Joshua Lexington, D10 [Done]

Name: Joshua Jack Lexington

Age: 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18

District: 10

Gender Male

I bet I can run faster than you.

I timed myself to the barns and the front porch and I was faster than my sister. People don’t think I’m fast because I’m so small but that just proves that you can’t judge a book by its cover. The folk ‘round here have all sorts of things to say about one another but I don’t let it bother me none. ‘Cause they like to talk I suppose. I don’t like to talk that much about other folk. I like to ask questions, though. Do you? I don’t know if I’m supposed to ask so many questions but I do ‘cause that’s the only way I’m ever gonna learn. I want to learn, I want to be the smartest and best. At everything! Want to show people that there’s all sorts of things that I can do, ‘cause then they’re gonna know who I am. And not ‘cause I’m who I am but ‘cause I’ll have shown them what I can do.

It’s different for people to know who you are on account of what you’ve done and not ‘cause of how you was born.

I got a whole collection of rocks. Did you know that they all come from the ground? And that the pressure underground makes them different? You can tell how old a piece of rock is ‘cause of where you find it underground. That’s neat. And I got a feather that came from a eagle, I found it when I was up near the ol’ Tansy barns. I like the way the feather feels between my fingers. And if I press it between my thumbs and—listen—phbbbbt! Sounds like I’m whistling, right? It’s cause the little parts of the feather are vibrating back and forth, and they make a sound that’s higher than what I can make. That’s neat! My daddy thinks it’s neat, I think—his name’s Jack and he does cattle runs, and goes all over the place. I don’t get to see him a whole lot but that’s okay. Faith’s there too, and she’s nice and all. Makes it easier when I get bad dreams at night.

Our cousin Cash comes around to look after us. He’s one of us, a Lyvers, which was my mom’s last name. Except he wasn’t from her mom and dad, but they were close because they were cousins. Did you know that cousins were related enough that if they had babies they wouldn’t come out too good? I’m not supposed to talk about that sort of stuff but one of the boys in the schoolhouse told me all about how boys and girls get together and they make babies. I think that’s gross because the girls are all smelly, and if they’re anything like my sister they can just be plain mean. I don’t want to have someone spend the rest of my life with me if they’re just going to be mean! Would you? I want someone who’s going to treat me nice, that smells good, and will let me hold their hand once in a while.

I’m almost as tall as my sister, Briar. She’s skinner than me though. So I guess that makes up for not being so, so small. Just makes it harder when it comes to the boys that can knock me down. I feel like I’m growing slower than everyone else, like my arms and legs should be stretched out so that I can grow just as fast as they are. It’s okay, because my momma wasn’t tall neither. I got brown hair like she did. We got one picture of her that I’ve memorized. You can see all the lines on her face, and she’s beautiful. Nonnie. That’s what they called her, ‘cept it’s short for Noreen. N-o-r-e-e-n. I like to spell it sometimes when I can’t fall asleep in bed. Makes me feel better somehow, being able to spell her name and all. They let us talk about her sometimes, because she’s a part of history. You don’t know?

My mom is a part of history, and that makes her famous. She got picked in the 61st hunger games. She lasted Three Days. And she didn’t kill nobody. She was great, she made it to number 14. That’s almost half way! I can’t imagine how scary it must have been. Every time I have to watch the games I feel sad, because it makes me think about her again. I don’t like when I feel sad thinking about her, because I think we should be happy when we think about our momma. I was born right before the games. Got taken back here and given to my poppa, and he’s taken care of us ever since. My granny and pappy see us by ‘n by but they don’t come around so much anymore. Think they’re getting older, ‘cause pappy has a cane now, and granny has big ol’ glasses that make her eyes big as dinner plates. She pinches my cheeks and whispers that I look like little nonnie, which I don’t like ‘cause I don’t wanna look like a girl. I want to look like me.

I do feel sad sometimes. I think everyone that loses someone feels sad. Even if I never got to love her, I love her now. I hear all the stories about how good she was, so she has to have been a good person. And there’s even a little space where they hung up her name. N-o-r-e-e-n. It’s like a little monument. I heard that when she died everyone came out to the town square and there was a big commotion. That’s how important she was. You can’t forget someone that important. Sometimes… I wish she wasn’t gone. I wonder what it would be like if she’d been with us, like all the other boy’s and girl’s mommas. They get to be tucked in at night, get kissed on the forehead—even the nasty ones. I don’t care if she won or not—I just wish she could be here, when I get scared, or when I don’t know what to do. She’s not though—I don’t want to be mad but, sometimes… sometimes I think it would be a whole lot easier if someone else had just…

I don’t know.

I try to keep to myself or with my sister, or with my cousin, ‘cause I don’t get along with the rest of the kids so good. Especially one of those noodle headed emberstatts—you know they killed our momma? Well… one of them. That’s what Briar says. I want to sock all of them in the face every time I think about it. Except I know they’d just pin me down and put dirt in my mouth. So instead I like to keep out by the ol’ pig barns. No one bothers me when I go out there, unless I have to go and work, and then I just go with everyone else.

You think I could ever grow up to be someone? I’d like to be important, even if just for a little bit. Bet she’d have been proud of me. Right? I wish she could see us now. I wish I could see her.