if this life is {fiction} // tom
Aug 30, 2014 15:23:27 GMT -5
Post by cici on Aug 30, 2014 15:23:27 GMT -5
freya hanig
I just want to be ok, be ok, be ok
I used to love books. They were my first love, before Kormiko, before Rum Tum, before I even knew I had the ability to love. I got to know the characters more than I did my neighbors, even though they never had the chance to know me, even though they were mere fiction. However, there were also supporting characters that I never got to know well enough, characters that only showed in a chapter or two. On one hand, chapters were always nice because they organized the book and made it easier to read. But now I know that chapters are just meant to separate the past from the present, because now I’m on to the next chapter of my life, and I don’t want to be. Rum Tum wasn’t meant to be just a chapter, a supporting role. He was the story. He was part of the climax, the development; the entire plot depended on him. But alas, maybe I’m not the author.
Rum Tum is gone: lost because of my stupidity the day I entered District Three to grab us some necessities without him. Days of shouting his name while sprinting through the woods, and I still haven’t found a trace of him. I glance sideways at the trees as I trek through the woods, taken aback the moment I see a slash through the bark. Rum Tum used to track our paths that way. My heart beats in anticipation; I’m getting somewhere. Immediately, my feet carry me as I sprint through the greenery, slashed tree after slashed tree. It’s as if I’m expecting the trees to lead to him. Instead, they lead me to the fence of District Eleven. Of course. The marks on the trees were from the time we came to meet his family. Maybe he went back. Maybe he’s here. I don’t know how he would have made it into the district, considering his blindness, but optimism is all I have right now. I need him to be safe, even if only in my head.
I look for the opening beneath the fence that had been my way through the last time, but disappointment fills me when I realize it has been repaired. My only option left is the tree that I had been too afraid to jump from the last time. I put my hands on the bark, pulling myself up the wind blows my frizzy, knotted hair in front of my face. Climbing the tree is so much easier than I remember it, but I would give all of my strength up to be weak again, to have an excuse to fall down and cry and deny all responsibility.
I finally make my way across the branch that hangs over the fence and into the district. I edge further onto the branch, feeling a trembling sensation beneath me as it fights to support my weight. I slip my backpack off my shoulders and toss it to the ground, watching as it lands in a pile of fresh mud. Then, I take a deep breath and grip the branch tightly with both hands, feeling like a gymnast as I let my whole body hang from the branch. When I look down, I see that the drop isn’t terribly large – not large enough to kill me, but large enough that I should be worried about what state I’ll be in once I hit the bottom. There’s mud beneath me – mud is soft, right? My hands grip the branch tighter when I hear a rustling sound in the fields of wheat. There’s a boy in the distance – is that Rum Tum? It looks like him. It has to be him! “Rum Tum!” I shout, my voice suddenly eager. “I can’t jump. I can’t do it. It’s so far.” I can’t walk any further, I can’t run that far, I can’t climb that high – I’ve told him so many times that “I can’t.” But he always reminded me that I can. And I need him to remind me one more time, because after weeks of pretending to be strong, it’s hard not to be weak.
But relief spreads through me when I realize that Rum Tum is here; there's no reason to be weak anymore.
ooc - bleh sorry this is one of the worst posts I've written in a while; just to clarify, Freya thinks that the approaching Levi is actually Rum Tum so oops
Rum Tum is gone: lost because of my stupidity the day I entered District Three to grab us some necessities without him. Days of shouting his name while sprinting through the woods, and I still haven’t found a trace of him. I glance sideways at the trees as I trek through the woods, taken aback the moment I see a slash through the bark. Rum Tum used to track our paths that way. My heart beats in anticipation; I’m getting somewhere. Immediately, my feet carry me as I sprint through the greenery, slashed tree after slashed tree. It’s as if I’m expecting the trees to lead to him. Instead, they lead me to the fence of District Eleven. Of course. The marks on the trees were from the time we came to meet his family. Maybe he went back. Maybe he’s here. I don’t know how he would have made it into the district, considering his blindness, but optimism is all I have right now. I need him to be safe, even if only in my head.
I look for the opening beneath the fence that had been my way through the last time, but disappointment fills me when I realize it has been repaired. My only option left is the tree that I had been too afraid to jump from the last time. I put my hands on the bark, pulling myself up the wind blows my frizzy, knotted hair in front of my face. Climbing the tree is so much easier than I remember it, but I would give all of my strength up to be weak again, to have an excuse to fall down and cry and deny all responsibility.
I finally make my way across the branch that hangs over the fence and into the district. I edge further onto the branch, feeling a trembling sensation beneath me as it fights to support my weight. I slip my backpack off my shoulders and toss it to the ground, watching as it lands in a pile of fresh mud. Then, I take a deep breath and grip the branch tightly with both hands, feeling like a gymnast as I let my whole body hang from the branch. When I look down, I see that the drop isn’t terribly large – not large enough to kill me, but large enough that I should be worried about what state I’ll be in once I hit the bottom. There’s mud beneath me – mud is soft, right? My hands grip the branch tighter when I hear a rustling sound in the fields of wheat. There’s a boy in the distance – is that Rum Tum? It looks like him. It has to be him! “Rum Tum!” I shout, my voice suddenly eager. “I can’t jump. I can’t do it. It’s so far.” I can’t walk any further, I can’t run that far, I can’t climb that high – I’ve told him so many times that “I can’t.” But he always reminded me that I can. And I need him to remind me one more time, because after weeks of pretending to be strong, it’s hard not to be weak.
But relief spreads through me when I realize that Rum Tum is here; there's no reason to be weak anymore.
ooc - bleh sorry this is one of the worst posts I've written in a while; just to clarify, Freya thinks that the approaching Levi is actually Rum Tum so oops
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