The Past is Never Far Behind Us(Avalon)

.:Chautin Cartier:.
'fire when the strobe hits you.
bet you're looking for something new.
i feel the heat with you staring of across the room.
i dare you play your cards boy you bet i'm a trndsttr too.'
x

♕

Today was definitely not a normal day. Not for District One, and especially not for me, but I couldn’t quite manage to put the tip of my finger on it. The sky is dark, and the sun is seemingly buried under deep, deep and thick layers of gray clouds. Normally the days that passed here around this time were sunny, hot and usually nothing less of it. On days like these, some people preferred to stay indoors in case some natural, freak tragedy were to strike. The others, that were usually a short handful compared to the rest, loved this type of climate and weather. Me, personally, I loved it when it was this dark, it really embodied the level of emotion that delved deep within my own barrier. The moodiness of days like these were the most comfortable to me, they were something that I could actually relate to in the least bit, even if it was something as mere as the weather.

Sweat droplets, trails of it, formed into small, smudged puddles around the frame of my pale face. Sweet, dark scarlet red beads of blood treaded out of my small, fresh open slice wounds that were scattered along my body. Training today was a lot more extreme than any other normal day. Today was one of the several evaluation days that the academy held for as many necessary days as needed. The objective was to place a majority of the classes into brackets against one another. Not everyone is selected for these each time they come around every few months, and they claim that it randomly generated. Fighting. Fists. Blood. Wounds. Scars. All I can faintly remember right now of the situation is when they called my name. This most certainly was not my first time on the brackets, but I never really enjoyed doing them. As I stood in the middle ring the trainer called my opponents name aloud, bringing her forth to meet her fate, if only literally. The round went by way too quickly, yet all too slow. Square up. Right hook. Kneed. Uppercut. Roundhouse. Blood. Blood. Unconscious. Blood. It took me a while to come to, in a black fit of rage and fury I wasn’t capable of suppressing the beast within any longer. Once I came back to my senses, I take in all the damage I dealt to the poor girl, and how little she had manage to do to me. She laid close to unconscious, her face laid to the side, but her body faced down on the cold mat. Her face was full of blood that gradually flowed out from her nose and busted lip.

Training for the games became a huge part of my life, taking a majority of my time with it. This was all not by choice though, ever since I was younger I was sent to train with my older siblings, just like how my mom and dad were. While I’d rather be anywhere else, I had the rare occasions of actually enjoying my time here. Most of the days felt like eternity, the hours— minutes— seconds wrapping all within one another, causing endless amounts of time. I practically lived here, my daily routine consists of me being at the training academy facility since sunrise all the way until sunset, sometimes late nights. The time spent outside of the academy, mostly on the weekends was spent with myself, and occasionally a featured family member or friend. The desperate need to just runaway from all of this was greater than anything. I want to runaway.

After the fiery match that took place only shorter than an hour ago was done, I was sent away due to my victory. While my name went one spot higher on the leaderboard and the brackets, the girls was erased and dropped. It was a shame really, I expected more from a trained career, but she obviously couldn’t handle it. While I wander around the facility, little to almost any injuries that were inflicted upon me, where is she? The answer to that is probably in the health center. Once my minor wounds were tended to with bandage and wrap I left the center almost immediately. Attention is what was given to me, and attention is not something I seek, ever. It makes me uncomfortable, all those eyes on me, staring deep into my very own well being, it was something I wouldn’t be able to make myself accustomed to. Attention is something I couldn’t handle, but I surely received a lot of it and all of it was unwanted and unasked for, especially involving the case from two years ago, that people still bring up and let slip from their ignorant tongues. They know nothing. Whatever they assumed was, and still is, absolute shit.

