remake : isla grace deschanel • d2 done

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"Point your god damn toes, Gracie. Your sickle is god awful." [break][break]

Turn, spot. Bend as you come to the front...[break][break]

"You're not pointing."[break][break]

Oh yeah, point your toes.
Why am I even doing this? I hate it.[break][break]

"Watch your form Isla!!! You look like a hunch back."[break][break]

I was just pointing my toes... like you said.[break][break]

"Don't call me that." [break][break]

"You are anything but 'graceful'. It doesn't suite you well... remember your turn out."[break][break]

What a witch...[break][break]

"Keep focused. Where is your mind? Chin up... lower your shoulders. This is awful."[break][break]

It can't be that awful?[break][break]

My ankle rolls out from under my satin point shoe. A shot of ice cold runs up my calf as my slender body hits the floor, my arms catching me. I wasn't sure what was worse, the pain of my throbbing ankle or my cold hard stare of anger and disappointment upon my back. I should be used it it by now should I?[break][break]

The music stops. As the fragile keys of the piano fade away, it seems too quiet. Silence lay like a down-filled duvet over the area, muffling the slightest sound and creating an atmosphere of total tranquillity. The quietness was almost tangible, no rustle of clothing, breathing slow and barely audible, even the once creaking of the building settling was stilled as though to order. The room is now empty and no one spoke words, no one dared break the eerie quiet. It was as though if anyone spoke a word the delicate balance would be shattered. My head hangs down like its a broken doll on strings, I didn't want to look at a disappointed face anymore. I see too many now. [break][break]

I pick myself up off the ground, like a lifeless rag doll. My back straightens and I spot myself in the mirror, locking my eyes on to my reflection. Maybe this time would be different. Mother said trying again and again leads to perfection. Some day the same music will play, the same music that I have been listening too for weeks. Something will click, I will be able to point my toes to just the right angle. Just right. And that day will be the day I can do my pirouette with the most grace my instructor has ever seen. I wonder if she would show emotion then. I waited.[break][break]

The notes never played.[break][break]

My arms sink lower to my side. The muscles bulging out from my blades, trying to hold up my arms in the strenuous position. My eyes dare to leave my reflection and meet the icy glare of my instructor. I lower my arms, the bittersweet sensation of relation took over my arms. I couldn't help but think about how I didn't want to ever to that agin. Except I had memories of when I begged my mother and father night and day to teach me how to dance like the girls on the recess yard. I wanted to know how to move with such beauty. But I didn't know this is what I signed up for. I thought dance was supposed to make the person feel ecstatic not begging inside to leave.[break][break]

"Are you going to turn the music back on? I am ready to try again." [break][break]

II actually don't want to try that again. Like ever.[break][break]

My teacher sighed, clicking the stereo off with her long nimble finger tips. [break][break]

"Gracie, you're dismissed."[break][break]

I didn't actually mean what I thought...[break][break]

"My lesson isn't over yet." [break][break]

"You are not listening to anything I am telling you do to. You are beyond help. I can't keep trying to teach you if you won't get your stubborn ass up and do the correction I told you to do."[break][break]

"You're a lost cause."[break][break]

Is that what she really thinks?"[break][break]

"At least we still have Madeline."[break][break]

"Madeline? It's always about MADELINE! Madeline this, Madeline that. Madeline is sooo great, why can't you be like your sister Madeline, Gracie? Because she's just so amazing. Well you know what? Good thing you have her because I am dead to you!" [break][break]

"At least she uses her talent. You just let it go to waste! You are a selfish little -"[break][break]

"Oh no don't finish. Because Madeline is so much different! Just remember your precious little Madeline is just like me a long time ago. It's not long before she turns into a lost cause. Then whats going to happen?" [break][break]

"ISLA I SAID YOU ARE DISMISSED!"[break][break]

I felt my lip tremble as I flee out the door, leaving my teacher standing by the stereo. How could this be happening? She was right... I did have talent. The memories of my mother and father watching my brother and I perform ballets. Their kind words telling me how I could do it was the only thing that I needed to motivate me. Not anymore. The fire seemed to hue and the interest was extinguished. I no longer pleaded to go to class, begging my mother to take me just one more time. I dreaded it, like it was an ultimate cross to carry. As I ran down the stairs to the waiting room it just occurred to me how many tricks I had up my sleeve on how not to go to practice. Instead of focusing on what I should be doing to get better I focused on how to avoid the problem.[break][break]

A single tear rolled down my face, as I barged into the waiting room. My twin brother Jared looked up from his magazine with a smile that quickly faded. The icy glares of the mothers pierced me just like my instructors. Whispers were being sent, talking about how they heard yelling form up stairs. No one likes the Deschanels in the studio. My sister and I's long range of talent so to say doesn't exactly go unnoticed. The dance world was no place for people who don't like competition. Anything that could bring down the top dogs was something any mother was bound to do. They could have my spot. Being on top wasn't worth all the criticism. [break][break]

"Gracie... where are you going? We need to wait for Ma-" [break][break]

I didn't give him time to finish. My blush of embarrassment and tears were something I didn't want people to see. Not here, not anywhere. Grabbing his sleeve I pulled him outside the door, just in time for him to grab my bag and the magazine that was laying in his lap. HIs warm hand on my cold clammy one was a sense of relief, before I let go to be alone. The sun beating on my back and legs made it hard to walk fast enough to keep my pace ahead of my brother. My pink tights and satin point shoes begin to collect a layer of dirt from the gravel streets we were walking on. His strong arm overpowering my shoulder forced me to sit on the side of the road. [break][break]

