The Fall of An Empire [Zeki and Kolton Death Post] {Day One}

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Will
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The Fall of An Empire [Zeki and Kolton Death Post] {Day One} Feb 23, 2015 20:10:46 GMT -5

Quote

Post by Will on Feb 23, 2015 20:10:46 GMT -5

.: ZEKI WEBB :.
{district five : 69th tribute}

The pain.

The pain.

The pain.

What pain? What pain do I feel? Do I feel the heavy pain of guilt? The pain that seems to just pull you down and down and down until you just can't possibly resist it any longer? Do I feel the envigorating pain of anger? Anger that doesn't slowly grow, but the anger that comes suddenly with a burst of insanity that's virtually impossible to gain control over? Do I feel the empty pain of sadness? Of depression? The kind that just seems to rip everything straight from you and then run away with it all? The kind that just just leaves you there, with nothing. Nothing but your thoughts. Or maybe it's the pain of betrayal. The pain that just doesn't relent. The pain that starts off strong, but never fades away. The pain that just stays and stays and stays. Chipping away at you forever, leaving you with no escape from it's hideous grip. The pain that will slowly and surely drive you insane?

Good question, I don't know.

I don't know. I honestly don't. I just lie here, on the ground, in the deep, deep snow. Lie here feeling so many things, but absolutely nothing. I'm not sure how that's possible, either. My stomach seems to churn, churn like an angry sea. As if Neptune was in there himself, stirring and shaking and stirring and shaking some more. But at that very same time, I feel like there isn't anything left. There's nothing left in me. There's nothing left to me.

Am I dying?

Yes.

No. No I'm not.

I can't be dying. I can't die. I really can't. It's not possible. I am living. I was living. I was living and breathing and walking and talking and looking and running. I was alive. Not even twelve hours ago, I was eating breakfast. I was eating breakfast with everyone. Well, not everyone. But everyone who could be there. There was Pixie. There was Patricia.

I'm sorry.

I'm so sorry. Who am I saying this to? I'm trying to say it to Patricia. To Pixie. To both of them.

Pixie had so much faith in me. She did. She was so nice, so wonderful, so sweet, and so strong. She believed in me, when nobody else did. When that two burned across the screen and into our eyes then into our memories, Pixie believed in me. Pixie loved me. Maybe she didn't, but I like to think so. Why not think so? I'm dying anyways. It's not like correcting me will do anything. I just hope for Pixie. I just hope so much. Because I failed her. She wanted me to live, to do so much, to prove them wrong.

But I didn't and I'm sorry.

Patricia. Patricia, Patricia, Patricia. I'm so sorry. Patricia was there. Patricia was there the second my name was called to the second I walked onto the hover craft. She was there to comfort me, when nobody else would. When nobody else could. She was the one who was so soft, yet so hard. She pushed me. She knew I could do it. No she didn't. Because if she did, that would make her wrong. I can't win now. She can't look up at that screen and be proud. Proud of me. I really wanted her to be. I really wanted her to be proud of me, to be happy that I was out there. Out there fighting to prove to everyone that I was worth something. I was out there fighting so that I could come back, and Patricia wouldn't have to have two deaths on her hands. She doesn't anyways, it's not her fault. But she'll feel like it's her fault. She'll take the blame. But she doesn't have two deaths on her hands, yet. There's still hope.

And I'm so sorry.

And Quartz, and Kolton, and Dillon. All of them. All of them were there. They were with me all day, all day every day for a week. And then they were there on the hovercraft. They were there on the pedestals, and they were there in the bloodbath. I wonder what happened to Quartz. I hope she's still alive. I sincerely hope that she lives. She deserves to. And I failed her. I ran from her, because I thought that would save her. And I was wrong. And Dillon. I ran from Dillon. I ran and then I saw her. She couldn't run. She was helpless. But I couldn't have saved her. No. I could have. I could have saved her, but I didn't. Because I ran.

And now, now I lie here with Kolton, just an arm's reach away. I failed Kolton too. I told him we'd be safe. I told him we could help if we did this. And it didn't. I got us killed. I let Kolton live right up to the horrible District Twelve reputation. And now, it's all my fault that he's dead. All my fault that he lies in the snow next to me, bleeding to death.

I reach out and grab Kolton's hand. I try to tell him, I really do. It takes every last ounce of me to do.

"I'm so sorry," I whisper. A whisper so quiet, if he hears it, it will be my final blessing from God.

