all i :: [paige/(blitz)/saffron] :: never wanted Jan 4, 2015 21:56:43 GMT -5
Post by penelope marcet ✦ d5f ✦ tris on Jan 4, 2015 21:56:43 GMT -5
I hate birthday parties. They've lost meaning, like pretty much all the other shit in my life. What use to be a get-together of three is now a fucking celebration of the ages. Saffron's first birthday back from the Games resulted in flashing cameras around every corner, interviewers barking out questions to destroy every possible moment of silence. They've been treating me like a dumb child since the beginning. Saffron's adorable little sister, that's all I was to them. The girl who Saffron sacrificed so much to come home to.
Saffron's the doll; not me. I've been rolling my eyes so much over the years that I think they're becoming loose within my skull. I've managed to avoid the same throughout all of my previous parties, telling my mother that I'd rather drink bleach than be like Saffron. (Saffron's always in earshot when I say it, but that's for the best.) I usually sneak out before the vultures can get any ideas; before they can charge in and get a few pictures of the little miniature Saffron! I spend my days in bars, drinking until my throat burns and my best buddies have to carry me home. Mother just shakes her head, and Saffron just looks away. Like always. That's how I want it, though. That's a celebration for me; being away. Being away from this fucking sack of shit burnt in Hell.
But, oh! Ripred forbid I get the same damn luxury today!
My mother rolled me out of my bed in the fucking AM. Squealing that: “Oh! My baby's sixteen!” Oh, fuck. Fuck, fuck, fuck – shit! I suddenly go through a barrage of flashbacks regarding Saffron's own sixteenth party. I squint my eyes at my mother, laughing and shaking my head wildly. “No. No, no. I know that look, no. I'm not doing a fucking performance for those fuckers. Not today.”
But my mother just rolls her eyes and walks out with a: “Saffron! Help your sister get ready, and wash her mouth out with some soap before the people arrive, please.”
And then there she is, standing in my doorway –
Saffron stands in front of the gates of Hell, and I snort fire.
– it's all I've
neverever wanted her to do.