losing faith { loony }
Feb 9, 2015 19:00:58 GMT -5
Post by lionel estrada d5 ᥫ᭡ kiah on Feb 9, 2015 19:00:58 GMT -5
They told me that I had to go in. They told me that if I missed another appointment that it could spell the end of me. They told me so many things but they refused to tell me I was dying. They always said that there would be another way. They always looked away when they said that it was not the end, that I could still have a chance. But I didn't need the words of a doctor to know that my life was coming to a close. I knew that myself. Especially now, now since my family have ditched me, and left me to die. My sister, Lei, she said that she would not leave me again, she said she was coming home and that she would protect me and care for me but where was she now? Two months ago she made that promise and a week later she never came home. I used to think that relying on family was the only important thing in life but then I soon learnt that you could simply not reply on anyone because they will always- always- let you down.
Quietly I make my way down the street, my gait uneven due to my left foot missing (tick in the box for cancer), my arm clutching the cane which hand become apart of me, and extra limb in a way. It was an old wooden one, one that was cracked and splayed at the end, making it a wander how it actually managed to hold me weight, but it did. It was the only thing that could hold my weight, care for me, the only thing that I would be able to reply on. Even the doctors weren't to be trustworthy.
Sighing I trun the corner that lead to the hospital. My feet pausing for a moment as I took in the huge looming building. Most people would see this place as a safe haven. A place where they could be healed, a place where they were safe and protected but to me it was a grave. It was the place that would determine how long i lived for, the place that would detect more cancer, the place that would sing my death report and the place that would bury me.
Slowly I make my way towards the white building, the sound of sick people becoming more evident the closer I got. But that wasnt the only sound, there was also sound of joy as people celebrated a successful operation, or as new born babbies were brought into the world. I guess it was not a grave yard for most, i think to myself dully, my eyes trained on the ground and not the faces of new mother smiling at their children, or father tickling the soft feet of a new born child. my parents never did that for me.... after all, my birth was the death of my mother.
Maybe that was why they all abbandoned me.
The thought hurt as I try to push it into the back of my mind, not wanting to add more stress to the already stressful situation.
I guess I better go here the good news. I think before wandering down the hallway which lead the the oncology department. More like bad news.made by ayu of btn
