collisions with {fate} | {goat}

I don't want to leave my bed. It's soft here. Soft, soft. My head is spinning, my throat burns. Let me close my eyes for a bit longer. A few minutes, hours, days longer. I think that would be very nice. Of course, my mother doesn't think that would be nice. I've settled myself into a nice sleep when she comes barging in. She rips open the curtains, revealing the smoggy black outside, and drags my blankets away from my face. "Odile, stop being lazy," she scolds. "I'm sending you out today."

"You can't make me," I reply. In true mother fashion, she does make me. She takes my left arm and draaaaaaags me off the bed. I make no move to stand, choosing instead to stay flopped on the floor with my arm still in my mother's grasp. "Odile," she hisses. I tell her to leave me alone. She throws my arm down, and it lands hard on the floor. HATE HER HATE THE BITCH HATE HATE I don't appreciate this very much. I crawl up into a sitting position and open my mouth to tell her, but I'm interrupted by a coat thrown at me. This is my coat. I didn't know coats could fly.

"Go to the market," my mother says, as I'm scrambling to pull the coat off my head. She places a list and some money at my feet, before she grabs her own coat and storms out of the apartment. Probably going to work. HATE THE OUTSIDE DON'T GO SLEEP SLEEP SLEEEEP I know. Mom's going to have my head if I don't do this, though. Maybe she'll hit me. I don't like being hit. I think we should go, but make it as quick as possible. Okay? Okay.

I tuck the money and shopping list into one of the many coat pockets as I slide on a pair of shoes- my only shoes. Brown, well worn. The market isn't far from here. It takes longer to hike down the many flights of stairs in this apartment building. I'm a very slow walker. The steps twist and morph and sometimes I miss a step and nearly fall head over heels. Idiot.

Once I'm outside, I take a deep breath. And immediately begin coughing. IDIOT. Suppressing the rest of my coughs, I follow the route to the market. What did my mom ask, exactly? I check the list. She wants bread, milk, eggs, and sugar. She doesn't even cook, why does she need any of this? I bet she just sent me to buy these things just to get me out of the house. Sneaky bitch. I keep the list held tight in my fist as the market gets closer and closer in sight.

Suddenly, I fall.

"I'm so, so sorry. Did I hurt you?"

YES YES YOU DID APOLOGIZE YOU STUPID BITCH.

I'm still on the ground, as I landed right on my butt. I haven't opened my eyes yet, but I manage to force them open. There's a girl here. She looks harmless. YELL AT HER MAKE HER FEEL MY FURY It was just a fall. A simple fall. Falls happen every day. "I'm fine, thanks," I mumble.

The girl asks if I need help up. I wave her off, and drag myself to my feet. She seems to be kind. I brush my coat off. It's only got a little dirt on it. The fall wasn't bad. I've had worse. I've fallen down the apartment stairs multiple times.

But I still have to get to the market, and that's worse than a fall. I've never been. I debate asking this girl for help. She seems like she's come from there. I don't like dealing with people, not at all. But maybe. Maybe. "Um," I begin. I hold out the crumpled shopping list. "Could you tell me where to get this stuff?"