Star Gazing [Ele/Asa]

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Cato
Librarian

2,889 POSTS
last seen Apr 25, 2024 21:34:05 GMT -5

I wish Cato didnt die

Star Gazing [Ele/Asa] Sept 29, 2014 16:54:12 GMT -5

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Post by Cato on Sept 29, 2014 16:54:12 GMT -5

Crusader Rhodes
district 11 male of the 68th hunger games

I need a place to escape, a place to get away because training with everyone isn't worth it. How am I supposed to kill people that I've trained with, that I've lived with for the past week? It's impossible, especially the younger tributes. I shouldn't have ever learned their names, but if I don't have a reason to fight, I wouldn't keep going on. I don't think I could continue on with life if I killed one of them, but do I really have a choice? I mean, I have a choice, and I might have to fight them, but what would happen afterwards? How would the rest of the district act if I killed Stella? It's something I couldn't think about.

Somehow I found a way out, a way to escape, even though it's only temporary. I didn't know there was a way to the roof, but I'm there, and I'm staring at the stars. Every last one of them are beyond the beauty I've been able to understand. Sometimes I wonder if those are the dead staring down upon me guiding me through life. I'll never know. I don't know if I want to know. At least it offers me an escape, a freedom because I can think about something else. I don't have to worry about anything that's going to happen in the future at least for the time being. If I close my eyes, it's like I'm back home in eleven staring at the night sky with no worries in the world. That's a strange reality, but it's how I feel right now.

✌ʕ•ᴥ•ʔ
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last seen Apr 25, 2024 0:02:39 GMT -5

“And now that you don't have to be perfect, you can be good.” - steinbeck

Star Gazing [Ele/Asa] Sept 29, 2014 19:12:56 GMT -5

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Post by ✌ʕ•ᴥ•ʔ on Sept 29, 2014 19:12:56 GMT -5

[presto]

[/presto]

I go to the roof because suddenly there was a need within me to do so. I want to live deliberately in the time that I have left to me, to suck the marrow from the bones of this life that I can finally accept as being mine. It is the darkest hour, the calm before the storm. We will be going into the Arena in less than a week and I have finally admitted to myself that there is nothing more that I can do to prepare. The reason I am the worst son, the second one is because of the fact that I am the weak one. I have been able to accept this for my entire life, the knowledge of it heavy on my shoulders. He is the one that should be here, ready to win, triumphant and glowing. I am a waste.

I take to the stars.

I am careful on the steps, marveling at the renewal of energy I feel after only a couple of days of Barnabas' insistent care. I feel better, stronger already.

The wind is fresh, angry on my cheeks and the stars are out, they know, they understand too. They are beautiful, not like me.

I shut my eyes for a moment, leaning too far over the railing, out and forwards until the longer strands brush my ears, tickling them.

you a r e so
b r a v e and q u i e t
I forget
y o u are
s u f f e r i n g

[presto]

[/presto]

compendium / avriel
clown car / pietro
2022 tracker / 2023 tracker / 2024 tracker

Cato
Librarian

2,889 POSTS
last seen Apr 25, 2024 21:34:05 GMT -5

I wish Cato didnt die

Star Gazing [Ele/Asa] Sept 29, 2014 21:58:53 GMT -5

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Post by Cato on Sept 29, 2014 21:58:53 GMT -5

Crusader Rhodes
district 11 male of the 68th hunger games

Being here under the light of the stars highlights how peaceful it is right now. The peace is only an illusion considering the looming battle for death, but it's still nice to have a little bit of time to relax. Knowing the names of people along with interacting will only make the next week or so that more difficult. How am I supposed to live up to the expectations of the Capitol when they expect me to kill people that I'd most likely be friends with had I been born in their district. The pressure is getting to me. I feel like my peaceful side is slowly slipping away. What's replacing it frightens me. That's why I'm here tonight. I need to hold on to what I love about myself. My passion for helping people.

I turn away from the stars for a moment and that's when I spot him. I don't know how I missed him, or if he was even up here before I was. Not that it matters. Maybe he's looking for an escape just like me, but there really isn't one. I walk over towards him wondering if he's a friend or foe, and there's only one way to find out. I stop when I'm next to him wondering if I should nice and polite or rude. He hasn't done anything to me yet, so I decide polite is the best option. "Hello."