Schoolyard Psychology | Frankel

Mostly we ignore our surroundings and the games being played, instead choosing to read our book, learning about different kinds of nerves and how they send messages to the brain. This will actually be important as a doctor, unlike the math we are taught in class

We look up suddenly as a figure approaches, and we see the one called Tomas approaching. He asks us if he can sit, lunch in hand, obviously intending to eat here. We realize with a quick glance that all the other benches have been filled while we were reading, and the space next to us just became the only place to sit. It's polite to ask for permission even though he doesn't really need it, and Curiosity and Hope both clamor for acceptance of the request, and Fear puts up minimal resistance. What harm could he really cause? We could learn from him about social behavior, and possibly make an ally in the school other than ourselves. We believe this one is quite smart as well, which could result in actual intelligent conversation. We slide sideways to make room on the smooth wooden service of the bench, nodding and smiling at him as we reply to appear friendly.

"Of course, feel free!" we reply, setting our book on the nervous system aside for now. But what now? We wonder how we could possibly extend friendliness beyond this. Curiosity wants to just start asking questions, but that could scare him off, especially the random assortment Curiosity has in mind. Hope just wants to do something, without thinking about consequences. Anger says just pick up the book and read, since he interrupted us, but that would be too rude Aaron makes the suggestion to try and start a casual conversation, and we allow him to take the reigns completely. After all, Aaron has the most experience with this kind of thing.

"I think I recognize you from class. You're Tomas, right? My name's Aaron," we say. We extend a hand to shake, as we seem to remember seeing others doing this upon meeting. A strange habit, but one we should copy. "It's nice to meet you outside of those icebreaker games the Professor did on the first day. We keep the smile up, rolling our eyes to show our dislike of those games. They were an annoying waste of time for all of us, and they restricted any kind of real conversation.

Belatedly, we realize that Tomas has a reputation for being good at understanding people, and Fear begins to put up a more solid resistance. Extended association with him could be dangerous, but it's too late to change tactics now without setting off alarms. We feel our eyes flash for a moment with Fear, but we quickly hold it back. We keep our hand extended, and the smile carefully on our face. That, at least, Aaron never loses control of, just the eyes rebel.

Tomas sits and shakes our hand, and we can tell he recognizes Fear, although he takes it for some form of shyness rather than what it is. "Don’t worry man, I am not going to bite” he says, and we mentally sigh in relief in unison. He begins to eat, and we pick up our book and pretend to continue reading while he consumes his nutrients. While we pretend to read, we observe him. Concise movements, and we can tell he's observing us too, creating his opinions. As a game, we try and guess at his thought process.

We do share classes, but we never speak up to answer, so we doubt that he will get much on us from that. Maybe he'll think we're shy because of social anxiety; he won't realize the truth, even if Fear is still trying to struggle back to the surface and reveal itself to the world. This time, however, we hold it in check, with Curiosity coming most strongly to the fore. He glances at us as he takes a swing of water, and we smile before returning to our book. Others would guiltily snap their head back, but we move more leisurely. Let's see what he makes of that.

What else would he know? We don't share too many classes beyond requirements, so he must have a different focus than us, and based on what we hear he's probably going to be a psychologist rather than a medical doctor. A danger, but if we can't hide from him then we're bound to be caught during our early adult life, so this will actually be a good test. Hope almost wants us to let something past because Hope thinks that he might not mind like our teacher, but Fear keeps that idea from taking control.

We notice Tomas take out a muffin, and we mentally note the lack of nutrition, meaning this must be his treat. Many of the others have such things in their lunches, but we don't want to waste such things on our vessel when they make good bargaining chips.

He holds it out, and asks "Want a piece?” This is odd. Why would he give it to us? Maybe he wants a favor later? Or, we realize, this could be his form of politeness, since he hasn't seen us eating.

"No thank you. I already ate inside, but I appreciate the offer," we reply, shaking our head in the negative. That must be the correct response in this situation, since he gets to keep his treat and we show generosity. Fear whispers that this might seem strange, since most would take a small piece out of desire, and we can't stop him this time because of our collective lack of familiarity with this kind of social exchange. Most people tend to leave us alone because of our lack of skill at making conversation, but Tomas is proving less tentative in his social response to relative quiet. Once again Fear takes the eyes, and we look back to our book to try and hide it. Curiosity won't sit silent, though, with a potential wealth of information next to us.