And as my eyes close, as I fight to keep them open, as the dark consumes all the light, my thoughts turn to my family. My poor, poor family. They've got it worse than I do. They had to watch me die. They had to sit there and watch their sun get slaughtered and then left for dead in the chilling ice crystals that coat the arena. And I've failed them, too. And Georgia. I never got to say goodbye.

I'm so, so sorry.

I just want them to know. I want them to know as they watch the life drain from me on the TV. I want them to feel in their hearts the weight and sincerity.

And as everything vanishes. As it all finally comes to an end, I'm told,

You're forgiven. Go to sleep.

So I do, hand in hand with a true ally.

Thank you.

{table by zoë}

Last Edit: Apr 6, 2015 16:29:04 GMT -5 by Will

v Rook's French painting of Kou v

ali
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Ohana means family

The Fall of An Empire [Zeki and Kolton Death Post] {Day One} Feb 24, 2015 10:25:49 GMT -5

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Post by ali on Feb 24, 2015 10:25:49 GMT -5

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[attr="class","koltbox"]

[attr="class","kolttitle"]Kolton Enim

[break][break]

[attr="class","koltlyric"]I remember tears streaming down your face[break]
When I said, "I'll never let you go"

[break][break]

[attr="class","koltword"]They say death is painful, the most excruciating pain one can ever feel in his or her life, but it’s not. The final blow hits me hard but it doesn’t feel hard. It feels like nothing more than a pin prick against my cheek, then I go numb. All the aches, the pains, the cuts and bruises that wracked me moment ago- they all are lifted from me and I feel absolutely nothing other than shallow breaths that escape my chapped lips. I fell numb, from head to toe I feel no pain just the warmth of the blood as it seeps from my wounds which litter my body. The warmth is soothing though, it doesn’t make me feel scared like it does when you’re a child, when you get a graze from falling down on the street and you see the pinpricks of blood that line the graze and so you cry. I don’t cry, not yet.
[break][break]
My body feels, heavy. I feel like I can barely stand anymore, so I stumble and fall to my knees in the pink snow. The snow feels cool, not freezing, against my skin and I want to lie down in it and fall asleep but I keep on my knees. I move my gaze to the people who are fleeing, running away into the distance. I want to shout cowards- but the words are caught in my throat as they form, they choke me and so I find myself gasping for air. The air fills my lungs but it doesn’t seem to do anything- it doesn’t fill me up with enough air so I breathe deeper.

[break]

[attr="class","koltlyric"]When all those shadows almost killed your light[break]
I remember you said, "Don't leave me here alone"[break]
But all that's dead and gone and passed tonight

[break][break]

[attr="class","koltword"]Air is a funny thing, it can fill you up to the brim or it can leave you gasping like a fish out of water. I don’t know why I am so out of breath, why the world spins around me with every sharp intake of air I take. Why am I seeing stars, I ask myself as I find myself lying on my back in the snow. I don’t know how I ended up on my back, my arms limp at my sides as I starfish in the pool of my own blood but it is comforting. My gaze moves again, it seems to be moving all over the place- from the sky to the ground to the body over there…the body. I frown as my brain tries to fit the pieces, why does the body over there make me want to cry. The dead- or perhaps dying- body of a blonde, skinny boy who is now covered in blood, lying inert in the snow makes my heart ache and tears form in my eyes. They burst their banks and fall down my face, pooling in my ears as I turn my head slowly to look at the boy. A boy. He is just a boy I think. I should feel angry but all I feel is numbness.
[break][break]
“Zeki…” my voice is nothing more than a pained whisper. I don’t even know if he can hear me but I can hear myself, my voice echoing inside my empty head. It rattles around in there, becoming a lost thought as my numb and bloody fingers reach out and touch his hand. He feels so cold to the touch. His skin feels like ice and I can barely feel the flicker of the blood pumping through his veins. The cold, it begins to take hold of me now. I begin to shake as broken sobs escape my chest.

[break]

[attr="class","koltlyric"]Just close your eyes[break]
The sun is going down[break]

[break]

[attr="class","koltword"]Fear, my old friend, accompanies me once more. He clings on, not letting go of me as he did in the Reaping or at the training center or on the hover craft; he reminds me that not even 12 hours ago, I had been sat in the Capitol and had been enjoying my last few hours of normal life. If I had known it had been my last hours at all, maybe I would’ve done things differently. That’s what they all say. Fear fills my body and I cry- terrified. I feel more terror wrack through me than I did on the day of the reaping when my name, Kolton Enim, was called out over the town square. I don’t want to die, I am not ready to die. She doesn’t even know…
[break][break]
Quartz..
[break][break]
Her name flitters across my mind, like a butterfly. It settles and it seems to wash the fear away but by god does it not stop the tears that run down my cheeks and into the now blood drenched snow. Quartz doesn’t know. She doesn’t know that we’re dead- she doesn’t know that me and Zeki are lying in the snow; freezing and bleeding to death where we lie. I close my eyes, briefly, and I see her face; her slender pale face with hollow cheeks, blue eyes, a mess of blonde hair the colour of the summer sun and those pink lips… I wish I had kissed her. That’s always a regret of a dying man- they regret they didn’t kiss the girl.

