no { h o p e } lect for a good day//arrows\\

The past two weeks have been insane for me, tearing my mind to pieces. Happy, scared, disbelieving, sad, scared, happy, sad, relieved. My timeline of emotions over the past weeks. I was treacherously happy when none of my loved one's names were drawn from the reaping bowl.

I was relieved when I saw Gina Linoone start to walk up to the stage.

I was scared when I heard the small voice in the crowd volunteering to save a life just a few rows away from me.

I was disbelieving when I saw Paige walk up to the stage, following in the footsteps of her dead twin to save another's life.

I was sad and angered as I saw Saxton Hale stab my sibling in the throat.

I was happy in the back of my mind when I saw Saxton get shredded, but then I was sad at myself for even considering such a thing to be good. I don't want people to die in a death game. I know she didn't want to kill Paige, but was doing so that she could go back to the ones she loved.

I was relieved when I heard the door creak open as I cried on the floor, and in stepped my brother Preston. I was relieved that he was home from the detention center. I was relieved that I still had one sibling alive.

Within the past weeks my heart had started to mend itself from the year earlier when it had shattered into millions of tiny shard. Then just as I started to finish gluing the puzzle pieces back together they we crushed and ground into a fine powder that it can never return from when blood started to seep from my siblings neck and the canon fired.

Just yesterday was when the newest victor was crowned. Harbinger Rhodes. District Eleven's giant of a boy who had it good these games, receiving sponsors almost immediately. That wasn't Paige or Lily though. No one thought that they even had a glimmer of hope winning their games and so they didn't even bother sending something useful to them besides some small jugs.

That's what they had against their well sponsored enemys. Jugs full of water versus flaming weapons. It wasn't fair.

Today I am going over at my cousin's house. My aunt and uncle had invited me over but the main attraction of the visit would always be Svana. By attraction I mean she turns everywhere she goes into a miniture horror zone. Let's just say my cousin isn't really the nicest person around town..... and that I'd rather go play hide and seek tag with the peacekeepers than see her again, but my parents insisted I don't turn down my aunt and uncle's request. I at least wish I could have brought Preston with me.

I am at the door now, seriously reconsidering not fighting back against my parent's wills. I know my aunt and uncle really only invited me over because they think I would be a good influence on my cousins deranged mind. I don't feel like a good influence though. My face is pale and pasty and my blond hair falls in loose rags. I am just another puppet of the capitol like us all, but I am just a more depressed than normal one. I doubt I will be "a good influence" on my cousin, but my aunt and uncle don't knoe that since they haven't seen me since before reaping day when I was still relatively happy.

I pull myself out of my thoughts, and I knock on the door of my cousins house.