Ma used ter, an' then I sway us back an' forth like we're dancin'. Unable ter speak, seein' as I'm all bandaged up an' it'll come out muffled up anyhow, I rest my head on toppa' her's, us gently swayin' back an' forth.

I don't care what
t h e y s a y
I am already awake
My hands are shaking for you
F o r y o u

I feel a tug on the fabric that's on my eyes an' then I see Opal, starin' straight up inter my eyes with such an earnest expreshun that it makes them crinkle up with ther smile that's formed all by its self beneath ther bandagin'. I swear that I could go ahead an' try ter write a song 'bout them eyes, or maybe paint them on a canvas but anythin' I tried would be nowhere near good enuff. If Sis' were here, she'd try ter supply me with all ther metaphoricals I could want but she ain't. Ma ain't. Pa ain't. Everyone ain't but her, she's the one who ain't left me yet. She's ther one that I'm gonna leave.

I wish I didn't have ter.

Seein' as she has released my eyes, I use em ter give her stupid eyelashes kisses 'gainst her forehead. I reckon' I could live without my mouth, or my nose, my ears. I could live with just my eyes if I hadda' 'cause maybe that's all I'll have left after this. Just two eyes to watch over her from heaven. I wish I still believed in heaven, in heck, in Ripred. I wish that I could talk ter him 'bout all this.

After a moment of standin', I pull us down ter sit, real careful 'bout her leg 'cause I knows that sittin' an' ther like kin be hard. I pull her onter my lap, so that she's still facin' me.

I don't care what
t h e y s a y
I am already awake
My hands are shaking for you
F o r y o u

I want ter stay right here with her, in this moment, until all the suns an' all the stars have bled out across the sky an' there ain't no such thing as life anymore, let alone us. I want ter give her infinities that I don't own an' I would promise her ther very ground I stand on if I could. I would give her the world ten times over 'cause she already got mine.

Instead, all's I kin offer her is the smallest chance of survival. My odds are low, I ain't never fought no one in my whole life, let alone set out ter kill them. I ain't in the knowing if I am kay-pa-bull of killin' anyhow. Could I stand over my neighbor an' press a blade inter their flesh. Kin I do this thing?

Maybe, fer her.

Reachin' up, I pull the cloth down so's that I kin speak with her. My hand runds down her hair an' I rest my head down on the top 'a her's agin.

"I love you, Miss Opal Shore," I tell her, quite simple-like.

I don't care what
t h e y s a y
I am already awake
My hands are shaking for you
F o r y o u