Pacing step by step around the facility a sudden, and unsuspected, brick wall of fatigue smacks me right in the face. It feels as though doses and doses of hypnotic were injected into my veins, as if it was rushing and racing along side the blood that pulsed throughout my body, hypnotic is taking over me. I come to the conclusion that it was due to the exhausting fight and a result to blacking out. I brush off the sensation and make recurring stops on my journey around the facility. Almost immediately the feeling was replaced by one that made shivers of electric shock flow up and down my spine. It was like someone’s beady eyes were staring, watching, me as I made every little movement. Perhaps someone was studying me from afar, somewhere out of sight due to the fact that wherever I looked I found absolute silence. Perhaps it was and meant nothing in particular but just unsettling nerves that crept upon me. The sensation didn’t necessarily frighten or alarm me much, but the certain unknowing of the situation is what struck me, however I managed to brush it off of my mind and proceed. If it’s out of sight, then keep it out of mind. Coming to another halt I decided on sitting down and resting my head against the wall.

Step. Step. Step.
The heavy footsteps gradually grew louder and louder as every second passed by. Louder and louder. Closer and closer. At this point the person watching me made it blatantly obvious of it. Becoming known of the now known I got my definite answer, and I was no longer concerned with the situation. Keeping my posture I refused to turn around at the sound of the steps picking up their pace, making a beeline right towards their ending point, which was... me. Perhaps if I didn’t acknowledge them they would leave, becoming uninterested in me not giving them the attention they were so desperate for. I was most definitely not in the mood to be bothered, especially by someone who found the need to make pointless conversation starters and fillers with me. It was distasteful and a waste of my time, even if I was doing nothing. I found comfort in being by myself, and by myself is the only thing I wanted at this point in time. Closing my eyes, shutting out the rest of the world, including the person that inched closer and closer to me, I found little peace in these several seconds.

Tap. Tap. Tap.
The sudden gentle, yet pressure-filled, tapping of my shoulder instantly informed me that this person wasn’t going to go away. Without hesitation I stood to my feet, using the wall to assist me up, I remained faced away from the nuisance. Once I stood fully at my maximum height I turned towards the intruder. My eyes made instant contact with theirs— hers, I had no issue with staring someone deep into their eyes. Her deep, dark eyes were as black as my soul, I stared directly into my reflection held within them and I watched myself as I stared right back. Saying nothing to her yet I examined her body language, she seemed to be flexing, as though she had the intention to set fear and intimidation into my mind. It wasn’t working for her though. I never necessarily feared anyone nor anything, and saying that I don’t have fears but I’m not fearful on logical things that were to actually happen. No this was not due to arrogance nor confidence, but because I didn’t find the meaning in fearing something, what was the point? Anywho, this girls face was far too familiar, and it almost sent me into an obscure flashback, one that I paid no concern towards.

{ “Hey Chautin, wanna go play outside?”

“Sure!” }

"Okay bitch, you look like you can be the next victim of the day for me. I haven't blown any shit up lately, I'm in a really bad mood and I want to take it out on someone or something. It just turns out you're the lucky victim, and I hope there are no hard feelings over it."

The sudden outburst surely threw me off guard, what had I done besides look at her for being so unnecessarily close. I kept my facial expression stoic, I refused to give into her vigorous attempt to crack me. Clenching my jaw tightly and keeping my icy gaze held with her own I parted my lips to speak. “Bitch?” The name calling was absolutely unneeded, but I suppose that’s just her familiar character. I couldn’t blame her for anything, some people can’t help the way they are, and some people are comfortable with how they are. What place is it for me to judge? I’ve been constantly judged throughout the past couple years, and I grew to learn that it is a useless thing to do. “Firstly, you’ve approached the wrong ‘bitch’”, I begin to mock her in such a way to try and irritate her. “Secondly, may I help you with something other than pointless threats that mean absolute shit to me? If you’re looking for someone to settle the fear of you into their mind, then look further because the fear of you is something that is far from mine.” I keep my eye contact constant as each word flows smoothly out of my mouth. Crossing my arms before me I lean up against the wall. ‘Where had I seen this girl from? Why does she look so familiar?’ These very questions are, for the most part, are the only things flowing freely through my mind.

♕

Chautin— #e2ab17
Riley— #992828
{ parenthesis }— flashback