"What the hell happened back there, Gracie?" [break][break]

His gentle hands unlaced my point shoes from my calfs as I rubbed my eyes trying to get them to stop crying. Why was I such a mess? My own brother having to care for me like a child ad I can't even look at him in the eyes in fear of crying more.[break][break]

"She yelled at me again Jared... I can't do anything right." [break][break]

He sighed, untying the other ones and placing them into my bag.[break][break]

"She always yells at you. How is this time different? You never cry, I know that for a fact."[break][break]

I sigh, watching Jared as he stands up from his crouching position. He looks exactly like me now that I think about it. And a sort of complexion that makes people what to talk to you. I think it's sort of a Deschanel charm that we all have. Dark hair and dark blue eyes. Uneven tanned skin and a large forehead is something we all share. It's funny, considering he has a funny sunburn on the top of his forehead. I don't point it out because I know I probably have a matching red blotch.[break][break]

"She brought in Madeline again." [break][break]

A silence took over the scene, just like it did earlier. [break][break]

"Maybe, Gracie, you should take a break and regenerate. I know you don't agree but sometimes you need to rest."[break][break]

I stare at him with cold eyes, wiping away my tears. It was the same story. He alway tells me I need to take a break. But he doesn't understand. Nothing slows down for you. It just runs away and it's harder to keep up. I can't stop, I am too afraid because I don't know what I would do with myself.[break][break]

"You don't know what it's like Jared. Having your own sister being your biggest competition."[break][break]

"You're right I don't."[break][break]

"Watching her become... better then me is bitter sweet."[break][break]

"You have lost your spark, Gracie. You can't deny it."[break][break]

"You sound like her."[break][break]

"You don't want to admit it but it's true. You have grown older and you realized you missed out on so many things and giving up dancing would seem like a failure to you. But it's not."[break][break]

"I can't let you down, Jared. Or Mom and Dad. I just don't want to break my promise to you."[break][break]

"You have never disappointed us. Watching you and Maddie dance is something we all enjoy. And for me, I don't want you to feel bound to something because of a promise you made to me."[break][break]

"You sound like an old man when you speak, you know that?"[break][break]

He chuckles slight, helping me up and grabbing my bag. I glade at his leg remembering the look on his face when the doctor told him he couldn't dance anymore. It seems like the look of defeat is still engraved on his face even after all these years. The horror and tears seem so real like they were happening all over again. How could I be such a disgrace? Jared can't do what he loves and here I am wishing I was in his position. I was selfish.[break][break]

"I feel like an old man."[break][break]

"Don't make me feel bad, Jared."[break][break]

"Like I said, maybe swimming is for you."[break][break]

"Hey! The webbed feet jokes are not necessary right now!"[break][break]

He's been telling me that ever since he noticed my two toes were glued next to each other. Sometimes I think thats the reason my point is never exactly right. His voice rings through my head as he mocked me from being a duck. I used to believe him when I was younger. Somehow he convinced me I was half duck.Except, when I tried to swim the water just pulled me under and father had to pull me out. The look on my twin brothers face was horrible but after I dried off I stomped over to him and proclaimed I wasn't a duck right in his face.[break][break]

Boy, didn't it feel great to prove people wrong. Even if it almost costed me my life.[break][break]

Yet, I could never prove my instructor wrong. I sort of have a mission to prove her wrong. Her strong voice telling me I couldn't fight her because she would always be on top. All her corrections seemed etched into each grain of muscle I had developed. Hours of my life working on a single motion of my foot. Endless classes when all I wanted to do was sleep but I pushed myself to keep going. Staring at myself in the mirror, trying to figure out what what was wrong with my port de bras until my mother had to pick my up and carry me home. The will of a young girl was stronger then it is now.[break][break]

That will somehow carried to my little sister. I remember she would watch me practice in the bathroom mirror while we are brushed my teeth. I never thought that my sister would outshine me in an art that I wanted to call me own. Her grace and beauty was astounding, not even a stubborn, jealous soul like mine could deny it. She began taking roles and the admiration of my instructor. No longer was I the star. She was. Mother and father would compliment her more then me and even though she was a twelve year old girl with a dream, I was just as in need of encouragement. And sadly, my brothers could only get me so far.[break][break]

"Maybe you are right, Jared." [break][break]

His puzzled look made me smile.[break][break]

"Wait you mean, you are agreeing with me? Oh my god - someone has to video this giant step for mankind! [break][break]

"Do you remember what Miss Anikin always told us?"" [break][break]

Jared nodded, pursing his lips together.[break][break]

"Practice makes perfect?'[break][break]

"No matter how much I practice or worked, there was always something wrong with what I did."[break][break]

"And your point is?" [break][break]

I smiled to myself deviously. [break][break]

"What's that face for, Gracie?" [break][break]

"Oh nothing."[break][break]

"I have a hard time beli-"[break][break]

"Race you to the house!"[break][break]

I begin pick my feet off the pavement faster and faster. Ignoring the pain of the stones press ion into my feet and my brothers wails from behind me. I chuckle, not because my brother couldn't catch up because of his inability to run. It's because I just did the impossible.[break][break]

I won.[break][break]