when you look outside | luca & drew | [dreams]

drew whitley

The air smells like bliss today.

It smells sweet and soft and perfect, like if I just stood here long enough, I could be carried away on a breeze. My mischievous intentions are gone for the day, to who knows where. I don't feel like stirring up trouble. I feel like wandering around until the sun sets.

I woke up early this morning, just like I always do. Just when the sun was rising up from the sea of the horizon, splashing up pinks and golds and reds into the dark sky. And now those colors have morphed into the vibrant blue abyss that drapes above me as I walk. Wispy clouds hang low in the sky, and intense sunlight shines through them, hugging my cheeks in a warm embrace. Noah would like this, if he learned to appreciate the outdoors. I try to coax him into coming out, but for some unknown reason, he never does. Just stays on the porch, watching me with those big blue eyes like a lost puppy. I can't help but I love him, no matter how many times I tell myself I'll hate him forever. That, no matter how many times her grates on my nerves, I'll be the big sibling I never had. It always comes back to that. 

I kick a few rocks out of boredom as I steadily strolled across the landscape. Loneliness is something that doesn't bother me. Solitude is something I've grown accustomed to, even though I have a decent sized friend group. Being alone is freedom to do embarrassing things. It's not burden, it breathes freely; it's weightless. It's healing when you're upset. It's beautiful and one of the only things perfect left in this corrupt world. It's refuge.

I wave and smile to a few passersby. Some of them I recognize, some of them I don't. Only one smiles back, but it's enough to brighten the day up. I stuff my thumbs inside my pockets and squint upwards. The breeze picks up my hair and tosses it around in short bursts. A smile tugs at my lips, and I tuck a few strands behind my ear. I feel like I should have somewhere to be, a place to go. My eyes sweep the distance until they land on a towering tree surrounded by the greenest grass I've seen in Five before. Even though mud stains most of my shoes, the rain has been good to us. The tree looks perfect for climbing, it's branches forming together like woven tiers. I smile even wider and start heading in the tree's direction.

The trunk is wide and sturdy, as are the limbs. I grin. My hands grab a branch, and a concentrated shower of former rain falls down on me. I let out a soft laugh and pull myself up. I peek around and choose the sturdiest looking branch, which is almost on the opposite side. After a little twisting and turning, I'm there. The bark is rough and wet under my skin as I start making my way up. I break through the barrier of soaked leaves and lose my footing.

I instinctively mutter, "Ripred." My hands catch me before I fall completely. A few feet to my right is a boy who looks my age. A vibrantly colored page is fanned out across his lap. I study it out of curiosity, but I'm too far up to make anything out.

My cheeks are red with embarrassment as I hang there. "Er, hi there." I say sheepishly. My fingers slip from the damp bark again, and I land uneasily hard on my feet. I almost topple over, but I catch the trunk to stop my fall. "I'm sorry if I got you wet."