Keeping promises {Arya}

It's a horrible day knowing that so much can happen within the next few hours. Dread builds up inside me as I look around wondering what could happen. People are leaving, people are coming, but the Rhode family stands here, but it's obvious this girl isn't wanting to deal with me. I sigh softly prepared to walk away when the promise I made to May runs through my mind. I promised to talk to them, and to watch out for them while she was gone. I promised to tell May's older sister that it wasn't her fault she was reaped, but hopefully she knows that. Hopefully she'll understand, but being in their situation right now isn't one I'm familiar with. Knowing that the world could come crashing down upon them isn't one of the easiest things for anyone to deal with.

It's hard to talk to her when she obviously doesn't want me to be around. I keep my gaze turned towards the ground not talking out of fear she'll just push me away like everyone else. My heart races under my chest as the words form at the tip of my tongue begging to fly into the air, but they need more thought before speaking because today is a horrible day, and some words could always make things worse than they already are. My hand runs along the side of my pants trying to wipe the sweat away, but it's impossible to hide the emotions flowing through me. No, I don't personally know May, but I know June, and I said goodbye to May because I know of May, and making promises to her was the least I could do.

"I don't really know May, but I know of her. I'm friends with June, and I went to talk to May..." My voice shakes as it trails off. The last thing she needs right now is to be reminded her sister is gone. My gaze stays focused on the ground as my weight shifts across my feet over and over. Talking has never been my strong point, and I'm always making things worse. I inhale sharply. "She wanted me to tell you, and June, that it wasn't your fault. That nothing could have changed what happened." It's hard talking about what she said, but I promised, and it's a promise I plan on keeping.

It's hard not to feel bad for her. It must be going through hell watching a family member go through the games. I'm glad I'm an only child, and that I haven't made any friends until recently when I became friends with June. Knowing how bad it must be for them right now kills me inside. It's hard standing here in front of this girl not knowing what she's feeling. Knowing that she's probably hating me for standing here talking to her telling her what May wanted me to tell her. It's a promise I made, and no matter what happens, a promise is something I try my hardest to keep.

She's not happy with me, and I want to leave, to walk away from her forever because it's the best thing that could happen. I don't want a fight to break out in front of everyone watching. It'll be best for everyone for me to just go home and sit with my mom and watch the games on the small tv we have at home. Talking to people has never been easy, and I don't know how I should feel right now. June is a friend. May is June's sister. This girl I'm talking to is May's sister. They are all related, and knowing what is happening, knowing that May could die in the games and return to the district dead isn't something that's up for conversation. It's horrible.

"She's strong, smart, and brave. I know I can't do much for you, or June, and nothing will ever change what has happened." Words. Just words. Words can build someone up, or they could break them down. I've never been strong enough to talk to someone. I've wanted to get better at talking to people, but it's far away. It seems I always make things worse by trying to make them better, and maybe it'll be best if I just stop talking and go away and pretend I never said anything. "I know you don't know me, and you probably don't want to know me, so I'll just be going.

I'll be that friend June needs. I promise."

I take a deep breath before turning away fixing my eyes on the screen watching the people fight for survival. The blood has been shed and five cannons echoed throughout the arena, but May is alive, and she doesn't look like she's took much damage. All I can hope for is that May makes them proud by fighting with everything she has. It's hard watching the games as people die, but thankfully both district nine tributes are still alive. Knowing how easy life can be taken away from someone isn't what one would call fair, but life isn't fair and we all know it.

The way she talks makes me wonder what it's actually like to watch a family member go through the games. I'm grateful that I've never had anyone close go through it, but usually it's just me and nobody else because I'm that stupid gimp kid. I hate it more than anyone would ever know. Words fail me because it's obvious she's worried watching May go through the games. I, we all, are forced to watch every year as we stand at home praying that someone from district nine will make it home, but it rarely happens. People who are fed properly, people who are more fit, everyone from the higher districts because they aren't near starved to death anyway.

"May is strong. She's a fighter."

It's not much because there's still a lot of people alive in the games and any second her life could be ended. It's horrible watching people kill one another. It's wrong in so many ways, but they don't see it that way. It's a fight for survival until one individual climbs out of the arena alive while the other twenty-three died. It's horrible, and sick, but nothing will change it. I used to believe the games were important, but they aren't. I hate them, and I hate the Capitol for doing what they are doing. They allow to happen. They want us to die, and nothing will ever change it. It's horrible, but I want to cry, I want to scream because the fighting just keeps going on and on.

"She's smart. She's brave."

I try speaking encouraging words because it looks like May has a chance to win. She's doing fantastic right now compared to a lot. Cannons have sounded and every time one sounds my eyes dart towards the screen hoping with everything inside of me that she's still alive and fighting, and she is. She's fighting well, and I just hope she keeps it up. Not for me, but for her sister's because they need her. All I want is for her to be strong and go as far as she can, maybe even win, but who am I kidding? What's the odds of getting to victors in back to back years? It's not something I'll bring up, though.

"And you don't have to be sorry. You have a right to yell, to be worried. I'm sorry for disturbing you."