"So, what classes are you in?" we ask, even if we already have a guess at the answer. It's best to verify, to ensure our guess is correct.

"Oh, I do Psychology and Sociology and the other usual classes," Tomas replies to our question, and we congratulate ourselves internally on our correct analysis of his interests, but then again it wasn't exactly a wild guess. We notice that he's saying it more like a salesman than a normal statement, and we realize that some might see psychology and sociology as a waste in this District, but we know that it takes skill and time to actually get into someone's head and understand what's happening there. It's not our particular forte, but we can appreciate his aspirations.

He says, "I presume you must do chemistry or biology or something along those lines, with the book you have?” We realize that it's not just us who can connect two and two, and we grin externally this time.

"Yeah, I'm studying to be a doctor, so I'm taking Bio and Chem, as well as Anatomy. Psychology is interesting, but it just doesn't quite connect with me, you know?" we say, not elaborating on why. It's hard to understand how to make someone feel better when one doesn't think the same way as them, and our way of thinking is distinctly different from the rest of society.

"Sociology is something I wanted to take, but I just didn't have space in my schedule." We know that to fit into society we must understand it better, since we are always disconnected from it, but getting our career of choice is more important in the short term.

Tomas quickly finishes with his muffin and puts his things away under the bench, and we realize that this is the dangerous part of the conversation, where his attention is not divided, but we're in too deep to worry about it now. We put our book down as well and look up, smiling as we pretend to enjoy the nice day. That's normal, we believe, since a few others in the schoolyard do the same occasionally. The best course of action is probably to keep him talking, and Curiosity is glad that we have chosen this way.

"So, why is it you decided to take Psychology and Sociology?" we ask, shifting the conversation in his direction once more.

We smile at his enthusiasm for his interests, Curiosity glad to know about his genuine interest, but still dying to know more. "Yeah Sociology is a great subject, especially in Panem. Every District has a different type of society," he says. We haven't thought about this much, since our vessel will most likely be confined to this District, but it makes sense that the other Districts would have built different social structures in order to better fulfill their roles. The Capitol was very careful to engineer those societies, and there's a kind of beauty in their work, even if it does restrict our vessel. We can appreciate the cold calculation that led to the social construct we were born into.

Tomas says, "The Human mind is so interesting you know. The littlest things in someone’s environment can trigger something in their mind, causing them to do a lot of things. I just want to be able to help people as well as find out why everyone works so differently," and Curiosity once again wonders what caused the start of his interest. We believe this can't be all, based on his exhalation, and we find ourselves slightly sad that he feels he has to cut himself off. Fear points out that others might find a longer explanation boring, or even suspicious, and we realize that he has prepared this blurb for an audience other than ourselves. We take a moment to look out at the ones in the yard, and quietly wish they wouldn't put such restrictions on others without even interacting with them.

He continues, referencing back to my interests, by saying "So you wanting to be a Doctor then, you obviously want to help people physically? Me being at hand to help people mentally…" We smile at his ability to keep the conversation not solely about himself, despite so many people's self interest. Curiosity is slightly aggravated, but Aaron is glad for the extended interaction.

"I'm not really sure if I really want to help people physically rather than mentally, I think I like studying to be a doctor because I want to help people, and the human body is more interesting to me," we say. Not entirely true, since helping people doesn't matter much to us, but we still keep a smile on our face. That's normal, we believe, in nice weather with a pleasant conversation. Plus, more than just Curiosity is interested, we all find ourselves drawn into the conversation.

We only study to hide ourselves and stop the constant misunderstanding, but Tomas doesn't need to know. But strangely... we feel as if it wouldn't be bad for him to know, like it would for a normal person. Fear, however, restricts all exploration of that idea.

"So when did you realize you wanted to help people mentally?" we ask, trying to get to the root of his responses. We know this could result in a rebuke since we have little information on the cause of his interest, but we don't believe it will end in discovery, so we ask all the same.