[break]

[attr="class","koltlyric"]You'll be alright[break]
No one can hurt you now[break]

[break]

[attr="class","koltword"]I laugh lightly, but end up spluttering blood all over the place. I break into another sob, but this one is weaker. My bones feel weak and my mind- my mind is elsewhere. It is back home, in the seam, where people are happy that their kids are alive and that their kid isn’t the one coughing up blood in the middle of some frozen form of hell itself. I remember the simpler times, when I was small. My eyes flutter close, mother and father are washing dishes together while me and my little sister play with her dolls. I always played with her dolls. She looks at me and asks me to come with her…..I want to go with her so desperately but I open my eyes again and she’s gone. I try to call out her name but I can’t make the words. They don’t form on my lips, I just exhale.
[break][break]
I feel a hand, wrap around mine and I blink. Human touch, a sign of compassion, it is all odd yet so familiar to me. My head turns, limply, towards Zeki who is looking at the sky still as if an angel will come down and take him in their arms, whisking him away to safety. I wonder when death is coming for me, I think as I see my friend struggle to take a breath. His chest moves, slowly up and down- the movements are so small that you could miss them, but with each exhale he makes, his breath frosts on the cool air like glass; though the frosting is very slight. Eventually, his lips move to form words as he takes his final breaths.

[break]

[attr="class","koltlyric"]Come morning light[break]
You and I'll be safe and sound[break]

[break]

[attr="class","koltword"]“I’m sorry” A breath, barely a whisper on the still breeze that blows through the hills
[break][break]
His apology is warming, so warming in fact that the warmth fills my dying body like the sun warms a lake during spring. I have so many regrets, so many secrets that not even Zeki knows. He knows my parents are dead, I told him that but he knows nothing of my sister being dead- I told no one that she died because of me, I told no one that she drowned in a boggy marsh and was never to be seen again, I told no one of my lie other than Quartz. I told Quartz when I first talked to her alone, up on the roof sometime during our first week of training- so she knew that when I told Caeser that my sister was alive, that is was all just a charade.
[break][break]
“I’m sorry too…” I manage, a cracked whisper. It is louder than I anticipated because I let out a huge breath when I manage to construct the words on my tongue, it is still a whisper though. I say sorry because I am sorry that he is dying, I say sorry to so many others though too. Quartz…Dillion…my sister and mother and father. All of them, I say sorry too because I fucked up their lives in one way or another- the girls will not know I am dead until hell knows when and as for my family? I say sorry cause I wish I had been the one to drown in the bog.
[break][break]
Finally, I inhale for the last time. The sky, sun and snowy hills fade into nothing- I see stars, I feel a strange euphoria as my mind shuts down, a thousand nerves electrified at once. I see a flash of warm and holy white light; I feel my eyes close gently, Zeki’s hand still in mine. I exhale.

[attr="class","koltooc"]OOC Notes:[break][break]
Okay, this is a short but sweet thankyou list for all those who have helped me and such during my short time in this games!
[break][break]
Will- THANK YOU for being like one of the best ever ally. You’re amazing death post bought me to tears and I am sorry it had to end this way and I really hope we can be reunited in the games at a later date.
[break][break]
Jess- THANK YOU for everything <3 you are an amazing writer and I am so sorry that me and Will got ahead of ourselves and died <3 I hope you can forgive us and I hope Quartz carries on
[break][break]
Cameo- THANK YOU for being the humour in the alliance and I’m sorry Dillon died so early on but I hope we can thread outside the games together cause you’re writing is perf <3
[break][break]
Rook & Cass- THANK YOU for being amazing Game Makers and stuff, Murdoch and Paul will forever be my fave GM’s
[break][break]
Cici- THANK YOU for being my Mentor, though I didn’t listen to you at times and went against some of your advice.
[break][break]
And finally, thank you to everyone else for being SO supportive during my short run in the Games and for your condolences for my loss.

[break]

Last Edit: Feb 24, 2015 10:30:00 GMT -5 by ali

“It is not in the stars to hold our destiny but in ourselves.”